Indenial618

Been putting together strings of sober days. Feeling good and then ruining it all. This has been an ongoing thing for over 10 years. I really don't know what to do anymore. I could just sit here and cry. I hate myself.

Twinings

Indenial. I feel the same.... if this keeps on going the future looks depressing... but all we can do is keep trying new things, new plans until something clicks. Take it easy

Victoria74

I am the same, but I keep on trying, someone wrote that it is when you stop trying that you have lost. There is lots of god stuff to read here, someone also wrote to me to stop whining and take action :-) Easier said than done.... But here goes day 1 again...

Skye2

I remember feeling exactly how you're feeling - didn't think it would ever end. Then one day I was reading the 'alcoholism' forum and came across 'kindling' - it scared 7 bells out of me. I spent the next couple of weeks clinging to the forum, every spare minute and if I felt tempted, I posted before I didn't anything about it.
I think everyone comes here thinking they'll never do it - There would be no point in having the forum if quitting was easy, after all

Xx

Indenial618

Thank you all. I know this forum can be helpful. I came here years ago under another name and had well over 1000 posts. I used it at a great tool and over the years slipped away. I' m just so disappointed in myself. During the winter time I really feel like I have seasonal affective disorder and I feel "joyless". It's like I have to drink to feel some sort of emotion. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. It messes with my psyche, my anxiety and I know it's not good for my health but I do it anyways. It's not good for my family either.

Dee74

There's always something you can add to your programme. Maybe it's something new, or maybe it's something you tried before but for whatever reason didn't jell with it back then.

Noone is beyond hope....but we get out our recovery what we put in.

Leave no stone unturned - give it all you have

you can do this

D

hayley86

The important thing is that you keep trying. If what you are doing isn't working maybe try doing something different or add in some extra support. I didn't think i would be able to stop drinking but i have found a good combination of things that work for my recovery. You can do it too. Best wishes.

Indenial618

Thank you guys for the encouraging words. Just dumped and trashed the rest of the wine and the two bottles I had hidden. I want sobriety so bad. I just have to stop thinking about the things I will be losing that really aren't as important as being healthy and a good mother and wife. I always think of things like a ladies group i'm part of that gets together weekly and all we do is drink and have fun. Not somfun the next day. For awhile I just didn't go because I didn't want to drink. I don't know why I feel like those types of things are important. We also entertain a lot and there is always alcohol. My husband doesn't drink at all, ever. He hates the taste of alcohol and I'm just fascinated how he can go to parties or out to dinner and never drink. Wish I was like that

MIRecovery

Recovery is about change. Some of the differences in my life are.

• I have a dry house
• I go to AA 4 times a week
• I went to intensive outpatient treatment for 4 months
• I avoid all situations where alcobol is present
• I have a network of sober friends

If we always do, what we always did, we will always get, what we always got

IOAA2

Hi. MIR hits the nail on the head. I, after several years of trying to make my way work got in AA and the work started towards the goal of sobriety. I was in need to get honest with myself about my drinking and surrender to the fact that I could not drink in safety.
Becoming very active was needed even when I didn't want to when loving people pushed me.

One thing I learned was there are reasons I drank and the need to work on them was a #1 priority in order to stay sober.

BE WELL