a question about sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 848
a question about sobriety
So I had a slip up last Thursday and have been sober since then. One of the things that makes me relapse all the time is rationalization that I'm doing well and I can drink.
My question is what are motivators to stay sober if everything in your life is doing great other than your booze problem?
I'm going to be making a ton of money here in a month or so doing radiological threat detection as a software engineer for the department of defense. I have a loving wife and a kid who is young. (there are obviously issues with my drinking that she said had to be taken care of)
I know this is a really dumb question to ask. I know its terrible for your health, drains your wallet, and is damaging to everyone. I dont know whether im looking for stories about how alcohol ruined someone's life or if I just need to hear that my reasons are sound.
I can't be the only person out there who has this psychological issue so if anyone has any advice or stories or anything that would be helpful that would be great.
I dont want to be criticized though as I AM sober.
My question is what are motivators to stay sober if everything in your life is doing great other than your booze problem?
I'm going to be making a ton of money here in a month or so doing radiological threat detection as a software engineer for the department of defense. I have a loving wife and a kid who is young. (there are obviously issues with my drinking that she said had to be taken care of)
I know this is a really dumb question to ask. I know its terrible for your health, drains your wallet, and is damaging to everyone. I dont know whether im looking for stories about how alcohol ruined someone's life or if I just need to hear that my reasons are sound.
I can't be the only person out there who has this psychological issue so if anyone has any advice or stories or anything that would be helpful that would be great.
I dont want to be criticized though as I AM sober.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Mine was health reasons, low productivity at work and awful hangovers in the morning, I couldn't have honestly said that everything in life was "doing great" as alcohol was affecting everything, and I only release that now.
But I know where you are coming from, after a few days sober I would have the same thoughts, but it wasn't true, relapsing every weekend, blacking out and feeling as bad as ever every sunday was not a way forward that I could continue with!
But I know where you are coming from, after a few days sober I would have the same thoughts, but it wasn't true, relapsing every weekend, blacking out and feeling as bad as ever every sunday was not a way forward that I could continue with!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
If you keep drinking it will get worse, I guarantee you. Your wife will get sick of it at the very least .
I lost a well paying job, totaled 3 cars and got three Duis. I don't look like the type to have been a jailbird . But that is where alcohol took me.
I went to AA and got a sponsor and worked the steps and actually stayed sober long enough to realize how awesome it is. I've been sober just over a year.
I lost a well paying job, totaled 3 cars and got three Duis. I don't look like the type to have been a jailbird . But that is where alcohol took me.
I went to AA and got a sponsor and worked the steps and actually stayed sober long enough to realize how awesome it is. I've been sober just over a year.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The booze problem will eventually become large enough that things won't be "going great" in the rest of your life. Some need to lose some of them before they realize it, some need to lose it all. You have an excellent opportunity to quit while you still have a loving family, a great job and good health.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
You sound like you have a lovely life and a great career which you want to hold on to. I was an actor and got blacklisted for turning up late/drunk and kind of lost all of that. Still, I do something different now and have hung onto it for dear life 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I am hight functioning, did not loose anything major etc.
But I know in my heart when I look in the mirror that I can be more the this.'
Sometimes to loose ourself is the reason to give it up.
But I know in my heart when I look in the mirror that I can be more the this.'
Sometimes to loose ourself is the reason to give it up.
Idiot!
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 556
Oh man! That sounds SO familiar.
But I kept going back and the problems just kept getting worse and worse.
Everything was hunky-dory for me. Skip forward 10 or so years from when I first started trying to stop and it was hell.
Lost business. Lost jobs, marriage break up, don't see my kids arrests etc.
It might not be like that for you now - but it's in the post!
I hope the sun keeps shining on you. I really do!
But I kept going back and the problems just kept getting worse and worse.
Everything was hunky-dory for me. Skip forward 10 or so years from when I first started trying to stop and it was hell.
Lost business. Lost jobs, marriage break up, don't see my kids arrests etc.
It might not be like that for you now - but it's in the post!
I hope the sun keeps shining on you. I really do!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
I've Seen The High Bottom And Low Bottom Get Sober And Die
Hi and Welcome!
I've seen anywhere from the guy who had a two car garage with 4 vehicles, houses, owned reality, to someone such as myself a low bottom who had somewhat everything I thought. I had a loving family, 4 children, a double garage, owned my own so called business. Didn't do much but didn't you know who I thought I was?
I started off as a weekend warrior is what I called it. I really started drinking heavier in my early 20's. A friend of mine who lived next door in a motel room, we would sit there and drink our coffee. But by God when it was 8am and the local convenient store opened we were there to buy each of us a quart of Budweiser. Than we would walk back, sit there hit a couple hits of pot and enjoy our days drinking and smoking them away....
