Confused and anxious...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 92
Confused and anxious...
I'm 30 years old and enjoy drinking... It's just that, sometimes i'll drink too much and i become ebrassive...annoying and usually say things I regret. If that does happen, i feel anxious and embarrased the entire next day. In fact, even if I don't act out of line, i still feel a bit anxious the next day since i have OCD/anxiety disorder. I assume the alcohol being a depressent messes wih the chemicals in my brain that are already a bit out of wack in the first place.
An example that is really eating at me is.... I barely ate and I drank a bunch of wine and beers in the hot tub while visiting my parents recently. It was the last night there, with all my family and i don't remember parts of it. Not cool! I love my family and want to be present for every moment, My mother said I seemed fine when i asked her the next morning but I know for a fact that my sister thought i was ebrassive and I even said something really hurtful to my brothers wife about her father. She still hasn't forgiven me. Ugh!
Since we were out there for vacation i had a few to drink here or there each day but did not get drunk at all....buzzed if anything. It was just this one day where i endulged too much. The fact that I can drink without turning into "that guy" is what holds me back from attempting to stop. I go back and forth between the fun, more controlled times (the other days on my vacation) and the embarrasing anxiety inducing times (the last day).
This really represents how I feel about my drinking in general. I have so many fun times where I don't get out of line but when I DO get out of line, it makes me second guess everything and I fill with regret. There are other examples from my past where I blacked out, lost things, or made stupid decisions. I feel like some form of moderation would help? Maybe not.... Any suggestions or feedback appreciated.
Thanks for reading and best of luck with your own scenario.
An example that is really eating at me is.... I barely ate and I drank a bunch of wine and beers in the hot tub while visiting my parents recently. It was the last night there, with all my family and i don't remember parts of it. Not cool! I love my family and want to be present for every moment, My mother said I seemed fine when i asked her the next morning but I know for a fact that my sister thought i was ebrassive and I even said something really hurtful to my brothers wife about her father. She still hasn't forgiven me. Ugh!
Since we were out there for vacation i had a few to drink here or there each day but did not get drunk at all....buzzed if anything. It was just this one day where i endulged too much. The fact that I can drink without turning into "that guy" is what holds me back from attempting to stop. I go back and forth between the fun, more controlled times (the other days on my vacation) and the embarrasing anxiety inducing times (the last day).
This really represents how I feel about my drinking in general. I have so many fun times where I don't get out of line but when I DO get out of line, it makes me second guess everything and I fill with regret. There are other examples from my past where I blacked out, lost things, or made stupid decisions. I feel like some form of moderation would help? Maybe not.... Any suggestions or feedback appreciated.
Thanks for reading and best of luck with your own scenario.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi ScaredofChange 
The only thing I know about moderation is it didn't work for me...some times I could keep it together but when I lost it I really lost it.
When I look back I was never really in much control at all really - and less so as the years went on. It was always more good luck than good management for me.
Even if you're better at keeping it together than I was, I guess you need to decide are those times you lose it and become abrasive, and you can never quite predict when they'll happen - is it really worth the risk?
D
The only thing I know about moderation is it didn't work for me...some times I could keep it together but when I lost it I really lost it.
When I look back I was never really in much control at all really - and less so as the years went on. It was always more good luck than good management for me.
Even if you're better at keeping it together than I was, I guess you need to decide are those times you lose it and become abrasive, and you can never quite predict when they'll happen - is it really worth the risk?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 115
Hi ScaredofChange --
I have problems with anxiety and panic attacks that predated my drinking. Don't know about you but I'm on SSRIs and I think my alcohol use has messed with their effectiveness and increased their side effects. Given the things you said about embarrassment connected with your drinking (and I had an embarrassing holiday due to mine) do you think booze is just making your anxiety worse? I know it has mine. Like we need more reasons to be anxious, right?
I have problems with anxiety and panic attacks that predated my drinking. Don't know about you but I'm on SSRIs and I think my alcohol use has messed with their effectiveness and increased their side effects. Given the things you said about embarrassment connected with your drinking (and I had an embarrassing holiday due to mine) do you think booze is just making your anxiety worse? I know it has mine. Like we need more reasons to be anxious, right?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 37
Scaredofchange, you described me to a T when I was 30. I'm now 46 and my drinking habits changed a lot since then. The one think that never changed is how I felt about myself after drinking. I wish I had all the money I've spent on alcohol since I was 30.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: BC
Posts: 557
I was just about to type almost word-for-word what BeerTooth just said ... at 30, I was very similar to what you've described. Now, at 45, my drinking habits are much different ... and not in a good way 
Not saying that your life will follow the same path, but for me, it has definitely been progressive until it got totally out of control. No moderation for this girl ... nope, no way, doesn't work for me.
Not saying that your life will follow the same path, but for me, it has definitely been progressive until it got totally out of control. No moderation for this girl ... nope, no way, doesn't work for me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by BeerTooth 
Scaredofchange, you described me to a T when I was 30. I'm now 46 and my drinking habits changed a lot since then. The one think that never changed is how I felt about myself after drinking. I wish I had all the money I've spent on alcohol since I was 30.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 92
Thanks everyone. Good to know I'm not alone. I do feel that drinking is not helping with my anxiety/OCD and I hate when i have "too much" but it's difficult to just say I'm going to stop all together. It's fun most of the time... but it's bad some of the time..... Guess that's why I'm on here. Confused. I haven't had a drink since Friday when i was "annoying" and "rude" at my parents place. I'm going to hold off on sippin at all for a bit and think this through.
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