pattyj

I have 8 months as of yesterday; I don't crave alcohol or really think of drinking.
Except for when I'm stressed. I teach preschool and technology at an elementary school. We are practicing for a Christmas Program. Today was the first day in a long, long time that I wished I drank. Chocolate and meditating don't numb you to everything the way alcohol does. I won't drink and I am thankful everyday for my sobriety. But there are days where I wish I could just be numb to the world and all my emotions. I know that my stress and problems won't go away with alcohol but I wish I could forget sometimes.
Anyone else have those feelings?

doggonecarl

Dealing with "stress" is an important part of my recovery. There are a lot of healthy ways to deal with stress. But the most important thing I learned was that in some circumstances stress is normal. And stressing over stress wasn't going to make it any better.

I also learned that a lot of the things I called "stress" was something else...underlying anger, frustration, disappointment...all lumped under the term stress. And a lot of it self generated as a way to get me to drink.

You know how to relax, you wouldn't have gotten to 8 months without knowing how. Just don't wait for the stress alarms to go off to do it.

Good luck.

Inca

Oh yes, I understand. Stress was always a big trigger for me and what I've learned is that I'm usually stressing over something I can not control. So I tell myself that and work through it in my head. Nothing can be made better by drinking.....nothing.

Notimetoloose

Hi PattyJ, I am with you on the stress.
In my work and family situations that in your face type stress can really get me thinking of an escape hatch.
The other thing that triggers me is the huge big natural high, like a really fun time with friends and just feeling wonderful and excited and happy...

You are doing so well in your sobriety. Your resolve is impressive.

Once we take the option of drinking of the table as a stress reliever and coping tool we need to find a good way that works for us to deal with the feelings and situation.

This is where I have fallen down in my resolve as a non drinker as all those chemicals surge around my brain and body, I feel in a heightened state.
It can seem like ages to return to normal... I know exercise helps, hard core challenging type exercise, though not alway practical, even if you can find a spot somewhere and do a couple of dozen pushups, apparently it can help disperse the adrenalin that that is surging through your body and has not where to go. Yoga definitely helps...again not alway practical in the moment.
I figure it took me a long time to get messed up it is going to take a while to get myself sorted out...relearning healthy coping strategies and dealing with stuff...Take care.

GracieLou

Stress

I know it well and it is one of the things I am learning to deal with. I am grateful I don't have to much of it. I think that is why, when I do have it, it feels so intense.

I agree that most of the time it is a control issue. I can't control it so my first thought is to get away from it.

I have to get out of my head to deal with it. Get away from it for an hour so can come back and think about it again with fresh eyes. I go to an AA meeting, read, come here, crochet and sometimes if it is late, I just go to sleep. Things always look better then next day.

If it is to bad then I call my sponsor or a friend so I can talk through it. Many times I find just talking it out defuses it.

NoJimmy

I haven't mastered this by any stretch, but turning over to god the crap I can't really control has recently been a miracle for me. It's also easy to be immobilized by tasks that seem too large to overcome. I've been trying to instead break them down to smaller more manageable tasks so I don't feel like I'm standing at the base of a mountain starring up. Like I said, I'm not always successful in staying positive and moving forward, but that has worked best for me. And yes to exercise, the more I step up my fitness, the better I feel.

Thepatman

I'm still in early recovery. I'm on the pink cloud or something because my job is stressful, but it appears I don't care much about it when my shift is done.

I'll probably face the same as you once I come down from my cloud

pattyj

Thank you all! It's nice to know that I am not alone. I do need to realize that I can't control most of the situations when stress arises. I will start to give it over to God and see if that leads me to being positive. I will be going to a meeting tonight and may do some situps and pushups when I get home tonight to channel the stress elsewhere. Thanks again! This site is so helpful!!!

Anna

Patty, letting go of the outcomes of situations was so very hard for me, but it sure helped to reduce the stress level. I'm glad you're getting through this. Music is a great stress-buster for me.

PurpleKnight

Great job on 8 Months!!

Dee74

I dunno about you patty, but I think my drive to be numb was very much connected to my fear - fear of failure,fear of being found wanting, fear of not doing a good job....

In my recovery I've really learned to accept myself, and as Anna says, let go of outcomes and of those things that are not my responsibility to begin with.

I strive to do my best. Noone can ask more of me than that - not even me.

I haven;t wanted to be numb for a long time now.

Johnston

I relate a lot to what you're saying. Stay sober. It's much better in the long run for dealing with stress.

KateL

I don't think I will ever be stress free, I'm just that kind of person, but I've learned to ride it out and it soon passes.

pattyj

I talked to my sponsor and she said everything that you guys wrote. I tried to turn it all over to my higher power, accept that I can't control everything and started my day out with a positive attitude. The stress didn't vanish but I have had a much better day so far. Thanks for all your help! I love SR for the immediate responses that you give!