Didn't have a so called real job, we would find odd jobs here and there. Nothing seemed to help. None of us can make a decision on when you want to jump from one side of the fence to the other. Matter of fact, even sober, there are times when I want to just say F*&K This Crap! Yet, I continue each day to stay sober and clean "To Thy Own Self Be True!"
We are the most selfish people in the world. That is the root of our problems. It isn't always about the drink or the drug.
Wishing you lots of Luck!
I've seen anywhere from the guy who had a two car garage with 4 vehicles, houses, owned reality, to someone such as myself a low bottom who had somewhat everything I thought. I had a loving family, 4 children, a double garage, owned my own so called business. Didn't do much but didn't you know who I thought I was?
I started off as a weekend warrior is what I called it. I really started drinking heavier in my early 20's. A friend of mine who lived next door in a motel room, we would sit there and drink our coffee. But by God when it was 8am and the local convenient store opened we were there to buy each of us a quart of Budweiser. Than we would walk back, sit there hit a couple hits of pot and enjoy our days drinking and smoking them away....
Didn't have a so called real job, we would find odd jobs here and there. Nothing seemed to help. None of us can make a decision on when you want to jump from one side of the fence to the other. Matter of fact, even sober, there are times when I want to just say F*&K This Crap! Yet, I continue each day to stay sober and clean "To Thy Own Self Be True!"
We are the most selfish people in the world. That is the root of our problems. It isn't always about the drink or the drug.
Wishing you lots of Luck!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by justinJustQuit 
Those are crazy replies. I'm doing ok physically, but emotionally I just keep wanting to go back to it. Its awful and its so sad that a drink has made me feel this way.
Don't get me wrong, I have relapsed before again again and again. But you don't have to go down that road!!
Lot's of good things here for you to think about. It only takes one drink to kill....
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by justinJustQuit
Lucky I totally relate to that last sentence. I can do so well, but if I take that first drink I'll be hammered. Its so crazy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by justinJustQuit
So I had a slip up last Thursday and have been sober since then. One of the things that makes me relapse all the time is rationalization that I'm doing well and I can drink.
You may want to reread the first post you made on this site:
"So, after getting blackout drunk every day with a fifth of vodka or more (with a few exceptions of course) for two years, (I was drinking daily before that, just not as much) I have made the decision to quit".
A person who drinks a fifth of vodka everyday for two years IS NOT a person who can drink with control.
Coming to terms with sobriety is hard. I don't have the exact answer; have you tried AA? Read any of the AA book? Or have you tried any other recovery program. They may help you realize that sobriety is your only sane option.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I am a recovering crack addict. At the height of my drug use I sold a book, was the star of a top grad program, and was moving ahead.
However, I was miserable and my relationships were shredded. Career success means little without the ability to enjoy it.
The only motivation I had for recovery was that I wanted to be happy and be comfortable with my friends and loved ones again. When I was honest with myself, that was motivation enough.
However, I was miserable and my relationships were shredded. Career success means little without the ability to enjoy it.
The only motivation I had for recovery was that I wanted to be happy and be comfortable with my friends and loved ones again. When I was honest with myself, that was motivation enough.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
"My question is what are motivators to stay sober if everything in your life is doing great other than your booze problem?"
Everything is great, except your booze problem. So that should be motivation enough to not go to the booze. There are a lot of people here who have played that game and lost... lost the wife, the kid, their job. Please heed this warning, do no play that game. If you could ever down a fifth of vodka, you need to pay attention to that.
I am not trying to be harsh. At all. It sounds like you have a life you are very happy with. Protect it. This may just be another crazy reply tho.
For me, occupying my time with other things is what keeps me from drinking. It is more work than drinking to feel good, but it feels better than any alcohol can make me feel.
Wait until you get that new job, and the stress of it. What are you going to do then? The DoD isn't going to want a hung over alky working on any of their programs.
Fix this now. If you can't on your own, seek help. A fifth of vodka a day is not a small drinking problem.
Everything is great, except your booze problem. So that should be motivation enough to not go to the booze. There are a lot of people here who have played that game and lost... lost the wife, the kid, their job. Please heed this warning, do no play that game. If you could ever down a fifth of vodka, you need to pay attention to that.
I am not trying to be harsh. At all. It sounds like you have a life you are very happy with. Protect it. This may just be another crazy reply tho.
For me, occupying my time with other things is what keeps me from drinking. It is more work than drinking to feel good, but it feels better than any alcohol can make me feel.
Wait until you get that new job, and the stress of it. What are you going to do then? The DoD isn't going to want a hung over alky working on any of their programs.
Fix this now. If you can't on your own, seek help. A fifth of vodka a day is not a small drinking problem.
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