Day 10
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 73
Day 10
Okay, so it is day ten. This is one of the longest times I have voluntarily gone without booze. usually it was every other day or every three days at most and only longer when I physically couldn't get alcohol.
I'm feeling somewhat calm, still a bit angsty but thats likely more to do with my depressive tendencies than my lack of drink. The trouble is the AV is quite strong- Because it has been so long the reasons for quitting seem to dilute. I make a list of the reasons I've quit and they seem to belong to another person. I'm at the stage of thinking of buying booze for Xmas day, a dangerous thought and I'm getting more comfortable with that.
Even thinking of the reasons I stopped arent enough, they dont seem that important any more. I know its going to still be a while before the desire to drink becomes tolerably low. Right now I'm thinking- I'll be alone at Xmas, no one around so no risk of upsetting anyone- forgetting I have the internet and a phone which means people dont even need to be in the same country as me to get irked by my behaviour.
I almost wish there had been more fallout from my last drunk. This is going to be a difficult couple of weeks. But I KNOW if I have a drink on Xmas day it WILL set off a long term drinking period again. And right now, knowing that is pretty much all that is keeping me from buying a bottle.
I'm really going to struggle over Xmas. If it was any other time of year I might find it easier, but stopping in December seems now like a silly thing to have done.
It is going to be VERY hard, but I must try. Even if my reasons for stopping dont seem as prominent or clear, I KNOW that I am only one drink away from months of relapse.
May well be checking in quite frequently over the three big Xmas days. I wont have ANYTHING to do, no essays no plans and right now the idea of being sober is more frightening than anything.
Can't I just have a day of binging? NO. I can't. but, gah, it is sooooo tempting. I don't have a drink problem is what my AV is saying, but I do. normal people dont drink like I do.
Resistance is NOT futile.
I'm feeling somewhat calm, still a bit angsty but thats likely more to do with my depressive tendencies than my lack of drink. The trouble is the AV is quite strong- Because it has been so long the reasons for quitting seem to dilute. I make a list of the reasons I've quit and they seem to belong to another person. I'm at the stage of thinking of buying booze for Xmas day, a dangerous thought and I'm getting more comfortable with that.
Even thinking of the reasons I stopped arent enough, they dont seem that important any more. I know its going to still be a while before the desire to drink becomes tolerably low. Right now I'm thinking- I'll be alone at Xmas, no one around so no risk of upsetting anyone- forgetting I have the internet and a phone which means people dont even need to be in the same country as me to get irked by my behaviour.
I almost wish there had been more fallout from my last drunk. This is going to be a difficult couple of weeks. But I KNOW if I have a drink on Xmas day it WILL set off a long term drinking period again. And right now, knowing that is pretty much all that is keeping me from buying a bottle.
I'm really going to struggle over Xmas. If it was any other time of year I might find it easier, but stopping in December seems now like a silly thing to have done.
It is going to be VERY hard, but I must try. Even if my reasons for stopping dont seem as prominent or clear, I KNOW that I am only one drink away from months of relapse.
May well be checking in quite frequently over the three big Xmas days. I wont have ANYTHING to do, no essays no plans and right now the idea of being sober is more frightening than anything.
Can't I just have a day of binging? NO. I can't. but, gah, it is sooooo tempting. I don't have a drink problem is what my AV is saying, but I do. normal people dont drink like I do.
Resistance is NOT futile.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Congrats on day 10. In my opinion there is never a convenient time to quit drinking. There will always be triggers and stressors that are thrown at us and we have to learn to cope with them whilst maintaining our sobriety. I quit drinking in October 2012 and last Christmas was my first sober one in years. What worked for me was treating Christmas day like any other day. Apart from doing the usual Christmas things i pretty much stuck to my daily routine and plan which had kept me sober for those two months prior. If i felt overwhelmed or triggered by something i took myself out of the situation and did something to keep me busy or relaxed.
From your post it seems like being alone and not having much to do are potential triggers for you so why not make some plans for the day? Keep yourself busy, check in and post on here or spend some time with other sober people. If the reasons why you quit don't seem like enough to keep you sober then maybe you could try listing new reasons to stay sober. If you need extra support then build up your support network. You can get through it and stay sober.
From your post it seems like being alone and not having much to do are potential triggers for you so why not make some plans for the day? Keep yourself busy, check in and post on here or spend some time with other sober people. If the reasons why you quit don't seem like enough to keep you sober then maybe you could try listing new reasons to stay sober. If you need extra support then build up your support network. You can get through it and stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Like Drama student, you must find things to do. If you just sit there all you will hear is your AV. It you do end up hearing it, detach yourself from it, like it's someone else. Your AV cannot buy booze, only you.
You can do this, be patient, change takes time.
You can do this, be patient, change takes time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
You can do this Drama Student - don't let that little voice convince you that drinking is inevitable...it's simply not.
If you don't want to drink, you won't.
There's always people around on Christmas for support..
Read around and post as much as you like - I got a lot from other peoples stories too.
if you feel you need more support there's always Christmas meetings and things put on by AA...I'd imagine other groups would have similar support over the festive season
D
If you don't want to drink, you won't.
There's always people around on Christmas for support..
Read around and post as much as you like - I got a lot from other peoples stories too.
if you feel you need more support there's always Christmas meetings and things put on by AA...I'd imagine other groups would have similar support over the festive season
D
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