methodman1019

Hi all,

I'm 3 weeks away from being 4 months sober. It would be a tie for the longest time I've been sober in 25 years. To say I'm feeling a tad irratated, angry, and moody would be an understatement. I was feeling sooo very good for several weeks, but it appears things are turning. My AV sees the ***** in the armor and is all to happy to take advantage. It's getting very hard to hold the AV at bay. If I still think rationally about drinking again, I can see the physical and emotional pain it was causing me, so that keeps safe for the time being. I just wanted to get this down in writing. I rely heavily on this site everyday, though I don't post much. I attend therapy once a week and had been going to AA 2 times a week. I don't know why I stopped attending AA around the holidays...just not sure even. Perhaps time to rethink my recovery plan. I just hope I can make it through what I hope will be a brief stint of crazy, all over the place, feelings.

All the best,

Methodman

PurpleKnight

Great job Methodman!!

Keep pushing through and hopefully things will improve!!

jazzfish

Maybe a good time to go back to a meeting, or make a new goal to grow your life and go after it. My sobriety hates to sit still. If I'm sitting still in life and only focusing on not drinking, then I most always end up going backwards.

doggonecarl

Methodman,
First off, congrats on three months.

It's not unusual to hit a bad spell at certain milestones. Ninety days, six months, etc. One of the forum members, probably Dee, mentioned PAWS, so I looked it up. Explained why I was feeling the way I was. Didn't make it better, but it was helpful knowing that I wasn't teetering on the edge of a relapse.

Stay vigilant. You'll get past this.

KateL

You are doing really great. Keep it up xxxxx

Vedette

I think I know how you feel Method. I'm going on 51 days sober but feel like I'm not recovering, just keeping my AV at bay. Big snow storm coming here this weekend and I actually had that old (but fleeting) thought of stocking up on vodka in case I get stuck in the house for a couple days. My therapist says I'm going through Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS?) and that I'm grieving losses. Loss of my job and some mobility due to disability, loss of a friend (booze.) Not sure I'm buying it but keeping an open mind. I really want to keep this sober streak going though and I wish the same for you.

ClearMind

Great job methodman, keep coming and try to post more. I find the posting part of it helps - like you said, it may be because if you write something down, it becomes more real and more like a "plan" than thinking about it in your head.

newme2day

I have been feeling the same way. One thing that keeps me from drinking is thinking about the last time I drank. It was really bad, and I never want to be there again. I am only three weeks in, so it's still fresh in my mind. Everytime i try to glorify drinking, i go back to that moment, and it was anything but glorious!

NJKitty

Ditto...Today is the first day I feel like I am coming out of a funk. I am 6 months with a drink and think I was having an episode of PAWS (I know this thanks to the post by Dee that Doggone Carl mentioned above). I also know my sugar binges were getting me down. I had to come up with a new plan to combat the little sugar av. I am three days in on that front and the focusing on my diet, as well as a commitment to meditate once a day for 10 minutes has really helped. None of these tools would be in my box without SR. So keep posting, keep reading and recommit to your plan Methodman. You are doing great.