linz33

really struggling tonight gone over 3 months and not thought about it once drank heavy for a year after bad separation n custody battle for my 5 year old son been ordered to stay with my mother for support for what was supposed to be 4weeks but over 3 months now and still not allowed to go back to my own home and routine 33 years old held my hands up and admitted my mistakes just don t know how long got to do this for and its driving me mad

Received

Hey linz.

Sorry you're feeling so down tonight but I'm really glad you reached out.

I know it can be frustrating when things don't go as we plan however it's awesome you have not drank in 3 months.

Stick around and let us know more about you.

digdug

Keep on posting, Linz. We're here for you.

Do you have anyone that you can call and just vent to? Sometimes it's nice to have real voice on the other end of the line.

LiaAc

Welcome Linz. Don't give up on your sobriety- however difficult it might get. Please share with us whenever you need to and want to, it will help you. We're going through similar things as you and we're here to listen.

linz33

social work have been involved for about five months though I have truthfully spoken to my G.P since my partner left last September and after months of waiting got an appointment with cpn substance abuse worker which I been truthful with too although social work commend my efforts I still have to live with my mother and have nearly lost my home due to someone reporting I abandoned the property,i have spoken with landlord and explained I have had to stay with my mother as tempory measure to get better social work were due to put in report yet they have not put it in and court has had to be cancelled 3 times frustrating as I have 3 children and my two eldest are staying with my ex husband who has been very supportive yet my youngest is staying with his father and has caused so much grief and stress throughout this although he has history of domestic abuse against me and has caused my drinking to get out of control social work don't seem to care and now finally report has finally gone through its full of mistakes hearsay and lies I have been prescribed antibuse which I take daily tho my cpn said she did not think I needed it as was more of a binge drinker when stressed and still going through control from ex partner
How long are you supposed to take antibuse tablets for????

linz33

plus my mother has drank frequently throughout me staying here which when I have said anything about this she has said she is an adult she has a life!!! so what am I?? 33 years old and living at home and been treated like a child this is crazy!!!!! are social services allowed to demand where you live?? and for how long they see fit for? as they haven't even had my mothers permission this isn't living in reality kids not in there normal environment or home :s how long until you prove yourself I can see point if I took illegal drugs but I drank a bit much for a year and now its like im being imprisoned and punished for asking for help and admitting I wasn't coping to well with situation I thought by admitting and asking for help it was the right thing to do! I go to AA meetings weekly have regular contact with my G.P weekly meetings cpn plus womans aid worker to help me come to terms with abusive and controlling relationship I was in for 6 years he left me for a 22year old and still in relationship with her yet still tries to control me now I have been sober he has tried everything he can to get me to relapse its a joke!!!!

linz33

feel totally humiliated tonight as it was my two oldest friends birthday and have spent it with them every year for past ten years it was arranged we were all to go for meal and later for drinks although mine would be soft of course which has not been a problem at all all my friends have been very supportive and have asked how i am feeling having extra playdays with kids etc felt bad that I hid i wasn't coping too well and been hiding away at home by myself i was allowed an hour tonight and had to be back by 9pm my daughters out at youth club till 9.30pm while my mother comes home around eleven drunk and i am one with curfew!!!
haven't been able to sleep atall

linz33

first time in 3 months i can honestly say im so angry i could have taken a drink!!!! instead i chucked out empty bottles of drink in house not mine may i add and done all housework to taske my mind off it and channel my negative thoughts going to be tired today but will have to keep going for kids sake that's all that matters to me is that one day they will think i made mistakes i am only human at least i have taken steps to change for the better for us as a family! i have been writing journal daily throughout recovery and that has helped a lot plus friends at AA huge support and weight feels like been lifted knowing your not the only one that has struggled with cunning alcohol
doesn't take long before it becomes coping mechanism end of stressful day

Inca

Glad you found a way to cope without drinking. When I'm having a hard time dealing with life, I know I have to do double the recovery work to get me back to a "normal" state. Step up the meetings, pray, talk with people....

As for your Antabuse question, I was on it for a few months and it worked for awhile but then I relapsed because I wasn't working a good program and was using the Antabuse as a crutch. Eventually the alcohol won when I forgot to take the pill for a couple of days. It was good to give me a head start on being sober but working a good program works much better for me in the long run.

liss74

I admire you I pray this will pass soon and wish you peace and you are still sober I needed to read this some of us don't know how good we have it best of luck I think you are doing awesome xxxxxx

mecanix

linz,

Thinking about the past or thinking about the future used to drive me potty today . One day at a time is how i take life now, Take care

Bestwishes, m

KateL

Sounds like you have been given a bum deal. But be patient and all will work out. Bureaucrats are forever complaining about their workload and are probably just behind. It does suck but you are sober and that will, of course, be in your favour with the eventual outcome. Glad you didn't drink because that would have set you back again. It seems crazy that your kids have been handed over to the care of people with their own dysfunctions. It's mad and must be driving you up the wall. But I suppose, at least they are not with strangers or in foster care. Stay sober and wait it out. There is no reason why you shouldn't have your kids back once all the paperwork is up to date. It is frustrating but just give it a little more time. Time is on your side xxxx good luck!!

ImperfectlyMe

I'm so sorry for your situation. I know you know drinking isn't going to help the mess you're in. All it can do it push you further into muddy waters.

I'm right around your age and have two children, I know your circumstances would crush me so I really feel for you!

My advise is to get super proactive! Be your own advocate. I'm not sure where you're located or how your system works. But I would keep record of everything your doing and keep constant contact with your case worker. Call them everyday if you have to show them that your doing more then just following orders. There has to be an expiration here. I hope you can be at peace soon for you and your children!

HeadLump

Ah, Linz! I have no words of wisdom for you, but just wanted to send you a hug and to congratulate you on achieving three months in extremely difficult circumstances. Thinking of you xx

Nighthawk8820

3 months is nothing. One day you will look back on all of this as a memory and a price you paid to get your life back on track. hang in there.