Katied1985

So maybe I'm posting in the wrong area of this website???but any way,I need to do some venting and maybe get so input,advice and encouragement! I have been married for 4 yrs. Now when I met my husband,he was a great guy!he stepped in and played the roll of father in my 2 yr old sons life..made me feel like a princess...safe and taken care of!ab two yrs after dating we got married and had a child together,and ever since then he has become a drug addict.may I add,before this he had no history of drug use other than smoking weed here and there in his younger days. He started off taking pain pills,for a yr I didn't think it was really a prob,I thought he just did it for fun.literally on our 1 yr anniversary he had to take a Percocet 30mg before our fancy dinner,then I knew he was introuble!he would get sick wo pills.he them started alternating back and fourth between pills and subboxone strips...then it was strictly subboxone..them he found xannex...he takes ungodly amounts for ab a week straight every few weeks.last yr he ruined every holiday including the kid's bdays.crashed the car w the kids in it..no one was hurt thank god. He went to rehab in feb for 20 days pretty much to get off the subboxone.3 days out of rehab he starts doing heroin for ab 2 months(mixed w the xanex binging too).im not sure what made him stop heroin,but he stopped and went back on the subboxone.so,he got out of rehab for the second time(for 21 days) ab a month and a half ago.he went bc he was arrested twice while high on xannex.1st time was bc his mom kicked him out of the house at 4:30am,after I found him parked at a 7 eleven passed out.so when she kicked him out he wandered into someone's yard and they called the cops.not even 2 weeks later he goes on a binge again and gets a DUI.so the next morning I had him placed into a rehab.thats like the short story of the past few yrs!he has really put my emotions through the ringer.stolen all kinda of money from me, verbally abused me, hasn't worked in over a yr,forcing us to move into his moms house 6months ago.i work 35 hrs a week bar tending...I'm helping his mom pay bills and taking care of him and my 2 kids!i have no family to turn to or help w a place to stay.i just don'ft understand why he is doing this..sometimes I feel like it's me...bc it started when we got married.we used to be best friends,never got into a fight,until he became an addict.im the past 2yrs I have hit him ab 6 different times,one of them being yesterday..and that is not me!!i just get so furious when I see him high on xannex and he tries to tell me he hasn't taken anything.and ofcourse things always get turned around to me..."I'm an alcoholic" since I drink 2 times a month when I get together w friends. Ughh how do I get him help..I feel I've tried it all.i really love him,well the old him...it's almost as tho he has died I think of leaving him...just have no where to go..no babysitter for my late work hrs and don't have a college degree to get a 9-5.ia there anyone else like me out there???!

Skye2

Hi sweet and welcome to SR. I don't know how things work over there in the USA but if you were here in the UK I would say get in touch with your womens aid helpline - i'm sure there will be something like that there?
It is NOT you! It's a form of abuse that you're going through and I suspect (having been through similar) that the reason it began when you got married, was because he thought he had 'trapped' you, so could do what he wanted.

Please keep posting and have the best Christmas you can for yourself and your little one Xx

Katied1985

Hi!!!thanks for writing back!!i did call a womens help line and they pretty much told me to get a daytime job so I could benefit from child care they could help out with. But I just can't go from making 20-30$ an hr at my bar tending job to 10$ an hr at some daytime job. Where in the uk are u from? My mom was from England and you have a great Christmas too! So happy to hear from
You!!!

Skye2

I'm in Nottingham - pretty central really. I don't know what to suggest babe, with not knowing the USA system.
Where is your mom from?

ynmamflm

I went from making good money to making 12 an hr. I was once miserable and now I am getting my life back. So glad I got caught and fired, it was the beginning of a whole new life.

Katied1985

Skye,she was from a place called pendle hill or something?and I remember she told me in the summers she worked at a place called black pool?? If that's any help!god rested her soul 9yrs ago

Katied1985

Ynmamflm I can barley support us all now off the money I make!

Katied1985

What do u mean by caught and fired??whatd u do?

Skye2

Blackpool is a massive seaside resort on the north west coast Not sure about the other place you mentioned, though I suspect it's London way.
Apologies for slow reply - am on night shift at a nursing home and had to go deal with something Xxx

Skye2

just googled it for you .... Pendle Hill is located in the east of Lancashire, England, near the towns of Burnley, Nelson, Colne, Clitheroe and Padiham, an area known as Pendleside. Its summit is 557 metres above mean sea level. It gives its name to the Borough of Pendle. Wikipedia

Katied1985

That's ok!!im going to get to sleep soon anyway!what time is it where u are?? And yes,I remember her mentioning Nelson before! She also compared black pool to our New Jersey beaches...w the boardwalks and rides and stuff!! K, hope your work night goes quick!!!byee xoxo

Dee74

Hi Katied

I'm sorry for what brings you here but I know you'll find support help and hope here
Do also check out our Family and Friends forum too:

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Sounds pretty bad tho - both his addiction and the violence your frustration is driving you to...it can't be good for you, your husband or your kids.

Do you have any support in 'real life' at all?

D

Katied1985

Ok!thanks,I copied and posted in that section..at least I think I did it right?i do have alittle bit of support!not near what I need tho!