Suekie

Hello,

I am an introvert but become the life of the party when I drink. I have always had a lot of friends but I have been distancing myself from them more and more in the past year.

I thought once I got sober (29 days ago) that I would welcome people back into my life. I have my moments, but for the most part, being sober exhausts me and come the end of the day I have NO energy to be social.

For instance, my husband who normally works nights, is working days this month. I don't get to see him a lot so you would think I would use this as an opportunity to hang out. But I just come to our room and close myself off. I know I'm having one of those days (weeks actually) but I feel horrible.

Am I ever going to let people in again?? Or am I even MORE of an introvert sober than I was while drinking? I don't want to be. I want to enjoy the company of other people again. Maybe I'm just out of practice?

EternalQ

First, a big congrats on your month of sobriety!! That's a huge accomplishment!!

Second in my own experience, and from what I've observed in others in early recovery, it is common to not feel like yourself and to even feel like a stranger to yourself and others.

It takes awhile for the new you and old you to inteegrate and it is hard to be patient in the meantime. But it does happen!! Hang in there... its so worth it!

anyistoomuch

give it time Suekie. 30 days doesnt seem like a ling time to adjust to all of the changes you are making. your bode is recalibrating, your brain is readjusting, dont fight it. give yourself a break from it. there will be plenty of time to open up and let more people in, but right now your energy reserves are probably low. and thats ok. be kind and be patient with yourself. sending you warm thoughts and hugs.

DG0409

Early recovery was exhausting to me. I needed lots of extra sleep. It has slowly but surely gotten a lot better for me. Give yourself some time to adapt. Who you are in early recovery and who you are after a long period of time sober are probably very different people.

courage2

Hi Suekie, congratulations on deciding to get sober and your days. Those are both awesome!

I completely agree with everyone's posts -- near 30 days, I was still in a muddle. I was physically wiped out, and mentally I was anxious about coping in social situations + still somewhat foggy. It has steadily gotten better. At one year sober, I'm still an introvert, and I have a boatload of unattractive qualities, but I'm able to step up to social situations when I want to, and I no longer need to sleep 10 hours a night.

Good luck and don't drink -- the best is yet to come!

Inca

I'm an introvert too and I found that I had to take sober situations slowly. Everything was new, especially at one month. I started going to meetings everyday and these turned into social outings and connections. I made an attempt though not to push it. I had in my mind that I should be doing all these things that I wasn't and I had to keep telling myself, "you're sober and that's huge right now". The rest will come with time. Just try not to isolate too much as I can fall back into old thinking quickly when I spend too much time alone.

Lifeisforliving

Thank you for asking this question, Suekie. I'm feeling the same way - I truly can't stand to be around people. Hate them actually...

I appreciate & take comfort in all the responses so far.

Dee74

It took me time to work out who sober me was Suekie.
29 days is great but honestly...I was still at the 'Oh God don't let me drink stage' then.

The really great thing about recovery is you call the shots...you'll reach out and invite people in - when you're ready

D

wehav2day

suekie, CONGRATS ON 1 MONTH!!!

you are awesome!

oh yeah, early recovery. i second guessed myself on EVERYTHING. i still do somewhat. i got it in my head that early recovery for me is gonna take a year or so. at one and two months, everything felt so raw and overly real. ever hear that SOBER is an acronym for Son of a B, Everything's Real? :-) of course it's exhausting. i just wanted to crawl in a hole. i think you have every right to retreat for a while and try to feel new things in small doses. a time will likely come when you decide that it's important to be around others to help keep you sober. trust your gut and your heart, you are doing great!

malcolmsloan

I hear you, Sukie, I really do. I'm right behind you in terms of time sober, so I really can't offer any suggestions about what things will be like down the road. But I do listen to those who have come before us. Let's listen to and trust them. It will get better. If they have done it and are doing well, we can have that too. Sorry you had a tough week. I hope things look up.

Hey, Lifeisforliving, your post reminds me of the line, "I don't hate people, but I feel better when they are not around."

Suekie

Thanks for your thoughtful replies. It makes a lot of sense. I just have to keep reminding myself that I AM IN RECOVERY and things are not just going to suddenly be "fixed". I need to work through it all, and accept the bad days. Thanks again. I'd be lost without this place and everyone's kindness.

(BTW - this is the only forum I've ever experienced where everyone is kind, always. I love that. )

Lifeisforliving

Haha! I'm always reminded of a scene from Seinfeld where Elaine says, "Ugh! I hate people." Jerry replies, "Yeah, they're the worst!"