anyistoomuch

That feeling that you are depriving yourself will pass - it's 1/4 physical (craving sugar I bet) and 3/4 missing out on the habit of it. Every time it comes on, eat something sweet. Gummy bears helped me. Also - reach out, go to meetings, keep being open about it.

Dee74

I struggled with that for a while...alcohol had nearly killed me - and I still thought I was deprived.

Give your sober life a chance . If you're like me, you've drunk for years - give a few months to sobriety and what that can offer.

I hope you'll discover that great love affair you had with booze was actually an abusive relationship and that, rather than depriving yourself, you're setting yourself free

D

azureseas

agh I hate those feelings
We use booze (or food or whatever our drug of choice is) to go somewhere else, emotionally and mentally
For me I found reading self help books by writers such a Eckhart Tolle and Geneen Roth helped me understand what was going on, the voice in the head, sitting with uncomfortable feelings, etc

SadPandaBear

Wow, I just wanted to say that the caring and support here is overwhelming. Thank you everyone! I've had so many (inner and outer) tantrums over these days of early sobriety. I've been beyond irritable and I cannot wait for it to pass.

Even though I am letting myself kind of eat whatever I want right now I am still feeling lighter and clothes are fitting better without the bloat from alcohol. My sleep is improving, bowels are back to normal and the headaches are fading. This is the start of day 9 for me.

I must admit I am very nervous of spending the weekend at my dad's place on the last weekend of this month. We are drinking buddies and I've never not drank around him. This is when the feelings of missing out on something are the most intense. I know that it's just a habit, ritual or tradition that I have the power to change. There are family Christmas obligations to tend to and I'm the out-of-towner but I'm thinking I should stay somewhere else instead of his place.

hokey

Probably a good idea Panda My obligations right now are to my sobriety ... really hard to prioritize like that with xmas right around the corner, but it's what I MUST do. I know there will be people that don't understand, but that is their problem to own, not mine.

freshstart57

It finally became overwhelming the long painful list of things I was depriving myself of by continuing to drink. You can make your own list of things that you are preventing yourself from doing by drinking, and it might help you if you do, SadPanda.

The whole concept of sobriety=deprivation is baloney, and it is only drinkers that believe it. I can see now that sobriety= freedom writ large. I am no longer trapped in my house, inside of larger and larger bottles of cheaper and cheaper vodka. I quit drinking, and I am free to become, and free to be.

Notmyrealname

I try to think about getting/keeping my actions in-line with my values and becoming the person I wish I was, and not letting my focus shrink to "ooh, going to get @#$%ed up tonight after work" -- so, long-term thinking and planning, not short-term crocodile-brain impulse drive stuff.

When you are working towards long-term goals your actions have meaning, they fit into a larger whole. They are fulfilling, as (albeit) small steps towards larger achievement. Kind of like each day of sobriety -- by itself, it's just today, but pile enough "just today"s on top of each other and you're making real progress. And once you're invested in these long-term goals the opportunity cost of drinking becomes much too high -- you don't think about drinking as fun, you think about how it would derail your progress and destroy everything you've been working for.

Maybe that's what the normies think about? I don't really know..

girlsearching

I know this is probably going to sound really selfish, but I have rewarded myself with a new pair of jeans and some warm winter boots. I still like the other ideas too...candy, latte, bath, etc. But I put on my new duds and it made me feel like a "newer" me and it felt good to look good and be sober. I'm not going to over do this and become addicted to shopping, but I did reward myself and it made me feel better. AND I would have spent that on booze over the last 20 days but now I have something to show for it.

Dee74

I had a dad drinking tradition too (he's a normal drinker).
He was a little put out I think when the tradition ended but I think he gets it now.

I'm sure your dad will too - they want us to be happy and healthy

D