I think my husband is using cocaine
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We did some lay marriage counseling at the church, but his manipulation made it a fruitless task. I had seen a professional therapist several times with him, and after a while I was the only one going. The professional did tell me when it was just me that for several sessions he almost had her fooled into thinking it really was mostly me, but she caught on to him after a few private sessions with him. He's really good at manipulation and seeming like the 'good guy'.
I'm not completely homebound. I can drive and leave when I want, but I have a 24/7 high pain condition that pretty much keeps me home.
I really liked what you said, EndGameNYC. And I'll tell you why. Last night, after writing all you wonderful people, I laid down to rest and pray and think. My AlAnon background started coming back to me and I dredged out my old "One Day at a Time" book and blew the dust off (lol). I meditated and prayed, and ya know what? That's EXACTLY the thoughts more or less I came up with. I realized, "OMG you are back to OBSESSING again! You LEARNED this in Alanon in your prior marriage to an alcoholic! YOU CANNOT FIX HIM, you have to work on you." Anyway, so yeah, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE what he's doing? He's going to do it anyway, whether I know or not. I was so good with all my years of AlAnon during a marriage to an alcoholic I had totally stopped watching him at all and what a relief it was. If I'm supposed to know anything, my 'higher power' (God in my case) will allow that to happen. I was totally obsessed, and thank you all so much for all your help. Letting go and letting God now. I still have to do any footwork needed of course, but with God at the helm it will be a lot easier. And LETTING GO is already a huge load off.
I'm not completely homebound. I can drive and leave when I want, but I have a 24/7 high pain condition that pretty much keeps me home.
I really liked what you said, EndGameNYC. And I'll tell you why. Last night, after writing all you wonderful people, I laid down to rest and pray and think. My AlAnon background started coming back to me and I dredged out my old "One Day at a Time" book and blew the dust off (lol). I meditated and prayed, and ya know what? That's EXACTLY the thoughts more or less I came up with. I realized, "OMG you are back to OBSESSING again! You LEARNED this in Alanon in your prior marriage to an alcoholic! YOU CANNOT FIX HIM, you have to work on you." Anyway, so yeah, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE what he's doing? He's going to do it anyway, whether I know or not. I was so good with all my years of AlAnon during a marriage to an alcoholic I had totally stopped watching him at all and what a relief it was. If I'm supposed to know anything, my 'higher power' (God in my case) will allow that to happen. I was totally obsessed, and thank you all so much for all your help. Letting go and letting God now. I still have to do any footwork needed of course, but with God at the helm it will be a lot easier. And LETTING GO is already a huge load off.
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The residue in this baggy is whitish in color though and seems stuck to the bag. Nearby this was this strange metal pin-like thing that tapers around in a circle at one end and then goes straight to a pointy end. I certainly hope he isn't, but from the description you gave, please take control of your money, hide all your jewelry and valuable possessions, and never let him use your car. Rootin for ya. 
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Originally Posted by Mikie9 
Either way, stay strong. Live for you and what you need. It is all any of us have that matters.
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neferkamichael, I do not let him use my car and I generally hide the keys (although sometimes I forget). I also use the excuse that it has disabled plates and technically he's not supposed to drive it unless I'm in it, per DMV. Doesn't always work though, if his car breaks down he DEMANDS my car so he can get to work and since I rarely drive, it's pretty hard to say no and have him not go to work and get paid. I've told him to rent a car before, but it never works, he demands the car. It's registered only in my name, I bought and paid for it myself.
That pointy thing is weird, I can't imagine what it's purpose is, but there have been several times I've found these in the dryer, when his clothes are being washed/dried. I asked him once about them, but he just had no response whatsoever.
My wedding ring from my prior marriage did disappear quite some time ago. It was in my jewelry box for years and it disappeared. That was at one point when he 'packed his bags' and left for a few days. I plan to get a large, heavy, locking safe (fingerprint lock would be good) and will be going shopping with my son next week at Costco. Of course whenever he sees it, he's gonna scream, saying he wants access to it also, but I'll deal with that later.
