Society is so crul
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: My Toes In The Sand in Central PA
Posts: 73
Society is so crul
I have had my share of being told I do not meet up to society standards !!
1. Not rich enough
2. Not educated enough
3. Job not good enough
4. Your body doesn't look like a model
5. Your Kids are not good enough for theirs
I could go on and on with this, people need to just accept this world is not perfect and never will be. If the world is so perfect it would not revolve at all.
If you can not take me how I am and who I am ...
" I DO NOT NEED YOU IN MY LIFE "
Is what I think of society ...
1. Not rich enough
2. Not educated enough
3. Job not good enough
4. Your body doesn't look like a model
5. Your Kids are not good enough for theirs
I could go on and on with this, people need to just accept this world is not perfect and never will be. If the world is so perfect it would not revolve at all.
If you can not take me how I am and who I am ...
" I DO NOT NEED YOU IN MY LIFE "
Is what I think of society ...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
Whenever I feel like a social norm or standard is being imposed on my by something, a commercial, a tv show, a movie, a magazine cover, I think back to something my dad used to say, "no thank you, that does not apply to me."
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
My sponsor used to tell me it's none of my business what other people think of me. I have learned to accept the fools right along with the Saints. They are only mean and hurtful if I let them be mean and hurtful.
When I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror with all of my flaws and imperfections I like what I see because I know today I'm going to work on those flaws and imperfections and be just a little bit better than I was the day before.
People that criticize and ridicule are unhappy people so I pray for them. they feel by bringing someone else down that somehow that props them up. All I can do is feel pity for those people and pay no attention to them.
As my tagline says for once I'm at peace with myself
When I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror with all of my flaws and imperfections I like what I see because I know today I'm going to work on those flaws and imperfections and be just a little bit better than I was the day before.
People that criticize and ridicule are unhappy people so I pray for them. they feel by bringing someone else down that somehow that props them up. All I can do is feel pity for those people and pay no attention to them.
As my tagline says for once I'm at peace with myself
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Is society telling you that, or media?
If an institution can convince us we need what they are selling...it's too their benefit.
Society, people, rarely tell me those messages. I have friends and family that like me as I am, even delight in many things about me.
I worry a lot less about those things when I lost my TV, started listening to Pandora radio, didn't get the paper and had no magazine subscriptions. I don't think there is anything wrong with those things. I just found it hard to not internalize some of the advertising messages.
Some of us are more sensitive to that input than others. I guess I have an "allergy" to it and react very strongly and negatively.
I don't own anyone my life. If I'm happy with it, doesn't matter if they are NOT happy with it.
If I'm not happy with it, then I can choose to change things, or choose to work on getting happy with it.
Removing the messages that I shouldn't be happy with my life was a change that really improved things. It helps me enjoy who I am and what I have without static and second guessing.
If an institution can convince us we need what they are selling...it's too their benefit.
Society, people, rarely tell me those messages. I have friends and family that like me as I am, even delight in many things about me.
I worry a lot less about those things when I lost my TV, started listening to Pandora radio, didn't get the paper and had no magazine subscriptions. I don't think there is anything wrong with those things. I just found it hard to not internalize some of the advertising messages.
Some of us are more sensitive to that input than others. I guess I have an "allergy" to it and react very strongly and negatively.
I don't own anyone my life. If I'm happy with it, doesn't matter if they are NOT happy with it.
If I'm not happy with it, then I can choose to change things, or choose to work on getting happy with it.
Removing the messages that I shouldn't be happy with my life was a change that really improved things. It helps me enjoy who I am and what I have without static and second guessing.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
What "society" thinks of us is becoming even more prevalent nowadays with social media, 24/7 "news", etc.
I've found a lot of peace in my life by realizing many of these outlets for what they are - gossip. I deleted my Facebook account about 2 years ago. I don't have a twitter account or any other like social media tool. We don't have cable or satellite TV at home either. Surprisingly to many, i don't miss any of those things - in fact i'm much happier without them.
The opinions of "society" only exist in our heads. There is no physical manifestation of any of the norms unless you decided to follow them.
I've found a lot of peace in my life by realizing many of these outlets for what they are - gossip. I deleted my Facebook account about 2 years ago. I don't have a twitter account or any other like social media tool. We don't have cable or satellite TV at home either. Surprisingly to many, i don't miss any of those things - in fact i'm much happier without them.
The opinions of "society" only exist in our heads. There is no physical manifestation of any of the norms unless you decided to follow them.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
For a few years into recovery I felt like I would never fit. But then at about 5 or 6 years into recovery I finally realized that for all of my life to then I had 'walked to a different drummer' and it was okay. I did not have to fit the mold that Society and advertisements were telling me.
Then I came to realize that 'what other people think of me is none of my business. "That what I and my HP think of me is."
