Another scan and update on Mizzuno
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Another scan and update on Mizzuno
In one week, I will be off from school for a vacation. I have been in school for 9 months strait. No breaks, no weeks off. I am thankful to have made it this far. I am not sure how much longer I can keep up with this pace, but I am determined to get through.
On Saturday, I had to make a decision to either do school work or clean house and get my hair cut. It had been so long since I went and had a hair cut that I thought taking care of myself (finally) was a priority. This hair cut/ cleaning house set me back a day in school, so I had to scramble making sure all my homework was done. The balancing act is not so balanced.
I have another MRI this Thursday. I am not looking forward to it, but this will get me closer to the answers. I am being referred to a surgeon for my back. Some days i feel like i can endure this pain, other days I am of the opinion that I would rather jump off a bridge (preferably a very short one) to end this madness. The pain meds help and then they don't. I battle with being on these pills and feeling good about myself. Sometimes I feel like I may not be upholding my end of the bargain with sobriety, given that I am on pain management. I know that my sobriety is not in question, and I am not using these meds for anything but to be able to function. At times the meds hit the pain perfectly and I am walking around like normal. The trouble has been now that it is really cold outside, my back is in increasing pain. I have to balance the meds and know that I will never be out of pain 100% However, getting off these drugs would be a blessing. Nerve pain is horrible, DDD is painful, and disc herniation on top of it has caused this happy girl to be seriously unhappy. How I wish to run again!!! To wear my running shoes and jog a good 5 miles. One day!
Anyways, it is almost the holidays and this is the time of year where people think that drinking in excess is acceptable. I will not be partaking of that madness. I plan to drink sparkling apple cider and to feel good. I have made it this far. I can make it farther.
Lily and Max (my cats) have taken to eating the ribbon off of all the presents. We have put the presents away. I hope I do not have to have a funeral for one of my fur children anytime soon.
Have a good day everyone! Keep on walking forward with resolve! We are doing this.
On Saturday, I had to make a decision to either do school work or clean house and get my hair cut. It had been so long since I went and had a hair cut that I thought taking care of myself (finally) was a priority. This hair cut/ cleaning house set me back a day in school, so I had to scramble making sure all my homework was done. The balancing act is not so balanced.
I have another MRI this Thursday. I am not looking forward to it, but this will get me closer to the answers. I am being referred to a surgeon for my back. Some days i feel like i can endure this pain, other days I am of the opinion that I would rather jump off a bridge (preferably a very short one) to end this madness. The pain meds help and then they don't. I battle with being on these pills and feeling good about myself. Sometimes I feel like I may not be upholding my end of the bargain with sobriety, given that I am on pain management. I know that my sobriety is not in question, and I am not using these meds for anything but to be able to function. At times the meds hit the pain perfectly and I am walking around like normal. The trouble has been now that it is really cold outside, my back is in increasing pain. I have to balance the meds and know that I will never be out of pain 100% However, getting off these drugs would be a blessing. Nerve pain is horrible, DDD is painful, and disc herniation on top of it has caused this happy girl to be seriously unhappy. How I wish to run again!!! To wear my running shoes and jog a good 5 miles. One day!
Anyways, it is almost the holidays and this is the time of year where people think that drinking in excess is acceptable. I will not be partaking of that madness. I plan to drink sparkling apple cider and to feel good. I have made it this far. I can make it farther.
Lily and Max (my cats) have taken to eating the ribbon off of all the presents. We have put the presents away. I hope I do not have to have a funeral for one of my fur children anytime soon.
Have a good day everyone! Keep on walking forward with resolve! We are doing this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Good to hear from you - sounds like you have a really solid grasp on your situation and are managing this well. Glad you're still out there getting things done (school, etc) amisdst this physical struggle. All the best, happy holidays!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I would like to say that when I posted this, I was not coming from a place of feeling bad for myself, or wanting anyone to feel bad for me. I was only updating what has been going on with me. .....Looking forward to the break, my back (same old song) and that the holiday is coming. SO, I hope I did not convey that I was having myself a little party of pity. Not what I intended.
(when reading the post again, I think the jumping off the short bridge may have been the sinker. Although, a short short bridge that is only like 5 ft tall (what I imagined) would not cause more than a sprained ankle)
(when reading the post again, I think the jumping off the short bridge may have been the sinker. Although, a short short bridge that is only like 5 ft tall (what I imagined) would not cause more than a sprained ankle)
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