At any rate, like I said above, yes it's time to work on ME and also my own security and protection. I do have my own checking account and I've directed disability to make direct deposits in there. So at least MY money is safe. I will continue to prepare for the end I know is coming someday, clearning out things for when I may have to move and so on, and also concentrating on my OWN recovery once again. It's good to be aware and take action where necessary, but I've become 'obsessed'.
P.S.: I do have a safety deposit box at the bank too. I'll put a few things in there as well.
That pointy thing is weird, I can't imagine what it's purpose is, but there have been several times I've found these in the dryer, when his clothes are being washed/dried. I asked him once about them, but he just had no response whatsoever.
My wedding ring from my prior marriage did disappear quite some time ago. It was in my jewelry box for years and it disappeared. That was at one point when he 'packed his bags' and left for a few days. I plan to get a large, heavy, locking safe (fingerprint lock would be good) and will be going shopping with my son next week at Costco. Of course whenever he sees it, he's gonna scream, saying he wants access to it also, but I'll deal with that later.
At any rate, like I said above, yes it's time to work on ME and also my own security and protection. I do have my own checking account and I've directed disability to make direct deposits in there. So at least MY money is safe. I will continue to prepare for the end I know is coming someday, clearning out things for when I may have to move and so on, and also concentrating on my OWN recovery once again. It's good to be aware and take action where necessary, but I've become 'obsessed'.
P.S.: I do have a safety deposit box at the bank too. I'll put a few things in there as well.
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Originally Posted by AngieMarie
Yes there are many nights when he's not working where he'll be up all night. He smokes pot to go to sleep.
But then there are times when he'll sleep all day.
I have noticed that you are having these problems
might be best for you to see your doctor ??
his reactions to this proposal should tell a lot
setting a little footwork
MM
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I also use the excuse that it has disabled plates and technically he's not supposed to drive it unless I'm in it, per DMV. he DEMANDS my car. AngieMarie. There is a thread right now about to teenagers charged with crimes because they let their friend drive away drunk and she killed herself. It could happen to you, please believe it. Demands "your" car?, big red flag there. The little pointy is the tool he uses to snort cocaine. Also, don't think he won't trade your car for one of those little bags either. You are already missing a wedding ring, and the odds are he hooked it, or traded it for cocaine. Of course I wish the best for you and your family, so please separate your financial situation from his permanently. Rootin for ya.
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I've googled all over the place to find this weird tool thing, but I can't find it. I did see several other tools though and realized, well yeah, he could be using this I guess, even though I don't see it anywhere. He also has some kind of bullet shaped thing in his robe pocket that I think he uses to smoke pot in. It does smell a bit like pot. But I've seen similar devices in the cocaine tools also. I guess it only takes a little bit of powder and he just needs something to get it onto and stick up his nose and snort it in. This would definitely explain why every time he goes out and comes back in, he sneezes 3-4 x's. I used to think it was just he was allergic to pot and I'd tell him, 'you shouldn't smoke that stuff you're obviously allergic to it' and he laughed demeaningly. Now I think I know why, it's because he knows he's fooling me and I'm an idiot. Well, sorry to him, but I have absolutely NO experience with drugs of any kind. I guess I lived a pretty sheltered life, but then again, I'm also clean and always have been of drugs. So thank God for that. Now that I've let go of 'him' in a sense of trying to fix him, I'm still really curious about this though. Maybe that 'tool' has something to do with the other thing, the bullet shaped thing. My son told me that other thing is probably a thing to smoke pot in though. He's been more exposed to stuff like that than I am, so it never occurred to me that it could maybe be being used for coke too?
Yes, I'm getting my act together and no he will NOT drive my car. Technically, though, in California, as long as we're married, everything is community property, so even his own car (in his name) I suppose I could get sued for if he got in an accident. He does drive weird and I haven't even rode with him for at least a year now. I just make excuses why I can't go. We even went to a wedding about 60 miles away from home, and I drove my own car and followed him. The guy drives like a drunk, car all over the lane, I am AMAZED he's NEVER gotten even a pull-over, let alone a ticket!
