JBDS1281

Had anybody ever felt like they just don't want to be sober? I don't mean cravings just the feeling like you don't want to. Lately I've been feeling like I just don't wanna be sober. It's been 9 months now and I miss it. It kinda feels like am old freind I haven't seen forever if that Maggies any sense. I know I can't drink and I won't I just can't shake that feeling like somethings missing

Dee74

I think most of us have experienced that....we feel a sense of loss and we instinctively think of alcohol as a solution. We even forget the horrors that bought us here.

For me I was sober, but I hadn't really done much to put the fun and enjoyment back into my life , or to 'fill that hole' as you put it.

Instead of romanticising drinking as a possible solution...what can you do to make your life more like you want it to be JBDS1281?

newme2day

I felt like that the last time i abstained from alcohol. I didnt drink for about a year and really missed it or so i thought. This time around i am focusing on all the negatives of alcohol and all the positives of sobriety. I am enjoying the everyday simple things this time around. When i drink i constantly obsess about when i can make time to sneak away for a drink. It got to be more of a hassle than anything else. When you start to think about drinking again think about it for what it really was, try not to glorify it. You quit for a reason. Keep that in the forefront when you start to entertain drinking again.

KateL

It will get better I promise x

MIRecovery

So you miss your hands shaking so bad you can not get the key in the ignition?

This is what you have to look forward to if you go back to your old friend

JBDS1281

I started hunting alot more than wheni was drinking which definitely filled a big hole I used to be very passionate about it until the booze took over theni was usually to sick to enjoy it.focusing on that definitely helps. And your right looking back at the bad times definitely helps alot to. And no the last thing I want is to experience the shakes and that misery again.

digdug

I totally understand that feeling of something "missing."

For me personally, I've been able to fill that with social stuff with other sober people. I had spent the past three years alone and isolated with my alcohol. I had no friends. At the time, I had blamed it on being an introvert. But the truth is, it was just an excuse to avoid people and get wasted without people having to see me spiral out of control.

So in sobriety, I pushed through that initial phase of being uncomfortable and have really made some great sober friends who I see and talk to on a regular basis. That whole schtick of, "I hate people and I'm a loner" was such BS. I really do like the company of others, especially people who are supportive and understand me. Being around other recovering alcoholics doing fun things doesn't make me feel like I'm missing a damn thing. That hole has shrunk dramatically.

JBDS1281

You know dig dug that's one thingi don't have alot of is freinds I see on the regular. I don't really spend alot of time with people outside of my house.my only hunting partner is my uncle and he's a big drinker.

digdug

9 months ago, I had no friends. None.

I've found some great friends through AA, but there are so many ways to meet sober people to hang out with. Do you know almost 50% of the US adult population didn't have a drink last year? I know it seems like everyone and their mother is a big drinker, but the fact is, that's just not true.

Maybe try some volunteering. Find a sober hunting group. I'm sure there have to be some hunters in at your local AA meetings.

Fill that hole in your heart with meaningful relationships. You've lost a relationship with alcohol. Now you're pining over it like an ex-gf. You remember the good times but the bad times conveniently fall by the waist side.

geiser

Well I know that feeling well. Even though I slipped and slided home through days that were OK and some not. I had to get a hold of my emotional self with my logical real self. Leave where I was in life toy with leaving for good then come back and take a solid look at where I was. My current partner is not my ideal choice I struggled with that and miss times when neither of us were sober, but I found support and acceptance during times that I have not been well physically and my own resolve that my health has been a struggle for many years without alcohol. I've lost relationships because it is hard being with a sick person. When I'm not sober I generally don't feel sick. . .life of the party soon reality sets in. If I am hungover which I never used to get often can't tell what's pain or alcohol. Same with emotions. Had a major trigger tonight and didn't feel like being sober but I know too well the consequenses. Hang tough.:-)

liss74

Yeah I was 9 mths nearly 10 wanted to be normal at a Xmas party I picked up and nearly died later that night ended up In hospital xxxx stay strong being honest and writing this is good hope it helps it's ugly out there 9 mths of just arresting this disease and it was like wild fire when I picked up be careful xxx

MythOfSisyphus

I feel a little of that when I'm bored. It was just reflex for me to reach for a drink when I had nothing else to do. Now when I feel that it just takes a moment for my rational brain to slam the door on the AV.

ImperfectlyMe

JBD first congrats on 9 months
I'm a month behind you, and from time to time I experience exactly what your saying. It's nothing like an early craving more of a longing for something I'm missing. It feels a lot like an emptiness inside. Wait...... That's exactly what it is. For me I take a look around and see what's lacking in my life, change things up and us usually these feeling subside quite quickly. They NEVER LAST FOREVER, there's a peak for every valley

hiddenzebra

I went about 6 months sober once, by far the longest stretch ever since my romance with alcohol began. It's hard to say how strong the cravings were, as the term "alcoholic" wasn't yet a term fully embraced by me. I know the mental and physical benefits were awesome, and for the first time in my life I felt brief periods of happiness. Falling off the wagon was a real bummer. My new start at life went right back to daily drinking and all the missed possibilities and failed endeavors that come with it.

Nine months is awesome. I've only lasted about six before; while I'm happy about that, it's frustrating having to start all over again. Just my thoughts.

pattyj

I am at almost 8 months. While I don't romanticize about drinking because I know what it leads to, I have felt that something is missing in my life as well. So many hours and days were spent on drinking and recovering. I now feel like I have nothing to do and am bored. I have put my time and energy in seeking out hobbies that I have never really stuck to, I am starting to volunteer at PAWS (an animal shelter) and I have spent major quality time with my nephews. Those make me feel good about myself as well as uses my time constructively.

I know that I have to work my program every day and that I need to put my sobriety first. I know that I almost died while drinking. But I want to get back to living my life and not be so focused on AA and not drinking. I have begun to start enjoying other interests while at the same time working my steps and program. I think it's all about balance and being sober finally lets us achieve that goal.

courage2

When I first quit I felt like they say an amputee feels about the missing limb -- like something that made me whole was gone, and I could physically feel its absence.

Now at almost a year, not so much any more. Sometimes if I have some free time alone, which I still mostly avoid because that's a big trigger for me as a mostly solitary drinker, I find myself thinking -- what would I normally be doing with this time? Oh yeah, being drunk, huh, well not today. Usually I'm more engaged with the world and don't notice what I'm missing.

Dee's right that finding things you like to engage your body and mind is really important. ("Correct as usual, King Friday" says Mr. Rogers )

I had a hard time at 9 months. It was like I was recovered enough to think, but still too messed up to have any idea what to think about. So I just moped and felt lousy. Suddenly it seems to have changed. I wish you the same (& selfishly, I hope my own upswing lasts a while).

JBDS1281

it's a weird feeling to cause some days I don't feel that all and other daysi feel like that all day and the days I feel like that are days that I'm not and grumpy. I'm glad to hear it's a normal thing its definitely a big help knowing it will eventually stop.