Trying to be patient
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Originally Posted by Acheleus 
Went to a meeting and a get together but did not get to know anyone. My sponsor is never at meetings and he will not call me. 35 days sober and I am depressed and tired all the time. I am thinking a change of place will do me good, so I may get out of my lonely life and go see a relative. It just feels like I cannot be comfortable sober, especially in social situations. No one at the meetings asks me how I am doing, and they do not impress me. It seems unhealthy to sit around with damaged people night after night. I just hate not being close to anyone, I miss sex, and I feel like trying to get sober has ruined me somehow. Maybe my body and brain are healing so that is why I am so tired and just want to sleep.
Sounds like you are trying to set the stage for another relapse to me.
Not trying to be mean, but this is your usual pattern.
Are you asking people at meetings how they are doing?
Are you looking actively for a new sponsor?
Are you still taking your medication regularly?
Why do you have the attitude that these people are damaged
like you are not? I'm very damaged but that doesn't mean I'm not
a worthwhile person who would make a good friend.
I'm also actively working to repair myself.
This is your task also, and only you can do it but only if you don't give up
and make excuses to backslide and blame (your sponsor, your family, your job, your degree program, the damaged unfriendly people around you and so on)
I do agree that you are healing and that the beginning of the process
can be rough and depressing. Yet you have to go through it to get
to the other side. That's the only way.
OK, enough tough love.
I think you can do this and you have a lot to give.
Someone will come into your life, hopefully for more than sex.
But you have to build yourself into the person who is ready and willing
to both have a relationship and be a healthy partner.
That will take some time, so as your title says, Be Patient.
Take care
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Naples Florida
Posts: 23
Acheleus, thanks for sharing. I think that you are experiencing the terrible "lows" of being without your drug. When I quit drinking and drugs, I had depression and anxiety that I never new I had. I was always using drugs to be social and comfortable. I felt exactly as you described. But it does get better, I promise.
When an addict tries to quit, thier brain has depleted and malfunctioning neurotransmitters that cause depression, anxiety, etc. It just takes time for your brain to bounce back.
There are "natural rewards" that should make you feel better. Being with positive people, taking up a new hobby and getting exercise sure helped me.
Stick in there, you have made such great progress even though you may not feel like you have.
When an addict tries to quit, thier brain has depleted and malfunctioning neurotransmitters that cause depression, anxiety, etc. It just takes time for your brain to bounce back.
There are "natural rewards" that should make you feel better. Being with positive people, taking up a new hobby and getting exercise sure helped me.
Stick in there, you have made such great progress even though you may not feel like you have.
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