Hevyn

(Duplicate post)

Dee74

All I can suggest is you set yourself a reasonable limit to drink daily weekly or whatever.

Err on the conservative side to test yourself out. According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, moderate alcohol consumption is defined up to 2 drinks per day for men. They also suggest you don't drink every day.

If you can consistently stick to that, great....if not, or if even the idea seems laughable, then you'll have to consider that maybe you have a problem?

D

johnny22

@Dee74. All I want to get back to is the point where alcohol was never on my mind. And then there was an occasion where I drank moderately. And then it never crossed my mind again.

ChillySupport

For me it's 100% abstinence from everything. A drug is a drug is a drug. That also means no "social/normal" drinking. A little is good and more is always better. That's how my mind as an alcoholic works. I went one month without drinking to prove to myself I didn't have a problem. Next time I picked up I went right back to daily use. The alcoholic brain goes right back every time. The fix is 100% sobriety. Can't just do something else either because that new drug will just trade the use of alcohol and become a new problem. I know it is so frustrating to see people that can just go out on a weekend and drink then not think about it until another event or party or something like that. And knowing that you used to be like that makes it even more upsetting. Once my drinking got really bad and I accepted that I was an alcoholic and understood what that really meant, there was no going back... for life. Jonny, I'm only one month sober so the struggles, triggers, all that is new to me too. It's still really hard and I couldn't do it on my own. Use the sober community to help give you motivation, support and tip/tricks during recovery. Internet, AA meetings, NA meetings, etc. Everything helps. First step is recognizing you have a problem so you're on the right path. Good luck.

suki44883

You must be willing to accept the possibility that you can't go back. A cucumber can never again be a pickle; a raisin can never again be a grape. That may sound silly, but once the line has been crossed, it cannot be uncrossed.

If you want to quit drinking, you'll find a lot of support here.

LadyBlue0527

johnny22, you just recited the wish of probably almost 100% of the people on this board who have quit drinking.

I sincerely hope that you find your way because the road to figuring out that you can't drink like a normal person pretty much sucks.

newme2day

I think once you have crossed that line there is no going back. I tried moderation. It worked for awhile but the old drinking habits sneak right back in there. But you have to decide for yourself. I am very new at sobriety. It has taken me 20 years to realize there is no such thing as moderation for me. Good luck to you.

sharon801

i tried a few times to just have the one drink but as most would agree i think one drink and your right back to before and just dont no when to stop i have been sober for 8 days now and have found so much support on this site good luck and dont give up trying to stop

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome SR, johnny22! I hate so pile on but agree with the above posters. Once you reach the point of having a real problem with alcohol it may be impossible to go back. Nothing can ever unboil or unscramble an egg, and once problem drinking reaches a certain point it's pretty hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Wine was also my great love. I'm a chef and a [former] wine snob. My favorites were generally reds, and nothing was better to me than a really good Cab. If I drank whites without food they had to be dry whites. By the time I quit I was drinking three bottles a night, seven nights a week, 365 days a year. It would have been unthinkable to not sit down with a glass of wine while checking my email or listening to music.

Also, like you, I spent years trying to get where I could enjoy wine like a normal person. I tried about everything, from limiting my purchases to starting late enough that I wouldn't have time to drink too much, using sleeping meds to knock me out before I could drink all three, etc.

Eventually I understood that not only could I not drink in moderation, I never truly wanted to. I always planned to drink myself into that happy stupor. As much as I love the taste of wine I will never be satisfied with just a couple of glasses.

Maybe it will work for you but it didn't work for me. I had to quit it altogether.

DoubleDragons

I successfully moderated this summer. I only drank on the weekends and I only drank 2-3 glasses of wine on any weekend day. And, I was MISERABLE. My weeks became countdown to when I could pop open the wine bottle and I was dissatisfied when I did drink, always wanting more. Give yourself a month of sobriety (which is nothing compared to the 27 years that I drank). That is what I did and I am now 2.5 months sober and hope never to look back!! Sobriety is a whole new lease on life. Good luck!!

ChillySupport

So I'm in outpatient treatment right now and am starting to accept that its a disease and not just a line that one crosses and can't return. For me it made it easier to accept that I can never drink again. Still sruggling to fully accept the "disease" thing but its starting to make sense as I have looked back over my progression. Jonny maybe this can give you some insight as to why you just can not stop... No matter how much will power we have.

alphaomega

Tried and tried and tried to moderate. All the while I was doing that, something had shifted ever so subtly, without my permission, and my hangovers went from hangovers to withdrawals. I loved my wine. The taste, the smell, the glasses. The buzz.

But the wine stopping loving me and started to kick my arse. I'd get MAYBE an hour of pleasure for what now was days of pain. Days. Like four. I'm not even kidding.

Now I don't get that hour of pleasure.

I get twenty four.

dirk626

Normal drinking is mostly a myth Johnny. I don't remember ever wanting to drink a drink or two. What is the point in that? People that drink a drink or two every now and then don't really care to drink, do they? I drank to feel the buzz, for the numbing effect, for the intoxication. If I want something cold and tasty I'll drink ice water or ice tea. I drank for the perceived benefit of being in an altered state of consciousness. Now I know there is no benefit. Would I still like to get sh** faced? Yeah, I would. But, I won't. Never again. There is no benefit to it. I can get buzzed up huffing paint or gasoline but I don't because I know that behavior is deranged. It's only because of the billions of dollars in advertising spent each year by the distillers that we think differently about booze.

83mama0f2

Try and take a break. Give it a good 30 days. No alcohol then try and be moderate again. If you struggle with it, I think you'll have your answer

EndGameNYC

There are reasons why you're talking about this in the past tense.

If you could return to a time that seems no longer to exist, you'd never have come here to ask the question.

What happens next is up to you.

IWillWin

Oh how I wish I could go back in time and stop before I crossed the invisible line into alcoholism. Unfortunately, I don't exactly know when that was. Everything was ok - and then it wasn't. Just like that. And I have found through experience that there is no going back to the fun times.

It sucks. I hate it. But it is my truth. I try to lie to myself sometimes with thoughts of moderate drinking but it never works. Acceptance of my plight is key to my success and I surrendered. Kicking and screaming, but I did.

I hope it is not to late for you and you are taking action before the line. I sure wish I did.

Hevyn

Johnny I hope you'll come back and talk some more about your situation. We care about you.

JTBIV

Those days are over, Johnny.

KateL

Hope things are going well for you Johnny x