Peppa09

I'm 26 and a single mum. I've been drinking since I was 14 and think I've relied on it ever since. I have that many problems that it seems pointless to quit the one thing I enjoy. My family had our early Xmas today, I ended up drunk by midday, no one would get me more so I took a taxi to go buy some. Instead of playing with the kids and enjoying the day, the only thing I cared about was wiping myself out. I'm actually a really good mum, but once I have a few drinks nothing else matters. My eldest is nearly 5 now, and I don't want him to grow up like this. I don't know what to do, I'm functioning but not great, and its not just because of drinking, it's a lot of other things too. Will giving up drinking help everything else, or do you just slowly work through things? The last time I gave up drinking I ended up in the hospital, I had a breakdown. What do you do? I just need to know if this is a healthy first step?? Thank you in advance for any advice.

IOAA2

Hi and welcome. The first step which you seem to be on is being honest with yourself about your drinking and the desire to do something positive about it. Too many try to bypass seeing a doctor regarding our honest situation which I think is vital. Perhaps a detox is needed but avoiding it can lead to some serious complications which can be fatal.
If we stop drinking many of our alcohol induced conditions will be reduced. AA has helped millions and reading these forums can help us down a sober path.

KEEP COMING AND BE WELL

SnoozyQ

Hi peppa . The best place to start love would be a visit to your doc .
She or he can run some blood tests etc and also talk about your other issues .

Keep posting as there will be more people here in a similar situation to you , who can help you more .

Stay close and lean on us xx

jazzfish

I have found that stopping drinking can significantly make me feel better. It also makes it possible to deal better with my problems. For some problems, quitting drinking helps because it was my diseased perspective that made the problems seem bigger than they were. For other problems, sobriety allowed me to begin dealing with them.

It isn't easy, though as my join date and sobriety date will attest to. I have two small children who are getting older every day. I don't want them to have a dad who is a drunk. However, I have to want sobriety for me for it to work.

Joe Nerv

Alcohol stole from me everything it at first promised. And then lied and told me it was my solution to everything that ailed me. It became all I lived for, all I cared about, and completely destroyed me, my life, and was on it's way to doing that to everyone and thing around me.

Getting sober gave me everything alcohol promised, and a whole lot more. I have aboslutely no desire to drink, and I have a pretty awesome life that I was certain was an impossibility while I was still drinking. The last thing I ever intended to do was give up the one thing in the world that brought me any comfort.

Alcohol is a liar.

I got sober through AA. People here get sober in different ways, but I'm grateful for the path I was led to. It taught me things I don't believe I'd have learned elsewhere, and it's been working awesomely for almost 30 years now.

Best of luck, and welcome to SR.

Cara39

Peppa I'm just on day 17 but I can honestly tell you that quitting will make your life so much better x

Ruby2

Hi Peppa, welcome to the boards. Drink never made my problems any easier to manage. It only numbed me up I shoved them to the back burner instead of taking care of them. Getting sober has made it easier to take care of them. It was hard at first because some of my problems were painful. Alcohol numbed the pain. In some areas me drinking was the cause of the problem but I didn't realize that at the time. By not drinking I can start unraveling the problems and taking care of them, chipping away at them one day at a time. Like money problems. Alcohol costs money and I was always worried about being broke.

I was a good enough mom when I was drinking but not the best. I was not mentally or emotionally there a lot of the time. When you are comfortable enough please share what you are going through. There is a lot of good advice and caring support here.

Quitting the drink is the first step and is worth at least trying. For yourself and for your children. I would recommend doing it under a doctors care if you have had troubles with it in the past. Line up support before. Laying the groundwork helps. I did in patient treatment while separated from my husband. My parents cared for my kids at the time. It was worth it.

Again, welcome to the boards. Alcohol cannot solve any problem. It can't think or do anything for you.

newme2day

Welcome peppa! Alcohol has had a hold on me for 20 years if i am honest with myself. I am only 24 days, in but i can tell you it is really nice to not let alcohol have that control over me. The amount of time spent just thinking about the next drink can be almost debilitating. I suggest trying for that freedom. It is not easy, but as so many here can attest to, it can be done. Give it a try. But i do agree that you should see a doctor about detoxing. I did not have that issue so i cant really help there. Best of luck to you. Coming here for support is a great start!!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Peppa!!

