KateL

Yes, you are so right. Nobody gives my non-drinking a second thought.

Scott6433

Hey Kate. Funny you use the term "party animal" as I promise you, that's exactly what I was. My reputation proceeded me everywhere I went. I went out just this past weekend to an event that not only would I have typically drank but perhaps more so I would have had a LOT of drugs in me. Funny thing was it never came up. Period. I drank red bull and ran into all the same people. Not one person said a thing. Maybe they just figured I was high on something anyways? Before I stopped I found myself highly acute as to who was drinking etc. and who was not. As alcoholics I gather we kind of have that 6th sense as after all it is an obsession. I would look at the people who weren't drinking and after the thought of them being a bore quickly drifted, the brutal reality that it was in fact me that was the bore resonated. It's not really complicated to pound a 30 pack/bottles of wine and be the nights entertainment. Anyone can do that. I guess my attempt at my 2 cents is that even when I was drinking the people around me that were not seemed a lot more interesting. I say babysit for the night and simply take note of your thoughts as they pass through. Not being too critical of them just get comfortable in your new body and mind. Might even be fun.

ReadyAtLast

You CAN cancel if you want to and you want to protect your sobriety.

People can book hotels ,see each other and go to restaurants/bars without you.

If you had a serious illness and had to cancel you wouldn't hesitate. Not much different.

You are not responsible for everyone else. Let them be. they can make alternative plans. If they fall out with you over it then they're not true friends. The only person you need to be true to over this is you.

I cannot stress the stress you are putting yourself under by not cancelling. Please put yourself first.

Dee74

I was the party animal too.

I tried being the sober party animal...I kept going back to drinking, because with my drinking friends, that's what you do.

On the one hand there's a party, with all those associations and expectations.
On the other there's your recovery.

I think you need to decide which is the priority, Kate?

D

Venecia

How about this as an option:

Contact your friend, now, and tell her that this is a difficult time in your life. You don't owe any further explanations and telling others this early is probably not a wise choice.

Because an airline ticket is involved, make the offer to cover the cost for a rescheduled visit at a later time. It's a fair thing to do and, trust me, you are going to be finding you've got more money in your account when it's not being spent in a liquor store. The rescheduling costs are nowhere near the price of a full ticket.

The first few days and weeks of sobriety are difficult. Don't put this kind of pressure on yourself right now -- it sounds like a bad recipe. Put yourself, and your sobriety, first. A true friend will always be there.

lala34mc

I fought with how to approach this for a long time and ultimately, it was only by telling people that I started to really come to terms with it and feel better and stronger in my decision. I know everyone is different but is there one person in the group you can tell the honest truth to? It might help ease your nerves.