Fallow

Its been awhile. 3 months of not being sober. The last times I started to get sober it was due to crisis within myself. No crisis now just know this is how life has to be. Sober. This time I feel more melancholy about the whole deal.

So today is 'day 1'.

I know in my heart of hearts I am done with drinking and drugging. I also know that after a period of time it will sound like a good idea. I 'got away' with it this time didn't I?! My AV will say...

Its tiring.

What am I gonna do different? Pray like there's no tomorrow. Urge surf. Read the blue book. Learn from you. And pray some more. Live my life 1 day at a time. Oh and I'm not hanging out at any slippery places anymore.

I don't and didn't really think I am a garden variety alcoholic.

What I've learned is I am overall just addicted to substance abuse be it alcohol, pills, or weed. I use a little of each so I don't overdo one of them... Then I say its in control.

Its gotta stop. Wish me luck.

Ok off to go get breakfast!

malcolmsloan

Hey, Fallow. I truly wish you the best on your first day. It's tough and it sounds like you are aware of that. Butr it is totally possible and every day gets a bit eaiser (in various ways). Keep us posted. I'm totally pulling for you.

soberclover

I get it as far as being tired of riding on the roller coaster of sobriety/not sober/sobriety/not sober. A crisis threw me off the roller coaster ride but it is good to hear that a non-crisis moment of clarity is pulling you in a different direction. Carry on!!

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back Fallow,You did it before, you can do it again. I have every faith in you-have faith in yourself

aasharon90

There's a whole bunch of saying I
would hear often that saved me a
whole bunch of times from drinking.

Faith without works is dead is one,
since I read what you wrote about
praying like there's tomorrow.

And.....It does work if we work it..!

Stick with the winners as they will happily
guide you along on ur journey.

mecanix

I said to a friend who's been sober 27 years , someone i felt accountable to , "this has got to stop" on the 3rd sept 2011 , I made it my top priority and it did ….

I hope and pray you have the same experience fallow

Bestwishes, m

Tamerua

Welcome back Fallow! You can do this.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Fallow.

I really hated that guy - the guy I'd become.
I used to avoid looking at myself in the mirror.

Ironic really cos I starting drinking and drugging because I didn't like myself...

but I genuinely I like who I am now...taking that yoke off my shoulders gave me the chance to pull myself upright, get comfortable with myself and my life, and to grow a little.

Here's to better days

D

Fallow

Thanks all. Breakfast was great. I ran into an old AA buddy too.

Quite a coincidence.

Anyhow yeah its overwhelming thinking that I had good sober time building up now I'm starting over in a sense. Sure I learned a ton and that's life but getting back to 9 months even seems like forever. Staying in today is imperative right now.

hypochondriac

Glad you're back at it Fallow

One thing I have learnt is that there is no such thing as a garden variety alcoholic. We are all different. But the solution is the same. You don't even have to be an alcoholic to benefit from sobriety x

Anna

Welcome back, Fallow!

Have faith in yourself that you can do this. You don't have to feel this away ever again.

Hevyn

It's great to see you again Fallow. Let's do this.