Trying to make myself better
BW1113
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Florence
Posts: 1
Trying to make myself better
Hi, I stumbled on this website and have been reading the posts all day, and realized there are so many people going through the struggles that I have been going through for years!! Here is my story, I am an alcoholic, I have been a heavy drinker for about 6yrs. I guess it started years before that, binge drinking and parting on the weekends, with my ex husband and friends, and I guess it spiraled from there. I became pregnant, I was so happy, because my biggest dream in my life was to be a mom! I had a miscarriage, and my dreams just crumbled. My husband still wanted to party and so I just went along and partied with him, when all I wanted was to have a family. After 2 yrs. I went through a divorce and still kept drinking. I have now been married to a wonderful guy for 4 yrs., and through all of the yrs. we have been together, I still continue to drink. (about a quarter to a half a bottle of vodka a night) About a year and a half ago, my stepson shot himself in our condo, (he was only 14yrs old!) He was the sweetest kid, we had no idea why he took his life! No signs! No nothing! That just made my drinking worse. I guess you can call me a "functioning" alcoholic, I am never hungover, always up early and to work on time, I do try to hide it from my husband and family, but they know when I am drinking because I am a totally different person. I don't drink to the point to where I am hammered, just buzzed, (but that doesn't matter, an alcoholic is an alcoholic) I am a people pleaser and try to make everyone else around me happy, but I guess I am not focusing enough on making myself happy. I recently started fearing that I was dying because of liver problems, even though I have no symptoms, so I went to urgent care and they did some blood work and everything was ok. That was a wake up call! I thank God that nothing is wrong! I went 5wks without drinking, and felt awesome, but I relapsed on Sat, because it was my Birthday and thought "one drink won't hurt me, it's my birthday anyway" One drink led to another. I felt like crap after that and have been sober for 6 days now. I really want to make myself better!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
You are right to want to make yourself better. You deserve to feel as good as you possibly can and believe me that will not happen whilst we put poison into our bodies. You have proved you can live without alcohol so maybe now is the time to press on with your hopes. Welcome to the site and hope you keep us posted on your progress.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I am glad you are here. There came a time that I tried to fix myself as well. I learned I cannot do it alone. I am happy you came here for support and encouragement.
It gets better. Hang in there and congrats on 6 days
It gets better. Hang in there and congrats on 6 days
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
