marie1973

Well, after looking at the site and doing some post readings over the last couple of days I realized this site can be very beneficial, helpful, and most important support in what I am hoping is finally my life of sobriety. I haven't thought about what I might say to introduce myself, I would probably over think it, analyze it, re-word, and ultimately decide I was all over the place and should just keep reading other posts.
So here goes, freestyle.
I am first and foremost a wife and mother to three sweet girls. I am an oncology nurse that works night shift 3 times a week. I have been a runner for 25 years with only a few breaks to have babies or other life situations. Being a good listener and offering advice or just being a sounding board is a big part of my personality. I don't like to argue and I cannot remember the last time I actually raised my voice at anyone. I am a Disney World fanatic (I go whenever I can manage the time off, probably 100 times in the last ten years).
I am an alcoholic. I've known it for several years but I manage to bring it back under "control" just before its obvious to anyone else. I've been sober for a year or even two at a time (mostly to be pregnant and subsequently nursing) at which point I convince myself that I have changed and won't go there again, until I do. I started drinking again three years ago when our youngest was one, and it has incrementally progressed. I haven't lost my family, my job, or life to alcohol yet, but it would only be a matter of time and that is why I am choosing to be sober.
What have I lost? Respect. Respect for myself, respect of my husband, respect of a few others who have been witness to my antics...
Time. I have lost track of hours of time spent doing things with friends and family that should have been memorable, but are nothing more than vague memories and a few pictures.
Money. Although in the big scheme of life it holds little value, I honestly feel that had I not thrown so much money at alcohol and the shopping and wastefulness I did with money when drinking or over the guilt of drinking, my financial life would be a different picture for me and my family.
I am certain I could think of more but for the sake of not writing a novel I will end with this, I want to be sober.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

That's how I would have described my drinking at the point I quit. But after a night of uncontrolled drinking, I had a moment of clarity where I saw my drinking for what it was, and where it was headed if I didn't quit.

I quit, finally accepting that I wasn't a normal drinker, never would be, and could never drink again. And I haven't looked back. Blessed to be sober over 3 years.

countingdays

Welcome Marie. I'm a mother of 2 sweet girls and in the same boat-

IOAA2

Welcome Marie. As many things in life alcoholism is not simple. Once I was able to stop drinking I needed to recognize and work on the reasons I drank. I joined AA and it's been a good life since without drinking and working on staying recovered. I learned that even if I'm not drinking life still has its bumps and I don't have to drink. Hang in there one day at a time if you can.

BE WELL

ImperfectlyMe

Welcome Marie! Momma of two sweet girls as well as an avid runner welcome to the crew, I hope you find support here. It's been instrumental for me!

least

to the family. You'll find a lot of support here.


(mother of four girls, all grown up now)

newme2day

Welcome marie! I am mom to two awesome kids! I am in the early stage of recovery, feeling good about myself, but taking one day at a time!! Lots of support here . . .we are all in this together!

firstymer

Welcome, Marie, from one alcoholic runner to another. SR has been instrumental in helping me stay sober for several months now. It has transformed my life. Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR, Marie!

Hope is a wonderful thing. Hope is essential. Given that change is possible, hope is even reasonable.

What's the plan to turn hope into reality? Are there other components to your sobriety plan than hanging out on SR for support? (Some people do it that way, it just wasn't clear if that's what you intend.)

Good Luck on Your Journey!

DeeDFab

Way to go Marie. As the Mom of two wonderful teenaged daughters, this is absolutely the best thing you can do both for yourself and for them. Of course, your husband too! I'm entering my third week of sobriety -- the first few weeks were very hard -- many cravings, headaches and anxiety attacks but I'm happy to report, they are now diminishing rapidly. I work out or swim laps daily to help combat it all.

I'm so glad I found this website and use it as my form of "AA" therapy along with a weekly visit to an addiction counsellor in our little town.