This is scaring me, but I'm not going to let it. I'm so glad for all the help. I'm getting my head on straight and so appreciative of all the input. I know that no one is a psychologist or anything here and we are all here to give support. i already just love you all. Just like I felt in a real Alanon meeting. Which I'm going to find out here, and when my pain levels are low enough I WILL GO. I wish the One Day at a Time book came on Kindle, I could enlarge the print and it would be so easy to read. I'm always at my laptop in bed. But at least I have the print one :-)...wow I got that back around 1979 or so I think. I was married to an alcoholic for 17 years and about half that time I was in Alanon. Best time of my life with all those wonderful people.
Yes, I'm getting my act together and no he will NOT drive my car. Technically, though, in California, as long as we're married, everything is community property, so even his own car (in his name) I suppose I could get sued for if he got in an accident. He does drive weird and I haven't even rode with him for at least a year now. I just make excuses why I can't go. We even went to a wedding about 60 miles away from home, and I drove my own car and followed him. The guy drives like a drunk, car all over the lane, I am AMAZED he's NEVER gotten even a pull-over, let alone a ticket!
This is scaring me, but I'm not going to let it. I'm so glad for all the help. I'm getting my head on straight and so appreciative of all the input. I know that no one is a psychologist or anything here and we are all here to give support. i already just love you all. Just like I felt in a real Alanon meeting. Which I'm going to find out here, and when my pain levels are low enough I WILL GO. I wish the One Day at a Time book came on Kindle, I could enlarge the print and it would be so easy to read. I'm always at my laptop in bed. But at least I have the print one :-)...wow I got that back around 1979 or so I think. I was married to an alcoholic for 17 years and about half that time I was in Alanon. Best time of my life with all those wonderful people.
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I am sorry 
My husband was a cokehead - he has been clean for six years though, so all that was before we got back together. From what he told me, the nose can become very sensitive if he is snorting coke, and (this is gross) you produce a lot of mucus. I remember him telling me that.
I agree with the others though - could be meth. But if I were you I would do a comprehensive search when he is gone to see what you turn up.
My husband was a cokehead - he has been clean for six years though, so all that was before we got back together. From what he told me, the nose can become very sensitive if he is snorting coke, and (this is gross) you produce a lot of mucus. I remember him telling me that. I agree with the others though - could be meth. But if I were you I would do a comprehensive search when he is gone to see what you turn up.
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He's gone all day today off with some friends to a game. So I can do some searching. He has his own room (office sort of) where is he has most of his clothes and things, computer, etc. I'm so paranoid, I'm afraid he has a camera in there, lol, but I'll do some checking. There are so MANY boxes and junk and clutter in there, I've gone in there before to look and just got exasperated, it's like a needle in a haystack scenario. I did manage to lift the mattress up, nothing there. I found some kind of 'joint' in his drawer, but it looks like he got that from a store (he has a 'medical marijuana' license, which is so ez to get in this state it's ridiculous, just pay them $100 bucks and claim you can't sleep or whatever and you've got it). His desk is just RIDDLED with papers and stuff all over the place, you can't even see the desk. And there are boxes upon boxes of stuff on the top shelf of his closet, which will be hard for me to get down and put back up the way they were. Trust me, he notices ANYTHING that might be out of place, I swear he has a photographic memory.
I think the meth thing may be possible, because his teeth (what's left of them other than crowns) have been a huge issue for about the last 2 years. Before that, he didn't seem to have this problem. He has gum disease, bone loss, teeth just 'falling out' and so on. And major procedures have been done to reconstruct his bones to hold in the teeth the dentist is trying to save. After that, then more posts (implants) will also be 'installed'. I have very healhy teeth, so I don't want to judge, my sis has had gum issues also and a couple implants, and I KNOW she is not on drugs. Dentist said it's her lifetime of smoking cigarettes that has effected her teeth. I dunno. My husband quit smoking (cigarettes) about a year ago. I was rather shocked, actually. He still eats sunflower seeds to this day as a replacement. But he's still smoking pot.
One day, he said to me something about we have to put the house in my name too (this should have been done long ago, but he likes the control...this is a LONG story I won't go into now). His words were "We have to put you on deed to the house, I could die any day". It was weird. He was complaining of chest pains also. Of course he never put me on deed (because he likes the power of owning the house), but at that time for some reason he was very afraid he was going to die, he sounded serious. Of course later, after I had it all set up, he refused to do it. He changes with the wind.
