Leana

First sober vacation was an all-inclusive in Playa Del Carmen, it was tough. Waiter service on the beach for drinks. I drank a ton of virgin strawberry daquires. I made it through and unlike others in our group, I remember the whole vacation.

Hevyn

Toffee, I think it's great you decided to talk about this in advance. You're preparing for the temptation - and figuring out how to deal with it. I have a feeling you're going to have a happy, healthy, sober holiday.

Toffee1

After a good nights sleep I feel much more positive this morning. I am on day 98 ,I am proving to myself that I can live this life without alcohol. My life hasn't changed much I just do everything I have always done just without alcohol.
Why then should a holiday be any different? I am making too much of this and getting worried as if I have no say in the matter. I am the one in control of my life and what I do with it!!
I don't know how many times I have to tell my dimwit simpleton AV this but

I DONT DRINK ALCOHOL AND I NEVER WILL AGAIN !!

Thanks everyone.

coming_clean

What about an ice cold coca cola on the beach ??

littlefish

Be prepared for these triggers to come to you often in early sobriety. It's perfectly natural. I can assure you though that they do go away!
In the meantime, try to identify them as triggers and don't panic. Understand that they will disappear very shortly. Identify, identify, identify. Is the drinking thought about reward? Is it about wanting to be a part of the group, and not the odd man out? Is it because you still want to associate alcohol with fun and enjoyment?
When you can start to identify your motives, you can disarm those thoughts.

GimmeAnudder1

I have had periods of sobriety lasting for 3 years and then 8 years. They were both ended by what I call "stinkin thinkin" that I can just have a few. Sure, the first couple of times I had just a few, then started adding more till I was back full bore.

Here is what I know to be true for me. I love the buzz. If I could ever be one of those people that can get that first buzz feeling and just stay there for the night, I would be so happy. However, I don't just ride that but I say gimme another. I, and I would bet most on this forum, drink for that buzz and then get carried away. I never drank for the taste. When people tell me they drink beer, etc... for the taste, I ask them if they like Coke, Pepsi, etc... When they say yes, I as them when they last drank a case of Coke in a night.

Don't give in. It doesn't work. Your wife and you will both be happier on the vacation.

jazzfish

Sounds like you are on target for a sober holiday. If the thought arises again, be sure to play the tape through to the end. It isn't a day at the beach followed by a drink. It would be a day at the beach followed by a night of nauseous alcohol-induced insomnia and a miserable morning retching into the toilet during that painful transition from partially drunk/hungover to fully hungover, all wrapped in shame, anxiety, and regret. At least, that's how it goes for me.

Tamerua

Congrats on 97 days!

The best thing that sobriety gave me was being present. I'm really annoyed with myself if I think back to how much time I lost looking for booze, getting booze, consuming, then looking again because once I started and ran out.... Then the hangovers and hopefully not trying to piece back my evening before. All that time I was missing the point! Missing whatever I was doing.

Have a good holiday, if you do attend meetings, find some before you get there, have SR ready to go at all times... And yeah, iced lattes!

Marcher13

Toffee I don't live in St Lucia, I live in Australia, five minutes from the beach. Believe me you don't need a cold beer after going to the beach, if a cold beer was necessary to enjoying the beach I would never have become sober nine months ago.

How awesome to go to St Lucia! Tell AV to take a hike, I hope you and your wife have a marvellous time. When you get back you can tell us about watching the sun set with an icy cold fruity sparkling mineral water in your hand.

Nightswimming

What about planning a couple of day trips Toffee? See some of the island while you're there and will give you a break from things as well.

Other than that I would be thinking about what I'm going to eat, read, when I'm going to nap and maybe fitting in a cheeky massage there somewhere!

dwtbd

I know you can do it, you have a great plan, it will work even if you have to break up the 'nows' into really small increments.

In my first few weeks of conscious abstaining I went on vacation. It wasn't easy , at first, and , at first, I was almost convinced I definately left myself without the capacity for enjoyment because I knew I wouldn't drink. But , it was doable and I enjoyed my time with my wife, at some point I realized that , that I was enjoying my time and not drinking. It turned out to be a great time and I had the added selfish enjoyment of totally besting my AV( the jerk- off liar, that put in my head that sober vacations are impossible to enjoy, what an idiot, what was I going to do ? never go on holiday again ?!)
wishing you fair winds and following seas, just stay mindful the enjoyment will take of itself ( anybody thinks otherwise is a jerk off)

edit
I also took a copy of RR The New Cure for Substance Addiction with me and Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, plane time and such

