being dry is just the beginning
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: in canada
Posts: 11
Good Morning :veryhappy
I wonder if I could ask a question? I seem to be sleeping a great deal lately. I used to be barely able to sleep, now when my alarm goes off in the morning, I set it forward and end up having a very rushed morning to make it to work on time??? (meaning I turn it off again, close my eyes and wake up with barely an hour to get me and the babe ready for work lol)
I just wonder if this is normal? I'm turning into a sleeper again I think, grrrrr.
Oh well, it could be worse. I'm so happy to have woken up this morning, able to ask this question. Instead of having to have told you wonderful people something different. Just waking up and knowing that I didn't drink yesterday, or do something I shouldn't have done, makes me feel like a person again. This is the longest I've been sober in a long while, and man..it feels great. A real blessing I've been granted. Each day, I do something that I used to do before I started this downward spiral...last night I read a magazine I enjoyed regarding parenting. Something so small, yet which held so much meaning to me at one point, a long while ago. Kind of makes me weepy! In a good way this time. Each day that passes, a little of the good in me peeks thru. ~that kinda sounds freaky to me, but it's all good~ lol
Ok, enough babbling, tonight is a good mtg night. Today is too, I think I'll go to the lunch mtg today. Maybe even do a second tonight, I have some catching up to do.
Thank you for being here SR! You were here for me just a short while ago, and your messages of hope, love and also the ones of pain, have allowed me to open my eyes and see what I am missing, experiencing and want so very much.
Thank you, and
to all
One very grateful alcoholic,
Manda
I wonder if I could ask a question? I seem to be sleeping a great deal lately. I used to be barely able to sleep, now when my alarm goes off in the morning, I set it forward and end up having a very rushed morning to make it to work on time??? (meaning I turn it off again, close my eyes and wake up with barely an hour to get me and the babe ready for work lol)
I just wonder if this is normal? I'm turning into a sleeper again I think, grrrrr.
Oh well, it could be worse. I'm so happy to have woken up this morning, able to ask this question. Instead of having to have told you wonderful people something different. Just waking up and knowing that I didn't drink yesterday, or do something I shouldn't have done, makes me feel like a person again. This is the longest I've been sober in a long while, and man..it feels great. A real blessing I've been granted. Each day, I do something that I used to do before I started this downward spiral...last night I read a magazine I enjoyed regarding parenting. Something so small, yet which held so much meaning to me at one point, a long while ago. Kind of makes me weepy! In a good way this time. Each day that passes, a little of the good in me peeks thru. ~that kinda sounds freaky to me, but it's all good~ lol
Ok, enough babbling, tonight is a good mtg night. Today is too, I think I'll go to the lunch mtg today. Maybe even do a second tonight, I have some catching up to do.
Thank you for being here SR! You were here for me just a short while ago, and your messages of hope, love and also the ones of pain, have allowed me to open my eyes and see what I am missing, experiencing and want so very much.
Thank you, and
to allOne very grateful alcoholic,
Manda
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: in canada
Posts: 11
Good Morning :smile:
Another sober beginning to another rainy day (ugh!), can't have everything now, can I? lol
The mtgs were great, even stayed up a bit later than normal, thanks to the wonderful coffee they serve. The only reason I can find for my happiness at this time, is that I'm refocused, back in the saddle again. I did have a bit over three years sober, but it's different this time. I'm all too aware that I can land right back in the gutter I was hanging out in, in a heartbeat. I did learn a few things about the quality of my sobriety, meaning there was none. I started this thread to remind me on a daily basis, that there is SO much more to not drinking than just not drinking. I've heard stuff in mtgs so far, that I probably heard before, but maybe the stakes weren't high enough then for me? The stakes are as high as I care to take them now. The messages I'm hearing from the shares is sinking in this time round. This is no longer a social outing for me, it's a matter of life and death, and protecting myself from my addiction. I cannot do this alone, no matter how hard I try. My feelings seem to be the biggest thing right now, I still react before thinking at times. But I've only just begun. First things first, right?
