Showing up
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Showing up
I went Christmas shopping last night. I always rather deplored that event as it cut into my drinking/hanging/anxiety time. I'm struggling with cravings as of late so what better way to obliterate that than spending gobs of money on credit cards for items that won't be remembered two days later ? I jest (notreally).
This year, dare I say, feels a smidge different though. I have never looked forward to the holiday season before. And the irony is that all along I thought I was doing it right. Stressed out and sleep deprived and over indulged was what I had convinced myself this month was all about. But, sober ? Wow. It's actually....fun ?
My daughter and I had an absolute blast buying fun little cheapo gifts and wrapping them in extraordinarily beautiful trimmings. We sang Christmas songs and parlayed the excursion into a little pamper time, peppering in a pedicure and massage. With my mini me. There was laughter and arms crooked together, and a tea break. I'm even eyeing a Kitchenaid mixer as we might even embark on our first try at Christmas cookies.
I even decorated the damn house. Sober. Christmas Trees don't fall over naturally the night after they were put up ? Apparently when you put the screws in the trunk right the first time, the ghost of Christmas Armageddon bypasses your house in search of the drunky parents that didn't.
Huh. Who knew.
Today will be even more sober magic. I'm taking three of my god sons to Medieval Times for their first time. I can't wait to see their little eyes light up from all the pomp and circumstance. Last year this time, on a Sunday morning I would be licking my wounds from the drunken fiasco that occurred the night before. Trying to convince myself that those 2 bottles of wine while wrapping, that resulted in a vicious and relentless hangover (for days) was deserving because, Damn it, I AM STRESSED.
But this morning, I'm calm. And giddy with excitement. And today feels full of possibilities. And hope. I can make plans and actually show up. Today, only because I am sober , I can be the mom I always wanted to be...
....and the fairy Godmother.
This year, dare I say, feels a smidge different though. I have never looked forward to the holiday season before. And the irony is that all along I thought I was doing it right. Stressed out and sleep deprived and over indulged was what I had convinced myself this month was all about. But, sober ? Wow. It's actually....fun ?
My daughter and I had an absolute blast buying fun little cheapo gifts and wrapping them in extraordinarily beautiful trimmings. We sang Christmas songs and parlayed the excursion into a little pamper time, peppering in a pedicure and massage. With my mini me. There was laughter and arms crooked together, and a tea break. I'm even eyeing a Kitchenaid mixer as we might even embark on our first try at Christmas cookies.
I even decorated the damn house. Sober. Christmas Trees don't fall over naturally the night after they were put up ? Apparently when you put the screws in the trunk right the first time, the ghost of Christmas Armageddon bypasses your house in search of the drunky parents that didn't.
Huh. Who knew.
Today will be even more sober magic. I'm taking three of my god sons to Medieval Times for their first time. I can't wait to see their little eyes light up from all the pomp and circumstance. Last year this time, on a Sunday morning I would be licking my wounds from the drunken fiasco that occurred the night before. Trying to convince myself that those 2 bottles of wine while wrapping, that resulted in a vicious and relentless hangover (for days) was deserving because, Damn it, I AM STRESSED.
But this morning, I'm calm. And giddy with excitement. And today feels full of possibilities. And hope. I can make plans and actually show up. Today, only because I am sober , I can be the mom I always wanted to be...
....and the fairy Godmother.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ontario
Posts: 392
Thank you for this post AO! It reminds me that there are so many things to be grateful for when celebrating the holidays sober! It's a chance to experience true joy and to bring joy to others. I can't wait for my first sober Christmas since I began drinking, it is going to be wonderful! 
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