I think without alcohol, dealing with life can become easier, a fresher mind to work through the problems, having more energy and better health can give a better perspective on things.

The only thing though is to realise that alcohol if it was used for those times when life got tough, then by simply taking it out of your life and sitting at home instead is not going to end well either. A new lifestyle/pattern needs to be created to fill the void, a new strategy for dealing with those stressful times, because life will continue to throw them up, whether that be long walks, TV shows etc etc

With the right support it can be done!!

Anna

Stopping drinking will help you feel better, but, there is a slow process of working through the problems and feelings that we've been numbing away for years, with alcohol. But, you can do this and it will help you to be the best person and mother that you can be.

least

Welcome to SR! Stopping drinking is definitely a good first step to getting your life back in order. You've come to a great place for support.

Markdad3

You never have to drink again! Welcome. I am 46 days sober and have felt the way you do. I do not want to wipe myself out anymore, and I am working with fellow recovering alcoholics in AA. All you need is a desire to stop drinking. Welcome. I am glad you are here!

DeeDFab

Hi Peppa,
The first step to admit you have a problem is the hardest. I strongly recommend you see your doctor and go from there. I'm seeing an addiction counsellor weekly now and leveraging these forums as my support group therapy. My kids have seen me drink constantly growing up -- they are now 14 and 17.

You CAN stop so yours don't.

Good luck - we are all cheering for you,
>DDF

Peppa09

Thank you so much everyone, you've all made me feel a lot better about doing this! Alcoholism and suicide run in my family, on both sides, so I'm a bit scared. I will definitely use this forum to help me through it though, it helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing. Thank you for the well wishes!

huntingtontx

Hi Peppa and welcome to SR. I am a little over five months sober and I can tell you sober is so much better. If you think you are a good mom now, wait till you are a sober good mom. You will be a great mom. You can do this and being sober is great. It may not fix all the problems in your life, but at least you will have a clear mind to be able to work on the rest. Good luck and welcome.

KateL

Hi Peppa. It looks like you are worried about your drinking, so coming here is a great start x

ChrissieB

Welcome Peppa, Sober Recovery is a fabulous site, lots of help and support. I am just over 2 months sober and doing it with AA, I would recommend you go along to a group near you, it really is amazing I also come on here each day to say up to the 24 hour club. Doing it just for today, each day makes it very liveable and yes it gets so much better x

RustyLugnut

Hi and welcome. It's fantastic that, like IOAA2 said, you're being honest with yourself about the problem. Not a doc myself but sounds like detox may be a good start (not sure how much/often you drink). Then follow up with a counselor, and there's other options some people told me about last night in chat, not just AA, but look up IOP and SMART as well. I'm still struggling, but I'm sure some of the members who've been sober can offer up some advice.

Good luck, and keep being a good mum!

ReadyAtLast

Hi Peppa
Welcome to SR. I used to think I was a good mum too. When I quit drinking I realized just how much drinking was taking over my life and not allowing me to be the best mum I could or should be. It scares me now looking back at just how irresponsible and selfish I was. Think how much of a better mum you will be if you quit drinking.

My son is 4 now and I'm hoping he's at the age where he won't remember. Great mums don't let their children see them drunk or hungover. It's not just them seeing us drunk during the day which no child should see -it's the hangovers, physically being ill and not fully present. Also, for me the worst was the mental effects of drinking-the anxiety,the irritability the angst ,the fear all the time ,never being fully present.

I got sober for my son but now staysober for me, It does take time to feel physically and mentally better but if you do nothing it will only get worse.Your children only have you and deserve the best you you could and should be. Please seek medical advice before quitting especially if you have a history of problems quitting.

Good on you for addressing your problems and welcome =maybe look at the December class for people at the same stage as you.

Dee74

Welcome Peppa - you'll find a ton of advice and support here

Once I stopped drinking a lot of other things in my life fell into place - for those that didn't I was more able to deal with them sober

I think you've made a great choice

D