Do whatever it takes - it's so worth it!
>DDF

Louise82

Welcome Marie! I'm glad you're deciding to give sobriety another go and that you're aware of what you've lost in active alcoholism - now focus on gaining it all back and then some. All the things you mention - respect, time, money - I've also lost through drinking but I'm gaining them back with every day I stay sober.

Gibbons2

Welcome Marie! Today is day one for me and I am happy you are here. Recovery is a long process, literally when AAers say a day at a time, they mean it.

TODAY stay sober. Worry about tomorrow TOMORROW.

Little steps take you forward and you CAN do it. And so can I.

Hugs to you!

marie1973

Thanks for the wonderful welcome, I hope and will try to be as helpful to others in whatever way I can.

I am on day 3, and know I will make it to at least day 5...because I work tonight and tomorrow night....which is good for me, I've only gone maybe 3 days without a single drink in at least year, but dang we have holiday events on Friday and Saturday night, I'm already having anxiety over it.

Gibbons2

Marie,

That sounds like me. I can usually go about 3 days (maybe four if I try hard) and then give in and have to start all over again. Lately, it's been every other day I have been drinking.

Longest I have succeed in staying sober in 7 years is 8 days. And I don't think I have a problem? LOL.

Don't think about Friday until Friday. Have a plan. Drink soda. And if you need to go home early because you "just can't take it anymore," do it.

Your sobriety comes first above ALL things (including parties).

Or just fake sick if that is what you need to do to stay sober. It is the flu season after all.

Gibbons2

Marie,

That sounds like me. I can usually go about 3 days (maybe four if I try hard) and then give in and have to start all over again. Lately, it's been every other day I have been drinking.

Longest I have succeed in staying sober in 7 years is 8 days. And I don't think I have a problem? LOL.

Don't think about Friday until Friday. Have a plan. Drink soda. And if you need to go home early because you "just can't take it anymore," do it.

Your sobriety comes first above ALL things (including parties).

Or just fake sick if that is what you need to do to stay sober. It is the flu season after all.

Nonsensical

That anxiety is a manifestation of your addiction telling you that you are unable to prevent alcohol from being poured in your mouth.

This is, of course, preposterous. Only you can decide to pour it in there, and you have decided not to do that.

Parties are simple, IMO. I am rarely asked if I want a drink if I already have one. I keep my ginger ale topped up and no one asks if I want anything. If they do ask, "No, thank you" gets the job done.

Hang in there , you'll be fine!

EndGameNYC

Hi Marie.

You're doing just fine. Use the momentum that comes with the support you've gotten here to get through this weekend. If you set your mind to it, you might just have a good time without drinking. Focus on what you can bring to these events, rather than on feeling deprived or left out because you're not drinking.

Look forward to feeling great because you didn't drink, and then reporting back here on how you did it and how things went.

Very few people manage to achieve sobriety on their own, so I always suggest that people look for face to face support.

Today is always a great day to stop.

marie1973

Thanks for the support and confidence that I can make it through the weekend. I do know that I can do it even if it means going home early, my husband isn't big on staying out late anyway, usually its me begging to stay out "just a little longer".

My sobriety plan isn't really in place yet, this past weekend was my breaking point, which I'm planning on making a post on asking for some advice on, I've stayed sober the last three days because I was afraid to drink, knowing I would over indulge, my nerves where shot from this weekends events and I pretty much said to myself :NO MORE. Done. I need to make a plan that I can stick with and is realistic, just haven't gotten there yet, but my wheels are turning and my ears are open.

heath480

Welcome to SR Marie.

I identify with how you feel,I was a Nurse and drank like you.Unfortunately for myself and my family my drinking got worse and worse,the job went and my house went,the family went,still I drank.

The denial of my Alcoholism was immense,even when people called me an Alcoholic I didn't see it.

Good news that you realise you are an Alcoholic and plan to do something about it,it means staying away from the first drink whatever happens.It is hard in the early days but so worthwhile.

Wishing you well.

KateL

It is great that you have the insight to do all this before you lose everything. I wish I had done it. I was lucky and got my life back, but I was a late developer well done coming here and thinking about doing something positive.!!!