I'll see what I can find today, but I think he probably keeps things in his car. He hides his car keys from me, I've never been able to access it alone. EXCEPT when he went away for a few weeks to work, BUT he cleaned the car out before he left.
I'm not looking forward to his return today, as whenever he goes out with friends, he comes back in a nasty mood. Today is not a gambling day I don't think though, those days are the worst, if he loses (always) it's my fault because of 'my attitude' about it. If he wins (I think I've seen that maybe once in 10 years of knowing him), it's 'in spite of me'.
I think the meth thing may be possible, because his teeth (what's left of them other than crowns) have been a huge issue for about the last 2 years. Before that, he didn't seem to have this problem. He has gum disease, bone loss, teeth just 'falling out' and so on. And major procedures have been done to reconstruct his bones to hold in the teeth the dentist is trying to save. After that, then more posts (implants) will also be 'installed'. I have very healhy teeth, so I don't want to judge, my sis has had gum issues also and a couple implants, and I KNOW she is not on drugs. Dentist said it's her lifetime of smoking cigarettes that has effected her teeth. I dunno. My husband quit smoking (cigarettes) about a year ago. I was rather shocked, actually. He still eats sunflower seeds to this day as a replacement. But he's still smoking pot.
One day, he said to me something about we have to put the house in my name too (this should have been done long ago, but he likes the control...this is a LONG story I won't go into now). His words were "We have to put you on deed to the house, I could die any day". It was weird. He was complaining of chest pains also. Of course he never put me on deed (because he likes the power of owning the house), but at that time for some reason he was very afraid he was going to die, he sounded serious. Of course later, after I had it all set up, he refused to do it. He changes with the wind.
I'll see what I can find today, but I think he probably keeps things in his car. He hides his car keys from me, I've never been able to access it alone. EXCEPT when he went away for a few weeks to work, BUT he cleaned the car out before he left.
I'm not looking forward to his return today, as whenever he goes out with friends, he comes back in a nasty mood. Today is not a gambling day I don't think though, those days are the worst, if he loses (always) it's my fault because of 'my attitude' about it. If he wins (I think I've seen that maybe once in 10 years of knowing him), it's 'in spite of me'.
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YEAH overit263 AMEN TO THAT. Thanks for the wakeup call, you saved me a lot of frustration and time today, lol. And as he worsens he gets sloppier and sloppier anyway, someday, when I'm SUPPOSED to have the evidence right in front of me, it will happen. I read an article the other day that the WORST thing you can do is confront an addict (of meth or cocaine), and in fact it could be dangerous, so I need to just let it go and move on with my life, PREPARING for what I'm sure may come. I can't fix him. It's up to him. It's amazing how I still change with the wind and get obsessed again. Working my program and hopefully this will pass soon. It took me a long time to stop 'watching' my prior alcoholic husband, but I finally did, and it was a relief. I've just never dealt with the 'drug world' before, it's more frightening to me and I do become obsessed.
P.S.: I do MUCH appreciate all the support, tips and advice though, I'm learning a lot about this and that's good. Thank you EVERYONE!
P.S.: I do MUCH appreciate all the support, tips and advice though, I'm learning a lot about this and that's good. Thank you EVERYONE!
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Believe me, I understand going into digging mode! It's like you try to gather as much intel as possible...and then what good does it do you? It's all the same, using is using, no matter how much, how often, when where whatever. You have all of the evidence you need, now you need to formulate a plan on protecting yourself. I think we go back and forth because logically, it just doesn't make sense, but that's what happens when you aren't an addict and you can't wrap your brain around it. Now it's about self preservation because you want to keep your sanity. Confronting won't do anything because addicts lie. Inviting more lies into your brain will not do you any good. The addiction wants you to be confused and not firm, because that will allow you to be used some more letting the addict keep having sources to take from.
