30 days down, approx 900+ to go
 

I made it through my pre-planned New Orleans thanksgiving vacation sober. I did not feel a real compulsion to drink (although i thought about it a few times) but I did feel a sense of sadness that something that is fairly harmless and enjoyable to some people is not an option for me anymore. (but whatever- sadness is not new to me because I'm clinically depressed anyway.) today I return home and I feel defeated. the grind of my job, my life, and not having that quick fix for the tedium. this feeling defeated by life takes so much work to confront. and alcohol only stopped me from feeling it, but it was there all along.

but then i think, that's really stupid. counting on booze to deal with things you don't like is just stupid. get up, get moving, get on with it. life is a gift. don't turn your nose up at it.

I get those same feelings as well.
Just hang in there. The shorter days and cold weather doesn't help either.
Alcohol never helped me,just a temporary fix and then still felt down.
Even more so after the effect have worn off.

That's the attitude to keep your recovery going.

Great job on 30 days!! :You_Rock_

Well done on 30 days. You are so right when you say that life is a gift. It really is. We should all be thankful for what we do have rather than focusing on the things we don't have. Keep up the good fight and good luck

I am right there with you, so do not feel alone. This time of year sucks anyways when it comes to depression. I am in a funk myself, but I know there is a light at the end, I just have to be patient.

Nice work, life is tough sometimes but being up front with it helps you solve the problems more readily.

Be wary of your thinking that alcohol was or is a "fix" for anything. That's your addiction talking. Alcohol breaks things and makes them worse, not better.

congratulations anyistoomuch :)

Well put!

Have you found the depression lifting being sober?

Petecrab, only one month in and i can tell that there is some clarity and stability underneath this emotional chaos. this chaos is a result of dropping a 20 year habit that kept me separate from my real emotions, and the fact that i don't know how to be a "sober me" yet.

honestly, i feel like an idiot because i drank all these years ignoring that it was aggravating my situation, probably warping the results of all the mental health and wellness things I did for myself. idiotic.

alcohol is stupid

You are doing well. The sadness will come and go. It is a part of it, I think. Keep walking forward. There is much to be grateful for.

Congrats on the 30 days sober! Hang in there! :c011:

Great post. It really does get easier. Just remember what we're actually giving up. The whole idea of relaxing with a drink or two? That's not even on the table for me. The reality of my drinking—the obsession, regret, shame, and fear—that's what I gave up.

Not that life's always easy. My dad died over the weekend. Pancreatic cancer, diagnosed over a year ago. Pretty rough experience for the whole family. And throughout it, I found comfort in reminding myself, well, at least I wasn't drinking. I didn't always feel like I said or did the right thing, but at least I wasn't drinking. I might wake up feeling exhausted and unmotivated, but at least I wasn't drinking...

It's become a reassuring mantra to me because it means no matter what else happens, at the end of the day I have at least one reason to be grateful and proud.

We both do. :)