Detox wish I never even started.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Well.. My insurance extended my stay thru Sunday so... WOO-HOO! That's not all... My case worker told me my insurance wouldn't cover the place I wanted to go, but he was working SO HARD to find me siomewhere else. So I called my insurance to check and sho nuff- they covered My first choice... BUT by now it's 4.45 ona Friday and where's my counselor? Nowhere to be found! Not that they'd find me a bed after 5 anyway... Nice. And before you tell me shite about looking at the bright side- SAVE IT! I'm not a low-life. I'm a house wife with insurance, who really wants help! God help the less fortunate because this system is WRONG!!! For EVERYONE!!!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
It's very hard to get anything to happen on a Friday evening ESN so I sympathise.
Venting is a good release - but try to remember - we're on your side - noones looking to take you down or smack you round
D
Venting is a good release - but try to remember - we're on your side - noones looking to take you down or smack you round
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Stay on track, this was just a small bump on the road. And you needed detox. It's all good. For what it's worth, I also saw "regulars" at my detox center, patients who knew the nurses and other patients, etc. It was pretty sad, some of them even knew the dinner menu: "Tonight's taco night", one guy said to me.
I also empathize for the less fortunate. Like you, I was a professional with family support and I had a bear of a time getting the services to work for me. I can't imagine how you could get help if you were poor, had to ride the bus, find child care or didn't have a place to sleep. It was baffling how inept the system is here in the states.
Hang on. You'll be through this soon. Keep your chin up!
I also empathize for the less fortunate. Like you, I was a professional with family support and I had a bear of a time getting the services to work for me. I can't imagine how you could get help if you were poor, had to ride the bus, find child care or didn't have a place to sleep. It was baffling how inept the system is here in the states.
Hang on. You'll be through this soon. Keep your chin up!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
I also saw "regulars" at my detox center, patients who knew the nurses and other patients, etc. It was pretty sad, some of them even knew the dinner menu: "Tonight's taco night", one guy said to me.
There are people who actually seem proud to know the best places to go, what with their accumulating a long history of comparing one treatment site to another.
There's no shame in repeating the process, but boasting about one's knowledge around which treatment center/hospital has the best food is nothing to be proud of.
Originally Posted by bigsombrero
I also empathize for the less fortunate. Like you, I was a professional with family support and I had a bear of a time getting the services to work for me. I can't imagine how you could get help if you were poor, had to ride the bus, find child care or didn't have a place to sleep. It was baffling how inept the system is here in the states.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Yeah, insurance will give you the run around and do everything they can not to pay. I think they tried to kick me out of rehab early like 4 times. Never mind the fact that just a month earlier, I was in the ICU in a coma. No, they didn't want to shell out the extra bit for the last 5 days of my 30 days inpatient. Thank god my facility fought for me to have the full 30, though I know their motivation was not about me and just to get their money. Whatever works.
I experienced the exact same thing recently with my physical rehab. I was there just 9 days when I got the news that I was getting kicked out. I could barely walk on my own, but apparently, that was good enough.
And I have supposedly good insurance.
You just keep hanging in there ESN. Things usually find a way to get worked out for the best. Keep your chin up!
I experienced the exact same thing recently with my physical rehab. I was there just 9 days when I got the news that I was getting kicked out. I could barely walk on my own, but apparently, that was good enough.
And I have supposedly good insurance.
You just keep hanging in there ESN. Things usually find a way to get worked out for the best. Keep your chin up!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Gillian- what I meant was people that use it as a homeless shelter in order to get free drugs with NO intention of getting clean. I apologize for how it came off. I'm obviously very frustrated right now. My apologies.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
But you're not using it that way, ESN. You're there to get better. Don't let the other people get to you. This is your time to get better.
When I first got to rehab, the people who didn't want to be there pissed me off beyond belief. The people who were court ordered, or made to go by their employers or family members. These people clearly had no intention of staying clean after they got out. They told me so. One roommate told me he was going to get high as soon as he got out.
But I was there to learn how to get sober. I didn't want that life. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to go back for a 2nd, 3rd or 12th time. So I stuck with the few people who actually wanted to be there.
You just worry about yourself right now. You're making good progress. Don't compare yourself to others. It's useless. The only apt comparison is to yourself. Where you were, and where you are now.
When I first got to rehab, the people who didn't want to be there pissed me off beyond belief. The people who were court ordered, or made to go by their employers or family members. These people clearly had no intention of staying clean after they got out. They told me so. One roommate told me he was going to get high as soon as he got out.
But I was there to learn how to get sober. I didn't want that life. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to go back for a 2nd, 3rd or 12th time. So I stuck with the few people who actually wanted to be there.
You just worry about yourself right now. You're making good progress. Don't compare yourself to others. It's useless. The only apt comparison is to yourself. Where you were, and where you are now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Am worried about me, am worried about people less fortunate than me that want help- but have SO MANY ODDS stacked against them! not the low-lives taking advantage( which I did not mean to insinuate we're Just uninsured people) just felt I should clear that up for Gillian's sake. Because after re-reading- I see how that may've read. My bad. Ty
Brother of the Wolf
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
ESN, I do apologize if any of my comments in your other thread seemed to trivialize what you are going through. I also apologize if my comments gave you false expectations of a cake walk through detox. It is very difficult, especially considering that the process is literally the exact opposite behaviour of what we had been accustomed to. I am very sorry for all of your frustrations with the program that you're in right now, but hopefully iit just serves as a reminder of how badly you want your sobriety to stay with it through such uncomfortable circumstances. That in and of its self is a testament to how strong you really are. My thoughts are with you while you are going through this dramatic change in your life.