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Originally Posted by AngieMarie
I think my husband is using cocaine. But I don't know how to know for sure. I know all the 'signs' as I've researched it - rolled up dollar bills, powder residue on credit cards, things like that. But I've never found anything definitive like that (yet). He smokes pot regularly, I wonder if it can be mixed in with pot? I know NOTHING about cocaine and I've never even seen it in person.
These are the things I do see:
He's very thin, sometimes he'll manage to gain a little, but usually he is skin and bones, people notice it. Also he eats TONS OF SUGARY products...pepsi, cookies, cakes, etc. Enough that you'd think he'd be OVERweight, not underweight!
He has mood swings, but lately he's been more indifferent than anything else
Sometimes he'll go all day without eating, other times he's ravenous (which I've always attributed to the pot smoking) but he cannot ever gain weight. He's 6' tall and weighs about 140-145 typically.
He gets these really weird reddish/purplish large bruises/lesions on the front of his forearms for no apparent reason. He said they are just bruises and he bruises easily, but this is the ONLY place he gets those. They are so large and scary looking sometimes it really creeps me out.
More and more often he just seems like he's 'stupid' and says things that make no or little sense, forgets things he has said or done and acts like I'm the crazy one. I feel like his mind is not working right. Hard to explain.
He hides his pot, but the other day he left it in plain sight on the counter outside, and near the container of pot was a baggy. The baggy is what got me researching again and I found this site, coincidentally someone else had mentioned a baggy with 'residue' in it. This baggy has some kind of residue, but I don't know if it's just old and bent/messy or what, maybe he was storing his pot in it? I wish I could know what this 'residue' mentioned looks like or see a pic. The residue in this baggy is whitish in color though and seems stuck to the bag. Nearby this was this strange metal pin-like thing that tapers around in a circle at one end and then goes straight to a pointy end. It has some kind of dust or something on it. I have seen these lately laying around, and found them once or twice in my dryer when doing laundry. I had a dishwasher repair guy come out because my appliance was making weird noises, and he found one of these things in the motor area also. They just seem to be appearing everywhere. I have no idea what it is or if it could be related to cocaine use? I smelled the baggy and it does NOT smell like pot, but it had something in it I think.
Whenever he goes outside purportedly to take the dog out or sit in spa (which he does ALL THE TIME for just a few minutes at a time), he'll sneeze 3-4 x's after coming back in EVERY TIME. He takes the dog out for walks all of a sudden and generally they are REALLY short walks, not even worth it, I'm talking 1 minute or 2 at best. One time I went outside to watch him after he left, he saw me (he was already on his way back only about 30 seconds after leaving) and interrogated me as to why I was out there. I just said, "I was just watching the dog cuz he's so cute" and left it at that.
Oftentimes he goes to the bathroom a LOT during the day but isn't in there very long. He never used to even close the door, but now he does.
I've noticed times when all of a sudden he's super talkative, irritatingly so actually, but it doesn't last long. Also, the other day he went on one of his 'going outside' escapades, and then I heard the lawnmower running. He was mowing the lawn, at night, IN THE DARK.
Is there any kind of drug test I could get for at home that I could use without him knowing?
He's addicted to gambling, sex, pot, pornography and he HAS to have at least 1-2 beers a night (which is not a major issue, but he gets really upset if his beer is gone...I don't drink or do ANY of the other things). I was in AlAnon for several years with my first husband who was an alcoholic, but I'm dealing with much more than alcoholism I believe.
I'm rambling, but I've become obsessed with this. I'm afraid, but WHAT IF it IS 'just pot'. I do know he sometimes crashes to sleep all of a sudden after a burst of energy and he can sleep for hours on end in the middle of the day. He says he's 'catching up on sleep' from working the prior day.
Well I hope that starts a conversation. Please what can I do do prove to myself I'm not being paranoid (I do feel paranoid). He is and has been proven to be a what I call pathological liar also, and very manipulative. He lies so well it's hard not to believe him, even when I know he's LYING! I just need to know what I am dealing with...pot? He's smoked pot for decades. He did admit to using cocaine (and other drugs) 'years and years ago' but he said "I'm one of the lucky ones that could use it and never get addicted but I don't use it anymore."
Help please!
