Ruby2

Ditto Nonsensicals post. I have a few observations. While getting into a relationship while new in recovery sounds lovely, I'd put the brakes on it. I met my husband while in out patient treatment nine years ago. We have been on the roller coaster ride from heck as he relapsed shortly after we got married. I got pregnant and started drinking after the baby came. Now we have two kids and are both struggling. Neither of us is right in the head from the years of alcohol abuse. I am slowly working on myself. He will do what he needs to, or not. There is always a risk of relapse with any alcoholic. The stress of getting yourself right and the energy a new relationship demands are too much.

I don't think people in the meeting are judging you and if they truly are then I would hit different meetings. Do you go early? you could sit around and talk to people? Stay after to talk to people? I go to meetings at a club that is devoted solely to AA meetings. They run a bunch of meetings all day. Different people at different meetings. People hang out and talk before and after. There are a few of these clubs in my area. Perhaps there is something like this near you. Like minded people on a similar journey to you. Each meeting has a different vibe.

Good luck. And many of the meetings have holiday meetings or dinners for people who might otherwise spend the time alone. Ask around if something is going on near you for Christmas. A lot of places also do "alkathons" around the holidays, knowing of the call to slip. Which is what most of the readings this month will be geared towards.

four812

"I used to be a serial monogamist, going from relationship to relationship, just to seek validation and self-worth through having a significant other. "


Wow that is a quote! For many including me

Acheleus

The person I like has 3 years sober. I just get that feeling around her, and I catch her looking at me. I played the piano before a meeting and now she has makeup on all the time and puts lip stuff on in front of me.

But yes, I do not say one word to her. I freeze up and do not know what to do

digdug

No one is saying you can't talk to her and be friends with her. But just leave it at that. I have several friends in the program who are attractive women. These are women, that under different circumstances, I would have already asked out. But that would be in no one's best interest. In fact, it's actually been kind of nice to have platonic female friends for the first time in my life. Every female "friend" that I had before, I either ended up sleeping with, or wanted to sleep with.

And if she has 3 years, she will not want to take things further than friendship with someone who has just 24 days. Trust me on this, let the idea go and put it out of your mind. Concentrate on yourself and everything else will eventually fall into place.