| JLC82 | 12-18-2013 07:37 PM |
75 Days!
75 days ?!?
Looking at this number baffles be. I cannot believe that I actually accomplished this much sober time under my belt. I can't describe any other feelings than shock. My last "drunk" was "the end all be all of rock bottoms". I knew then in the midst of the withdrawals, hallucinations (both visual and audio) that if I made it out and could both physically and mentally heal from the damage and hell I caused to myself that this had to be the absolute last bout of withdrawals. Slowly but surely my HP has carried me gently through small and large trials that in the height of my alcoholism would have been "the trigger". It's amazes me at how immature we addicts could be in handling some regular adult affairs without a drink. I'm truly grateful for simple and complicated blessings. When I say simple things a few examples are: waking up without a hangover, not reeking of liquor even after bathing, having an appetite, watching television versus it just being on watching me. Gaining trust once again from loved ones, enjoying company and not hiding or isolating myself from others. Sleep, sweet awesome deep sober sleep. Not having to wake up sweating and in sheer anxiety for a drink. No longer dodging between several liquor store so they won't recognize me. Some of the more complicated things include my best friend giving birth, the death of my stepfather (who was my childhood abuser) the ability to face court dates for my divorce and D.U.I without just being sober enough to be there but running home to get blasted to escape the pain. This is a journey. I am yet still new and learning, but this site is a Godsend.
Thank U | 