These are the things I do see:
He's very thin, sometimes he'll manage to gain a little, but usually he is skin and bones, people notice it. Also he eats TONS OF SUGARY products...pepsi, cookies, cakes, etc. Enough that you'd think he'd be OVERweight, not underweight!
He has mood swings, but lately he's been more indifferent than anything else
Sometimes he'll go all day without eating, other times he's ravenous (which I've always attributed to the pot smoking) but he cannot ever gain weight. He's 6' tall and weighs about 140-145 typically.
He gets these really weird reddish/purplish large bruises/lesions on the front of his forearms for no apparent reason. He said they are just bruises and he bruises easily, but this is the ONLY place he gets those. They are so large and scary looking sometimes it really creeps me out.
More and more often he just seems like he's 'stupid' and says things that make no or little sense, forgets things he has said or done and acts like I'm the crazy one. I feel like his mind is not working right. Hard to explain.
He hides his pot, but the other day he left it in plain sight on the counter outside, and near the container of pot was a baggy. The baggy is what got me researching again and I found this site, coincidentally someone else had mentioned a baggy with 'residue' in it. This baggy has some kind of residue, but I don't know if it's just old and bent/messy or what, maybe he was storing his pot in it? I wish I could know what this 'residue' mentioned looks like or see a pic. The residue in this baggy is whitish in color though and seems stuck to the bag. Nearby this was this strange metal pin-like thing that tapers around in a circle at one end and then goes straight to a pointy end. It has some kind of dust or something on it. I have seen these lately laying around, and found them once or twice in my dryer when doing laundry. I had a dishwasher repair guy come out because my appliance was making weird noises, and he found one of these things in the motor area also. They just seem to be appearing everywhere. I have no idea what it is or if it could be related to cocaine use? I smelled the baggy and it does NOT smell like pot, but it had something in it I think.
Whenever he goes outside purportedly to take the dog out or sit in spa (which he does ALL THE TIME for just a few minutes at a time), he'll sneeze 3-4 x's after coming back in EVERY TIME. He takes the dog out for walks all of a sudden and generally they are REALLY short walks, not even worth it, I'm talking 1 minute or 2 at best. One time I went outside to watch him after he left, he saw me (he was already on his way back only about 30 seconds after leaving) and interrogated me as to why I was out there. I just said, "I was just watching the dog cuz he's so cute" and left it at that.
Oftentimes he goes to the bathroom a LOT during the day but isn't in there very long. He never used to even close the door, but now he does.
I've noticed times when all of a sudden he's super talkative, irritatingly so actually, but it doesn't last long. Also, the other day he went on one of his 'going outside' escapades, and then I heard the lawnmower running. He was mowing the lawn, at night, IN THE DARK.
Is there any kind of drug test I could get for at home that I could use without him knowing?
He's addicted to gambling, sex, pot, pornography and he HAS to have at least 1-2 beers a night (which is not a major issue, but he gets really upset if his beer is gone...I don't drink or do ANY of the other things). I was in AlAnon for several years with my first husband who was an alcoholic, but I'm dealing with much more than alcoholism I believe.
I'm rambling, but I've become obsessed with this. I'm afraid, but WHAT IF it IS 'just pot'. I do know he sometimes crashes to sleep all of a sudden after a burst of energy and he can sleep for hours on end in the middle of the day. He says he's 'catching up on sleep' from working the prior day.
Well I hope that starts a conversation. Please what can I do do prove to myself I'm not being paranoid (I do feel paranoid). He is and has been proven to be a what I call pathological liar also, and very manipulative. He lies so well it's hard not to believe him, even when I know he's LYING! I just need to know what I am dealing with...pot? He's smoked pot for decades. He did admit to using cocaine (and other drugs) 'years and years ago' but he said "I'm one of the lucky ones that could use it and never get addicted but I don't use it anymore."
Help please!
Can I ask you why you seem to seek out these relationships that are so dysfunctional and unhealthy? There are two types of addicts in the world........the ones who are addicted to a chemical substance and the ones who are addicted to the addicts, the drama, and the dysfunction. I think you know he is up to no good and not heading in a positive direction. There is only so much you can do, but it doesnt sound like you two have a very healthy relationship to begin with. I think you would benefit from taking a look inside yourself and asking yourself why it is you seek out these situations and keep ending up in these positions. Asking "why" and reflecting inwards is a great way to start changing your life and routine.