Oh, and if I hadn't mentioned it before, I am also in New England and I know how ill-prepared and unsupportive the medical community up here can be in dealing with people like us. But I promise you, it does get better.
Oh, and if I hadn't mentioned it before, I am also in New England and I know how ill-prepared and unsupportive the medical community up here can be in dealing with people like us. But I promise you, it does get better.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by EverySngleNight
I'm just saying its a freaking MIRACLE that anyone can get sober in this FN system. I mean really!!! No wonder it's the "disease of relapse". I'm over this.
It all comes down to us. I have found the sooner I stopped blaming everything around me or "Well so and so didn't do this quick enough, so and so said this, the grass is to green today, WHY is my mother in law looking at me like that, UGH this rain is just way to wet, SNOW?? Really??" and a thousand other excuses I was finally able to break free and see my addiction of what it was. A selfish circle of guilt and regret and shame.
We have to want it ultimately. The fanciest resort detox's, rehabs, spiritual books, meetings, discussion etc can potentially all be null in void if we don't want it.
It seems like you want it. Embrace it, DO IT. Don't sweat the random things that may not go as you please in the detox facility.
YOU can do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Originally Posted by Weaver
It all comes down to us. I have found the sooner I stopped blaming everything around me or "Well so and so didn't do this quick enough, so and so said this, the grass is to green today, WHY is my mother in law looking at me like that, UGH this rain is just way to wet, SNOW?? Really??" and a thousand other excuses I was finally able to break free and see my addiction of what it was. A selfish circle of guilt and regret and shame.
We have to want it ultimately. The fanciest resort detox's, rehabs, spiritual books, meetings, discussion etc can potentially all be null in void if we don't want it.
It seems like you want it. Embrace it, DO IT. Don't sweat the random things that may not go as you please in the detox facility.
YOU can do this.
We have to want it ultimately. The fanciest resort detox's, rehabs, spiritual books, meetings, discussion etc can potentially all be null in void if we don't want it.
It seems like you want it. Embrace it, DO IT. Don't sweat the random things that may not go as you please in the detox facility.
YOU can do this.
I could leave detox RIGHT NOW. But I'm staying. FIGHTING for myself. FORCING them to give me the help I need and not allow me to fall back into the herd. I NEED to go to residential and transfer to outpatient. If I didn't have insurance (thank GOD I do), do you think they'd lift a finger to help me? Nope! And that's why I made that comment. Agree, disagree... It's how I really feel. IMO the truth. Just sayin.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Also...
"This rain is too wet."?? Srsly??? Who is at a "fancy resort detox"? Certainly you don't mean me? Right?? Oh, I'm sorry I'm allowed to watch tv and use an iPad! You'd like me chained to a bed in a hospital Johnny begging for my daily ration of gruel??? "Oh please sir, I'll never drink again- if only you'll allow me but one phone call!!!" Woe is me!!!!! "A selfish circle of guilt and shame!" Wait to kick em while their down! Maybe you should consider being a counselor at one of these facilities.. I think you'd fit the bill quite nicely from what I've experienced thus far. And lastly, your little critiques aren't helping anyone stay sober. Next time, maybe consider- will what I say hurt this person and compromise their strength? Hmmmm.....
"This rain is too wet."?? Srsly??? Who is at a "fancy resort detox"? Certainly you don't mean me? Right?? Oh, I'm sorry I'm allowed to watch tv and use an iPad! You'd like me chained to a bed in a hospital Johnny begging for my daily ration of gruel??? "Oh please sir, I'll never drink again- if only you'll allow me but one phone call!!!" Woe is me!!!!! "A selfish circle of guilt and shame!" Wait to kick em while their down! Maybe you should consider being a counselor at one of these facilities.. I think you'd fit the bill quite nicely from what I've experienced thus far. And lastly, your little critiques aren't helping anyone stay sober. Next time, maybe consider- will what I say hurt this person and compromise their strength? Hmmmm.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
if -- I stay sober
getting sober is an interesting thing
I remember back when I went through rehab (middle of the road rehab)
there was so much to deal with as my emotions and thoughts swirled in my head
I kept my resentment list short
concentrating on this new way of life was enough to deal with - without booze and drugs
I have also seen ones up close get sober in jail (not a pretty site)
I have been sober for a while now
let's just say that if I ended up back out there doing my old dirty deeds again
I know enough about rehabs now -- inexpensive free ones to the Betty Ford type
to me it wouldn't matter where I go to rehab
my bottom line would be sobriety and sobriety only
I have noticed in my past that all comes together in time
if
I stay sober
Mountainman Bob
I remember back when I went through rehab (middle of the road rehab)
there was so much to deal with as my emotions and thoughts swirled in my head
I kept my resentment list short
concentrating on this new way of life was enough to deal with - without booze and drugs
I have also seen ones up close get sober in jail (not a pretty site)
I have been sober for a while now
let's just say that if I ended up back out there doing my old dirty deeds again
I know enough about rehabs now -- inexpensive free ones to the Betty Ford type
to me it wouldn't matter where I go to rehab
my bottom line would be sobriety and sobriety only
I have noticed in my past that all comes together in time
if
I stay sober
Mountainman Bob
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