marselles

you know guys, i'm remembering in detox how i was feeling it (the physical withdrawals). i didn't think i could handle it. i felt all alone in that building full of people. i wanted to run.

then i recalled how they had said that my mouth and ability to talk, to communicate my true feelings, was perhaps the most powerful tool in my kit at that time.

i didn't feel like talking. least of all to the few characters who were awake at that hour. but you know what? i reached out to someone - i stopped caring who it was - it was just someone. someone who shared a common ground with me.

and for the first time i felt something in the unparallelled strength found when one addict(alcoholic) helps another. it actually helped alleviate the discomfort of physical withdrawal. i slept some that night because we had discussed the solution to my problem. and i never need to be alone again. magic!

KateL

Oh God. I know the feeling. It's horrible, but doesn't last too long, thankfully.

SweatyHands

Yeah, I had the closed-eye hallucinations and things were definitely creeping and crawling around on me but that stopped after the second night. The strangest thing was the olfactory hallucinations. Whenever the physical withdrawal was getting to the dangerous stage I smelled burnt toast right before things would start to look like they were "boiling." And to think, I thought that was just something I could deal with rather than actually getting sober.

Something that my wife told me that may help you: you're doing something very important and very difficult, give yourself some credit and be proud of yourself.

EverySngleNight

I'm trying but it's like they're giving mr the bare minimum f meds and the symptoms I'm having... I can't cope with. But then the social anxiety!!! And immparanoidabout asking... But it's rather ask or throw myself or someone else out this window. Can't bare to taklk to hubby at the moment. And 2 out of 4 of my meetings have been faith based!!!! Ugh!!! Good on them whatever works. I know I'm talking like a loon. I know. But who else can bawl like a 3 yo girl who lost her kitten on this much Ativan???? When does this part END???? Please tell me it fn will PLWASE?????

bigsombrero

Glad you went to detox. Scared the heck out of me also - though I was in such a fog due to meds, etc, that I don't remember much except that my roommate looked like Fidel Castro and talked like Billy Bob Thornton in "Sling Blade". Mmmhmm.

It's a big step though, really. Smart move. Sometimes getting "scared straight" is just what we need to get the motivational fires going. I think you are doing the right thing, and that this will get you started on a really positive road.

Stay steady, one step at a time, one hour at a time. All the best, you are very courageous for doing this.

SweatyHands

Tell them how bad the symptoms are. You're not doing yourself or the Dr.s any good by downplaying the symptoms and trying to tough it out. If you are having bad w/d symptoms they need to be addressed medically before you're in real danger. The Dr.s can help you much more effectively if you are honest with them about the severity of your symptoms. And again, congratulations and good luck!

EverySngleNight

This is not going well.. They were giving me meds every 4 hrs that were only covering 2. Now 2 hrs in ( I'm jonsen) and in 4 more hours- they wanna start me on a different med that lasts 6 with no coverage in between. Do they want me to die! I'm staying calm and my hub is here to ask questions and keep me calm... But they're now mentioning transferring me to psyche.... WTF is going on?????

EverySngleNight

And every time I come back from group- I'm SOOO annoyed and frustrated. My working diagnosis is ADD-I and dissociation from a history of trauma. This place was supposed to be dual diagnosis... WTF!

digdug

Detox is very hard, even in a facility. I remember one night when they cut my meds, I felt so sick, I didn't know where I was. I remember crying in the nurses' station saying I don't want to go back to my room because I was afraid.

Another time, I was supposed to get my meds three times a day. But instead of breaking it up evenly every 8 hours, I had to go 15 hours between the first and second dose, and then just 6 hours until the third dose. It made no sense to me. I fought the nurses on it. It was a wasted effort on my part. There was a schedule and it had to be followed. I am not a doctor and I had no right trying to dictate my own treatment plan. Trust the professionals here.

They know what they're doing. Their job is to keep you alive because withdrawal is deadly. You just have to keep the faith that you can and will get through this. You have to accept that you will be extremely uncomfortably. But this is all temporary. You'd be surprised how much the mind plays a role in the perceived severity of withdrawal symptoms.

So relax. Try some deep breathing. And trust that in the end, you will be ok. They will not let you seize out. You are following a course of treatment that I'm sure thousands of people, including myself, have gone through.

EverySngleNight

Oh diddug... You don't know me too well!!! Lol forced my team to have a meeting with me and my husband to explain my dosing schedule, and I made them write it on the grease board in my room. We negotiated and they added a med so I *dont have to go naked for the two hours we were waiting on the Librium. We'll see how tonight goes! They basically give it to you when it's convenient for them.... But now I HAVE A BOARD!!!!!

digdug

Lucky you and your board

All I had were the bricks in the ceiling that I would count over and over again for hours until the nurse would knock at my door for my next dose. I miss those bricks lol.