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Yes you are right of course, and I've had therapy about it also. Every single relationship I've been in (not many because I was married shortly after high school for 17 years) has wound up with me discovering some kind of addiction issue. I do remember about 10 years of my life (after my first divorce) where I was alone, and looking back, those were very happy times. Then all of a sudden I decided I wanted a man in my life, and I started this whole stupid cycle all over again. And yes, there WERE signs BOTH TIMES. After about 10 years of peace I jumped from a prior frying pan into not just a fire, but what could be called a nuclear bomb! When I'm out of this situation (not sure how yet, you've read my story), I will never get into a relationship again. I'm dangerous to myself in my choices and no I do not understand why, other than I do have a problem.
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Originally Posted by neferkamichael
The residue in this baggy is whitish in color though and seems stuck to the bag. Nearby this was this strange metal pin-like thing that tapers around in a circle at one end and then goes straight to a pointy end. I certainly hope he isn't, but from the description you gave, please take control of your money, hide all your jewelry and valuable possessions, and never let him use your car. Rootin for ya.
Originally Posted by overit263
Believe me, I understand going into digging mode! It's like you try to gather as much intel as possible...and then what good does it do you? It's all the same, using is using, no matter how much, how often, when where whatever. You have all of the evidence you need, now you need to formulate a plan on protecting yourself. I think we go back and forth because logically, it just doesn't make sense, but that's what happens when you aren't an addict and you can't wrap your brain around it. Now it's about self preservation because you want to keep your sanity. Confronting won't do anything because addicts lie. Inviting more lies into your brain will not do you any good. The addiction wants you to be confused and not firm, because that will allow you to be used some more letting the addict keep having sources to take from.
- EXCEPT pull my bootstraps back up, get strong again like I was years ago, and PREPARE/PROTECT against this ticking timebomb.God, I don't want to deal with this, I just want peace and everything to be okay. How can a professed 'devout' Christian act to me the way he does? I don't get it. I've been christian most of my life and I don't get it, I thought this was all an answer to prayers, and in fact, although somewhat calmer since his "Christianity", it's worse in many ways, just much more well hidden from society on his part because of his 'profession of faith and thankfulness to God" and so on. It's driving me insane. OMG I just fell apart. Sorry. I needed it I guess."you can't wrap your brain about it"....EXACTLY!
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Not sure if anyone said this but Coke users can have a real gravely voice sounds like they have a awful cold or have been shouting for hours after they use. My friends brother is a user. Not sure on meth. I hear you can't sleep much or at all while using it.
Hope you get it figured out.
Hope you get it figured out.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 22
He has a gravelly voice when he comes back from outside. I attributed it to smoking pot, I can always tell when he's 'on something'. Usually though, I can smell the pot, but he comes in without that smell and still has the weird rather slow (and stupid) low crackly voice. And he oftentimes sounds like he has a cold, stuffy and so on.
Before I decided not to look around today, I did look inside his robe pockets where he keeps his bullet shaped thingy (I don't know how else to describe it, just a small roundish/oval thing) and it's not in there, so he must have taken it with him. He also always has those plastic tooth flossers things in his robe pockets and lighters. I figured that was something to do with smoking pot also, but there's more to this and I know it now.
I'm beginning to think the 'pot smoking' is more of a camoflauge for other things than anything else. He knows I know he smokes pot and threw up my hands about it. So it's camoflauge for other things (coke, meth, whatever)
Before I decided not to look around today, I did look inside his robe pockets where he keeps his bullet shaped thingy (I don't know how else to describe it, just a small roundish/oval thing) and it's not in there, so he must have taken it with him. He also always has those plastic tooth flossers things in his robe pockets and lighters. I figured that was something to do with smoking pot also, but there's more to this and I know it now.
I'm beginning to think the 'pot smoking' is more of a camoflauge for other things than anything else. He knows I know he smokes pot and threw up my hands about it. So it's camoflauge for other things (coke, meth, whatever)
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