It was okay to be different. And today I am STILL DIFFERENT, rofl
As I worked on myself in recovery I realized that one of the first things I had to do for me was to define my 'own personal moral code'. Not what someone else's 'moral code' was but my own. Once I had decided what was my own 'right and wrong' then I had to live that code 24/7 to the best of 'my ability'. As I continued to live this way a lot of 'things' changed for me, and those who did 'not approve' of me or my ways were soon gone from my life.
I have friends today who like/love me just the way I am. Asking nothing from me, but when I offer, accepting with love whatever it is that I am doing for them.
Just be the best person you can be TODAY. Some days will be better than others, but as long as you know at bedtime, that you did the best you could that day, then know you are doing what your HP desires you to do.
You are here, you are helping yourself, you are doing a good job for today!
Love and hugs,
Then I came to realize that 'what other people think of me is none of my business. "That what I and my HP think of me is."
It was okay to be different. And today I am STILL DIFFERENT, rofl
As I worked on myself in recovery I realized that one of the first things I had to do for me was to define my 'own personal moral code'. Not what someone else's 'moral code' was but my own. Once I had decided what was my own 'right and wrong' then I had to live that code 24/7 to the best of 'my ability'. As I continued to live this way a lot of 'things' changed for me, and those who did 'not approve' of me or my ways were soon gone from my life.
I have friends today who like/love me just the way I am. Asking nothing from me, but when I offer, accepting with love whatever it is that I am doing for them.
Just be the best person you can be TODAY. Some days will be better than others, but as long as you know at bedtime, that you did the best you could that day, then know you are doing what your HP desires you to do.
You are here, you are helping yourself, you are doing a good job for today!
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
You are the only real "authority" to give your life meaning and validation.
It isn't easy sometimes, but when you can let go worrying
about other peoples judgement, life just feels so free.
Take care and believe in yourself :-)
It isn't easy sometimes, but when you can let go worrying
about other peoples judgement, life just feels so free.
Take care and believe in yourself :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: My Toes In The Sand in Central PA
Posts: 73
I am not saying society is telling me this or TV, papers, mags
what I am saying is why do people try to be better than everyone else, they put their pants on the same way as I do.
I do not let any one make me feel inferior, I am the one who if someone or anything makes me feel little ... I speak my mind very clearly and loudly
what I am saying is why do people try to be better than everyone else, they put their pants on the same way as I do.
I do not let any one make me feel inferior, I am the one who if someone or anything makes me feel little ... I speak my mind very clearly and loudly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: My Toes In The Sand in Central PA
Posts: 73
Some from my own family, others I work with, some I run into in general at the stores that have made smart remarks while standing behind you in line and so forth. I should not be so hard on myself and let others get me down.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Originally Posted by Tabbj 
Some from my own family, others I work with, some I run into in general at the stores that have made smart remarks while standing behind you in line and so forth. I should not be so hard on myself and let others get me down.
I try to form my opinions of others, if I do form them, by how they conduct themselves and treat other people.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: dallas tx
Posts: 80
Tabbj: for what it's worth I'm a born Midwesterner who has spent over half my life on the east coast/midwest. Then, seven years ago I'm plunk down in the heart of Texas. What a culture shock. Everything I'd been told was true: Southern women will judge you for what you're wearing, how much you weigh, how big your ring is, what you drive, how your kids/house look, and I could go on and on. And do it with a full face of makeup at 7 am!! ROTFL. When I was up north, I could go to the store/soccer games/almost anywhere on weekends without makeup and I was the majority. Here, I'd be in the looked-down on minority. I admit I have adjusted to the norms. But, it has made me feel more comfortable rather than less comfortable, because I've always been a kind of "When in Rome do as the Romans do" person, unless that meant immoral acts or giving into my addiction. I refuse to drink with these women, and so many do, although I may look like "one of them."
My humble advice would be that you're dealing with mean morons (I've noticed that being in Pennsylvania, it's getting to be cold and miserable up there too) and that doesn't help. When I go north to visit my folks or east to my in-laws I am always treated worse by people. I chalk that up to the people there rather than to anything about me. If people actually say nasty things behind you in line at a store, they have MAJOR mental/emotional issues. As others have said, I would pray for them and pity them for living such a miserable existance.
My humble advice would be that you're dealing with mean morons (I've noticed that being in Pennsylvania, it's getting to be cold and miserable up there too) and that doesn't help. When I go north to visit my folks or east to my in-laws I am always treated worse by people. I chalk that up to the people there rather than to anything about me. If people actually say nasty things behind you in line at a store, they have MAJOR mental/emotional issues. As others have said, I would pray for them and pity them for living such a miserable existance.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: dallas tx
Posts: 80
Also wanted to echo what Foolsgold said about judging people only on how they treat others. I've noticed in life that those people who have the most money, education or natural talent are often the most gracious and kind (that is if the money is earned through hard work). They have nothing to prove. It is the wanna-be's, the strivers, the almost-but-can't-quite-attainers that are mean and bitter. They revel in the misery of others.
True grace belongs to those who treat others with kindness and compassion, no matter how their lot in life compares to others.
True grace belongs to those who treat others with kindness and compassion, no matter how their lot in life compares to others.
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