Still treading water, but getting closer and closer to the shore each and every day.
Life is all right today, wishing you the same.
Manda
Another sober beginning to another rainy day (ugh!), can't have everything now, can I? lol
The mtgs were great, even stayed up a bit later than normal, thanks to the wonderful coffee they serve. The only reason I can find for my happiness at this time, is that I'm refocused, back in the saddle again. I did have a bit over three years sober, but it's different this time. I'm all too aware that I can land right back in the gutter I was hanging out in, in a heartbeat. I did learn a few things about the quality of my sobriety, meaning there was none. I started this thread to remind me on a daily basis, that there is SO much more to not drinking than just not drinking. I've heard stuff in mtgs so far, that I probably heard before, but maybe the stakes weren't high enough then for me? The stakes are as high as I care to take them now. The messages I'm hearing from the shares is sinking in this time round. This is no longer a social outing for me, it's a matter of life and death, and protecting myself from my addiction. I cannot do this alone, no matter how hard I try. My feelings seem to be the biggest thing right now, I still react before thinking at times. But I've only just begun. First things first, right?
Still treading water, but getting closer and closer to the shore each and every day.
Life is all right today, wishing you the same.
Manda
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
You seem to be doing great Manda, we're here for you. Look after you and the little one, I spent most of my children's childhoods in a haze worse again they saw me too in that haze......not a pretty sight.......glad you have seen another way.
Love Indigo
Love Indigo
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: in canada
Posts: 11
Good morning once again,
Haven't been on for a bit, been working and winding things up, I work in a school, so it's crazy right now.
A very strange thing happened last night, and for the life of me I don't know how I didn't succumb to it.
I wanted something, anything to get drunk off of. It could be a multitude of stuff for me, but the liquor was the strongest one. I drove around and around, with the baby in the back seat. I even drove past the off sale>?????
I didn't stop or end up drinking or anything else. Amazingly enough. I've been having some pretty good days lately, then this????? Now the strange thing is this, I phoned like 8 people to talk to before I got in my car, all of them, and this is totally wierd, all of them did not answer.
It was like I was left to my own. Then the baby decided to share her juice with me, and she gave me this little look that she's just started using, like she's trying to con me, lol. It worked, everything lifted and we stopped in a store, and I got some juice for the both of us. (didn't feel like sippin on the sippy cup)
I think I've been goin the right road so far, but maybe some relapse insight would be helpful for me. Soemthing to share this week, I suppose.
okay, here I go, another hectic day ahead of me, but thank god I can do it with a clear head!!!!
any insight to this would be most helpful. I am a great reader and not so great a listener at times. lol
manda
Haven't been on for a bit, been working and winding things up, I work in a school, so it's crazy right now.
A very strange thing happened last night, and for the life of me I don't know how I didn't succumb to it.
I wanted something, anything to get drunk off of. It could be a multitude of stuff for me, but the liquor was the strongest one. I drove around and around, with the baby in the back seat. I even drove past the off sale>?????
I didn't stop or end up drinking or anything else. Amazingly enough. I've been having some pretty good days lately, then this????? Now the strange thing is this, I phoned like 8 people to talk to before I got in my car, all of them, and this is totally wierd, all of them did not answer.
It was like I was left to my own. Then the baby decided to share her juice with me, and she gave me this little look that she's just started using, like she's trying to con me, lol. It worked, everything lifted and we stopped in a store, and I got some juice for the both of us. (didn't feel like sippin on the sippy cup)
I think I've been goin the right road so far, but maybe some relapse insight would be helpful for me. Soemthing to share this week, I suppose.
okay, here I go, another hectic day ahead of me, but thank god I can do it with a clear head!!!!
any insight to this would be most helpful. I am a great reader and not so great a listener at times. lol
manda
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