Flying4Life

I am on Day 89 today and I am still struggling. My life hasn’t gotten any easier since I stopped drinking. However, that is probably because the day after I quit I started this intensive post-graduate program. I have been under incredible stress for weeks now. I started working with this one group simply because they were sitting at the front of the class with me and seemed to be good students like me. That was a huge mistake! I have been bullied, ostracized, and overworked by them. They wasted many hours of my time with their obsessing over trivial matters. It isn’t even all of them, just one woman that the others are unwilling to stand up to. Being around her makes me want to get stoned or blind stinking drunk. I hate how stressful this situation has become. It is almost over, that is the only thing that gives me hope. I just want this stress to go away and I am having trouble coping. I am using every skill that I have in order not to pick up. The last thing I want is to fail myself because I am working with some type of psychopath. I just need to vent, there is plenty of alcohol here, but I don’t want to drink really, I just want this to be over without giving up the success that I have worked so hard to obtain.

Even the weekend is not bringing me relief now. This whole situation is seriously and negatively affecting my mental health… I think it might be triggering some symptoms I have of PTSD from growing up in an abusive alcoholic home. There is only one more week until exams and then I don’t have to work with her again. I feel so weak and pathetic that someone I don’t care about could have such a detrimental impact on me.

least

Do you have to work with this particular group? That one lady sounds like a big bully. All I can say is hang in there until exams are over. Then you won't have to see that person again.

PurpleKnight

Great job on 89 Days!!

mecanix

Vent all you want flying ,



Bestwishes, m

Flying4Life

Unfortunately I do have to work with them, but only until Wednesday of this week... I just need to make it until then and I will be in the clear I hope. It has just been going on for weeks and it is getting harder to cope with. I feel like I am on my last reserves of strength right now but if I can just keep going I will be okay. 90 days is coming up fast and I really want to stay sober and get thru this.

Dee74

You've done so well Flying - you can make it these last few days :

D

kadidee

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that, Flying4Life. She sounds like a nightmare. Just a few more days to go and then you'll be over and done with her and that project. And for every time she bullies you, think of all the people on SR who care about you. Imagine a big crowd of us standing behind you and staring her down. You can do it!

Raider

89 days!!! Yea!!!! Hang until Wednesday. You're doing fantastic.

Bird800

Hang in there Flying, not long now and you're doing great. You can get through this. Congrats on 89 days!

Anna

You can get through this!

hayley86

89 days is brilliant Flying. Stay strong. Best wishes.

malcolmsloan

89 impressive days. I'm totally pulling for you to get past that difficult situation. Stay strong.

JaylaaKent

I finished grad school three years ago. We had team projects - hated it - but it's just life. When you are in a work situation you will have those that pull their work and those that don't. Jumping into a new thing right away in new sobriety is also difficult. Congrats on 90-days and it's almost over! Keep it up.

Flying4Life

This situation is still going strong! I have never had to deal with these kind of sick group dynamics outside of my family before. Only 18 more hours until the assignment is finally over! I feel like the whole group hates me, they are struggling a lot, probably because the bully has become the leader and everyone is at their wits end. I feel like I am the scapegoat again, just like I was in my family growing up. This is so hard for me, it makes me want to quit! I just don't want to have a break down. I haven't had to deal with this kind of ongoing stress since before I quit drinking!

Dee74

I thought you'd finished that portion of assessment Flying?
In any case - todays the last day, right? you can do this

I can see how it can be triggering but this is not your family and you are no longer a child.

I really sincerely doubt everyone hates you - whats there to hate?

thats just stress and your AV talking - try to lay the ground for his mischief.

D

Flying4Life

I did finish my portion, but the others seem to be struggling with theirs and doing some kind of last minute rewrite... I am not totally clear on the details but they seem to be masters at over thinking things and missing the point of assignments. I have offered to help, that is the best I can do. They are causing themselves undue stress and panic and it is bleeding over to me. I just want this to be over.

Dee74

So maybe you're not being made the scapegoat as much as making yourself the scapegoat?

It's wonderful of you to offer to help - but if it's stressing you out - why not step back a little?

D

KateL

Please just put up with the haridan, it won't be for long. Put 100% into your exams they are so important. She isn't!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Flying4Life

That could be true...but I was just told that they resent me for not communicating enough and attending all the meetings. They just wasted my time so many times and then that one woman was nasty to me a few times, so I pulled back and now they want me to apologize/explain why I haven't been participating to the same extent. I don't know, I did my part well... I feel like they have been smothering me, and I also feel like I am just not good enough right now.

Dee74

All the rest is other's expectations of you, and your reflection of that

but...I know group dynamics, and I know it can be difficult - everyone wants to be liked, but sometimes that's difficult to achieve.

console yourself with the thought today is the last day?