Hi, I'm new and desperate
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: glasgow
Posts: 22
Hi, I'm new and desperate
Hi everyone. I've just joined. I've reached a stage where I have to stop drinking. I've drunk wine in the evenings for years, but in the last three years since my husband left me I'm now drinking a bottle of wine a night. I'm ready to stop. I'm also starting to panic because I'm going for an operation in the next few weeks and I have to stop drinking before this. I'm terrified to just stop cold turkey because I've read you can go into the d.t.'s which can result in death. In an ideal world I'd love to taper off drinking, but does it work? I'd love to hear from anyone who has drunk as much as me and has stopped. Thank you so much for reading this.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Hi Holburn,
We always recommend you see a doctor if you plan to detox. Not only can he check for danger signs, but also might prescribe something to decrease your anxiety and felling that you need to drink to calm down.
My wife and I were drinking more wine than a bottle a night. I quit in an in-patient detox and she just went cold turkey. We were both fine.
There are numerous old threads here bout tapering. Most members seem to think it is a bad idea. I have seen threads where someone gives an account of tapering, and they put themselves through hell and it often doesn't work--the quantity consumed does not decrease. Why not just quit once and for all?
We always recommend you see a doctor if you plan to detox. Not only can he check for danger signs, but also might prescribe something to decrease your anxiety and felling that you need to drink to calm down.
My wife and I were drinking more wine than a bottle a night. I quit in an in-patient detox and she just went cold turkey. We were both fine.
There are numerous old threads here bout tapering. Most members seem to think it is a bad idea. I have seen threads where someone gives an account of tapering, and they put themselves through hell and it often doesn't work--the quantity consumed does not decrease. Why not just quit once and for all?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
Posts: 211
Welcome holburn! You have found an excellent resource and support system. I encourage you to stick around, read posts & post as often as you'd like! We all need each other.
I totally understand your fear about your upcoming surgery & drinking. I was deep into my alcoholism when I had back surgery in 2010. I drank the night before surgery & resumed drinking immediately afterwards. Guess what? I didn't heal properly.
I highly encourage you to speak with your doctor. Your doctor will be able to help you formulate a plan to safely stop drinking. I sure wish I would have heeded this advice when I had my surgery. I did finally admit my alcohol abuse to my doctor in 2011. I expected him to judge me, but instead he was focused on helping me get sober.
I think we get so focused on other peoples' judgments that we fear coming clean about our problem and asking for help. Help is out there - all we need to do is ask. I think you posting is an amazing first step!!
I drank like you, 7 days a week. At any given time I was either drunk or hungover. I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. I reached a point where I needed to make a decision - get sober and learn to live or die. I chose life and let me tell you - a sober life is absolutely amazing!
I totally understand your fear about your upcoming surgery & drinking. I was deep into my alcoholism when I had back surgery in 2010. I drank the night before surgery & resumed drinking immediately afterwards. Guess what? I didn't heal properly.
I highly encourage you to speak with your doctor. Your doctor will be able to help you formulate a plan to safely stop drinking. I sure wish I would have heeded this advice when I had my surgery. I did finally admit my alcohol abuse to my doctor in 2011. I expected him to judge me, but instead he was focused on helping me get sober.
I think we get so focused on other peoples' judgments that we fear coming clean about our problem and asking for help. Help is out there - all we need to do is ask. I think you posting is an amazing first step!!
I drank like you, 7 days a week. At any given time I was either drunk or hungover. I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. I reached a point where I needed to make a decision - get sober and learn to live or die. I chose life and let me tell you - a sober life is absolutely amazing!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome holburn, by the end i was drinking bottles of wine every night and i quit drinking over a year ago now. SR is a wonderful place for support. It's really helped with my recovery. If you are concerned about withdrawals it's a good idea to speak to a doctor. Glad you have joined us. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: glasgow
Posts: 22
Thank you so much everyone for reading and replying to my post. The one thing you have all made me realise is that I need to see my gp about this. I want to turn my life around and not have to depend on alcohol every evening. I can function perfectly well during the day and want to just come home from work and have a relaxing evening without alcohol. I'm going to phone my gp in the morning. Thank you all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Originally Posted by holburn 
Thank you so much everyone for reading and replying to my post. The one thing you have all made me realise is that I need to see my gp about this. I want to turn my life around and not have to depend on alcohol every evening. I can function perfectly well during the day and want to just come home from work and have a relaxing evening without alcohol. I'm going to phone my gp in the morning. Thank you all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: glasgow
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by GotGrace
Welcome, Holburn! I drank the same way as you, evenings only but every evening. I got to the point where I was just so sick of it, of being sick and tired. You can do it. Flip that switch. My evenings are so much more enjoyable now! Lots more time to do the things I like that I had forgotten about, better sleep, and much better mornings without the hangovers. Best of luck to you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi Holborn - Welcome
Honestly? If withdrawal worries you that much you're best to see a Dr. about it.
