Originally Posted by jazzfish

I use the term "alcoholic" as shorthand for "addicted to alcohol". When I stop drinking and get through the withdrawal period, I am no longer addicted. I can be again, very quickly, by taking a drink.

Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob

brings up something that I shared in an AA meeting the other day
some in AA say "they are in recovery"
others in AA say "that they are recovered"

Originally Posted by Precious1

I've been sober 2 years, 4 months plus. I started my sobriety journey 5 years ago when I read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I have always been anxious, a worrier, ruminated about all the what ifs. I had a stressful time with family issues 20 years ago. This is when I started drinking to escape the stress. My father was a serious alcoholic and I knew I didn't want to end up like him so whenever I felt I was drinking too much, I'd rein it in. Until I read A New Earth, I thought I was okay. I began the process of knowing I choose my emotions, choose my thoughts and choose my actions. Once I "woke up" to this self awareness, there was no going back. A few years ago, I drank too much at a party and said things I regretted. Not horrible or train wreck life changing things but enough that I could not ignore it. I was self loathing, apologetic and wanted to change. I saw my doctor the next week and confessed I was drinking a bottle or more of wine a night and unable to stop once I had a glass. I never drank during the day. My family was not begging me to stop or get help. But there was this voice in my head of disappointment and awareness that this is not the path my life was supposed to be on. I wanted to live in the moment, learn to embrace everything life had to offer and get off the pity party. I told my husband that day that I was quitting drinking per my doctor's orders and that I wanted his support. That was it. It was that simple. I didn't go to AA. I had a bad taste in my mouth from another family member who had told me years prior that the Big Book and AA were the only way to recovery. My previous (bad) experience with zealot Christians sent a red flag that I didn't want anyone telling me there is only one way to get saved, either from alcohol or hell. I read many spiritual books, saw a Shaman for some inner healing that transformed my sense of being. I have felt fantastic and have ZERO desire to drink or spend time with people who are abusing alcohol. I have made new friends and focus on my family. But recently I was invited and attended my first AA meeting. I didn't fee like I fit in because I didn't want to identify myself as an alcoholic. Well, I wanted to say it to fit in but I don't proclaim that kind of negativity into my life. I wake up daily and say positive gratitude statements about who I am and what I am thankful for. Declaring I am diseased or sick just doesn't fit me. I am alcohol free is what I am. I am happy, healthy and totally alive. I struggle with spending. That is a real addiction. So I pulled out the Big Book that I inherited when my father died 25 years ago and started reading it.

I don't feel I have a disease. I don't feel I am in denial. If I delude myself into believing I can handle booze, I know I will fail. I have had deaths in my family, health crises and other major stresses since I quit alcohol and have not been tempted.

So my question is does one really need to declare they are an alcoholic if they don't feel that accurately defines them? I see how others are, like my father, who could not quit drinking on his own, ruined his life, ruined his children's lives, lost his career and finally quit when he went to jail. But that is't me at all. Not even close, How do you define problem drinking with a strong family history, which is how I would describe myself? I am a probable alcoholic if I drink. But I choose differently.

And I am doing many of the things AA advocates on my own, making amends, changing my thinking, owning my behavior and most importantly forgiving myself and living a better life. I started reading the Big Book and trying to apply what fits without rejecting it all because some of it works, while some it if doesn't.

Originally Posted by Precious1

I don't have an issue with labels as long as I feel they are accurate. For example, I am an ex-smoker. I am an ex-wife, step-mother, etc. Not necessarily labels I think are positive but they describe that part of me without explanation. I thought AA would be a good social outlet, and I could benefit, but I can't get past the introductions. I don't feel this is my ego. I have no problem admitting that I have an alcohol problem that has one solution, total abstinence. I'm working my program. I feel good about the path I've taken, but this AA sort of stopped me, the idea that these declarations need to be made in order to participate. I don't think we are all the same, though we have some things in common and can learn from one another. My bigger issue is when I talk to others, how I word my self description. Maybe I don't. Maybe I just do what I have been doing all along.

I see open minds here and a lot of positive support. I have plenty of hobbies and interests, but I find most social settings involve drinking and it would be nice to attend parties where that isn't the focus. Perhaps, I should join some sort of spiritual group/church that isn't religious. I have been avoiding taking a title as to what I am with friends and family because I don't want to make any declarations that I don't feel good about. I've said I don't drink any more because it was a problem and let them sort it out. But when I went to the AA meeting, I was told that this is how you introduce yourself. So I didn't go back.

Originally Posted by Inca

Then again, since it doesn't really matter, I would ask myself why I didn't like the term alcoholic. Is it because of the stigma?