ClearMind

I've been on a couple of all inclusives, and thinking back now I realize I would have had much more fun if I avoided drinking altogether. Like someone else said, I spent my entire vacation obsessing over the next drink. For me personally, when I was a drunk, it would take over my life and I would think of eating and doing anything that didn't involve drinking as a burden and an annoyance. I would be edgy because of this, and I wouldn't enjoy myself unless I was being lazy and drinking by a pool. It's really no way to be. I think you should look at this as a positive, as a "challenge", and be excited that you can go on vacation and you get to do it sober. I'm of the mindset that we shouldn't adjust our habits or avoid things we like doing (non drinking things) once we quit our addiction. If you want to go on vacation, go for it. If we want to go watch a football game at a pub, we should do it. I think it is much more enjoyable to do anything when we're not blitzed off beer.

Good luck and have fun in St. Lucia - I've been there. It's beautiful!

kaonashi

Just came back from 10 days in Hawaii, my first beach trip sober. In a previous life, Mai-Tais would have played an essential part in the trip.

But not drinking actually really freed me to actually enjoy myself. It was hard at times but looking back I'm so happy I didn't drink and had more fun, more actual fun than any trip in recent memory.

You can and will be ok.

Toffee1

Hi everyone got through Xmas and new year no problems and today is a bit of a milestone for me as it is 4 months today. However the holiday is less than two weeks away and it is causing me some grief!! A lot of things we do in life we do on a regular basis so after you have done them sober it gets easier to repeat the process. Holidays however are few and far between and so you don't get much practice of doing holidays sober if that makes any sense! I could do with some more holiday stories from you all to reaffirm my belief. Just remind me how better this is going to be without beer! Not feeling 100% here , blaming it on the hols. I laugh at myself sometimes!! The only bloody problem I have is that I can't have a beer on holiday in st Lucia!! It's pathetic isn't it!!

FreeOwl

two years ago I had similar thoughts before a week long business trip to Vegas where every single day would entail drinking debauchery all-expenses-paid all around me.

But you know what? I'd been to that same event six years running and it turned out to be the best one I'd ever had. I enjoyed it and felt proud and joyous and free.

I drank Pellegrino... sparkling water. It felt special and different and not like I was "depriving" myself and with the added bonus that I was hydrated and present and aware and well rested each day and actually got to enjoy the whole time I was there instead of spending half the time feeling dulled and drunken and the other half trying to recover from wicked hangovers.

You can do it.

AA Meetings in the Eastern Caribbean

Dee74

I remember those drinking holidays where I was loud, obnoxious, embarrassing, ill, inappropriate and generally not very much fun.
I think I'm still banned from some islands...

Sober holidays are da bomb toffee.

D

Rickh54

Toffe, congratulations on your 4 month milestone. Good for you. We are all proud of you.
I missed your OP in December. My sober date is 11/12/13. We had booked a week in Varadero Cuba at an all inclusive for Dec. 7. We actually thought about cancelling as I did not think I could stick to the program while the music and Havana Rum was flowing. Like you, my wife needed a break and I didn't want to ruin it for her. The first two days I felt like I couldn't do it. Liquor was everywhere as you know. My wife kept me busy each day. Walks on the beach, rented jeeps, played golf, toured into Havana, more walks. I began to look forward to a strong cup of coffee at the bar after dinner. At all the previous 6 or 7 all inclusives we have done, the drinking was definitely the focus. Starting after breakfast til well into the night. I know what you are going thru and the doubts you have.
You can do this my friend. One week in St. Lucia is not going to change the determination and guts you have shown over the last 4 months. There is so much to see and do there.
Plan a trip to the volcanos, or the the Pitons. Walk the beach while holding hands, read a good book, have great sober hotel sex. The reward is you will remember a great vacation that has renewed your love and trust. Get your all inclusive money's worth by filling your belly with decadent deserts and fancy coffees.
Look forward to this vacation. It is the first on a new variety of vacations. The sober kind.
Post us along the way if you have internet access. Anxious to hear how much you and your wife are enjoying yourselves.

wolfpackfan45

I always have juices from the bar or virgin pina coladas. Just as good, and no headaches or dehydration.

autan

My last all inclusive holiday was spent at the bar alone, because of a massive argument with my Wife. I had basically a bottle of whiskey to myself. I drank so much they closed the bar. I was so annoyed I started chucking bar stools at the staff.

Went back to the room, went to bed and woke up in the morning and pretended I had forgotten everything. My Wife threatened to leave me if I acted like that again. I just kept saying that I didnt remember doing anything.

That pretty much ruined the holiday and I felt like I couldn't stop drinking. Out of 14 nights, I was drunk, every single night and ever morning, my headache was so bad, I was in agony.