They'll give their opinion on what is best for you to do.
They may well suggest tapering anyway - they seem to do that a lot in the UK - but a medically approved and devised taper is a far cry from a do it yourself taper, which can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, and often not effective anyway.
D
Honestly? If withdrawal worries you that much you're best to see a Dr. about it.
They'll give their opinion on what is best for you to do.
They may well suggest tapering anyway - they seem to do that a lot in the UK - but a medically approved and devised taper is a far cry from a do it yourself taper, which can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, and often not effective anyway.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: glasgow
Posts: 22
Can i just add that the reason I mention withdrawals is because I've googled it all and it says you should not stop cold turkey because it can be dangerous. I would be prepared to go through certain symptoms of withdrawal, but worry that i've been drinking so long that it would be dangerous. Maybe I'm being a drama queen!! I take everything so seriously and get obsessed. I'd love to hear that you can stop drinking a bottle of wine a night, suffer some withdrawal, but go on to be alcohol free eventually.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Welcome! Please please talk to your doctor. Alcoholic patients that are not upfront with their surgery team pre-procedure can go into withdrawals during or after surgery which is not a good thing. Get help to do this before your surgery and please let your medical team know!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Originally Posted by holburn
Can i just add that the reason I mention withdrawals is because I've googled it all and it says you should not stop cold turkey because it can be dangerous. I would be prepared to go through certain symptoms of withdrawal, but worry that i've been drinking so long that it would be dangerous. Maybe I'm being a drama queen!! I take everything so seriously and get obsessed. I'd love to hear that you can stop drinking a bottle of wine a night, suffer some withdrawal, but go on to be alcohol free eventually.
I recommend talking to your doctor for help in getting safely thru detox.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: glasgow
Posts: 22
I phoned my gp this morning for an appointment but couldn't get one. That's what we do here, we phone the gp at 8.30 a.m. and can sometime manage to get an appointment that day. Anyway, I supposedly started to taper off wine and had two large glasses, instead of a bottle, and have had an awful sleep. Woke up sweating and the tension in my shoulders and head is awful. I'm sitting drinking a glass of wine as I type this. I'm getting really panicky because I know any day I'll get a call from the hospital saying I've to go in for my operation and I can't do it while I'm in this position. Why have I gotten myself into this predicament............... Sorry for moaning!!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 64
hey holburn! "sleepy-in-manchester" here.
just to assure you its absolutely achievable to find sobriety. personally i continue to find it on a day-to-day basis via aa groups (uncomfortable to begin with, but desperate enough to hold on to my seat!).
you might wanna try honest perseverance to speak to your gp (even if only by phone). if you're truly ready, then you'll perhaps trust gp's recommendations and simply not listen to your own thinking and just do whatever is suggested? also (and i know this may sound crazy) but whether or not you believe in god, praying for courage and strength to do what is right may help!!
you deserve a better life!
just to assure you its absolutely achievable to find sobriety. personally i continue to find it on a day-to-day basis via aa groups (uncomfortable to begin with, but desperate enough to hold on to my seat!).
you might wanna try honest perseverance to speak to your gp (even if only by phone). if you're truly ready, then you'll perhaps trust gp's recommendations and simply not listen to your own thinking and just do whatever is suggested? also (and i know this may sound crazy) but whether or not you believe in god, praying for courage and strength to do what is right may help!!
you deserve a better life!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Can you call the GP and say what you are dealing with? Sometimes the seriousness of the situation can get you an appointment faster. Does the doc have any partners or assistants you can see?
If the hospital calls, you need to be honest with them that you have been drinking a bottle of wine a day and you are concerned about withdrawals surrounding surgery.
Big hugs (((holburn)))) this is possible. I was close to a bottle of wine a night and now I have. 99 days sober. If I can do it you certainly can!
If the hospital calls, you need to be honest with them that you have been drinking a bottle of wine a day and you are concerned about withdrawals surrounding surgery.
Big hugs (((holburn)))) this is possible. I was close to a bottle of wine a night and now I have. 99 days sober. If I can do it you certainly can!
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