SpartanGreen

Really glad you're fighting through it, SK. Inspiring!

sholtokiwi

I am back to considering getting the tall boys...

SpartanGreen

I think you should go get a pie or a quart of ice cream and eat the entire thing instead.

sholtokiwi

I just finished eating a sandwich, I'm too full to eat anything else right now, though that does sound nice

SpartanGreen

If you're not full enough to not drink beer then you're not full enough, I say.

phoebe64

Dee always says to me, "I have never regretted choosing to not drink." I aoway think of that when i am close to drinking. It is so true. Never wake up thinking, "Man, I wish I had that wine last night." Not once.

sholtokiwi

THAT, is actually very powerful.

foolsgold66

I read some of the things that didn't work in your first post. Maybe you should find something dirty and clean it. Or find something broke and fix it.

sholtokiwi

I have to think about when I wake up tomorrow morning. If I don't drink any alcohol, I will wake up feeling proud of myself for staying sober, and refreshed, etc. If I have two tall boys, I might feel a little bad...not sure. If I drink so much that I get *********, I know I will wake up hating the world.

But what if I buy two tall boys, just two, and don't drink any more than that...?

I know that sometimes I can't stop myself from buying more after I start drinking, but sometimes I can. A few times last week, I only had 1 pint or 1 tall boy of beer. I was actually able to control myself...

So what if I can control myself today...? What if I can drink those two tall boys and stop...?

MythOfSisyphus

I know how you feel, Sholtokiwi. I'd wager that almost everyone here has been in your shoes. All I can say is that the choice you make today will reverberate through the days to come. You have three days sober, and that is EPIC! Think how much work it took to get to three days. Now think of how it would feel to have to start over again.

What has your plan for quitting been up til now? Some people manage to "just say no" but if that was easy we'd all do it. Sounds like you could use a plan and some support. Holidays are extra lonely if you're lonely to begin with, but don't let that trip you up. Maybe consider going to a movie, or something else you enjoy doing that doesn't involve getting drunk.

For me AVRT was a lifesavery. You might want to do a google search for it. It works for me. This forum is also a real godsend. It's great to have a group of a few thousands other people that have struggled with the thing you're struggling with now.

Happy Thanksgiving! Pop in again if you need to, read some posts and let us know how you're doing, too. We all can get through this day together!

SpartanGreen

Think of the sense of pride you will have tomorrow morning and how empowering that will be if you don't drink today.

Renarde

I think you will still feel bad, anxious, and uneasy, because you now know you are an alcoholic and want to stay sober. It won't be fun tomorrow.

The first week is so hard. It does get easier - it truly does. But you have to grit your teeth and start stringing consecutive days together for that to happen.

foolsgold66

How bad did it suck, controlling yourself? What if it starts to suck too bad to do so, so you stop bothering to try? What if you start buying a case at a time?

Yes, I do consider those rhetorical questions....

Michelangelo

You dont know if you can control your self today and drink just two. Probably not. Anyway, it is too risky to try. As you know, if you drink two tall boys today, very soon you will drink 8, 10 or more. The only way is not drinking today.

sholtokiwi

GAH I hate this feeling right now. Half of me wants to go get alcohol because it will make me feel euphoric, but the other half is scared, hesitant, and worried about drinking alcohol...

I don't know if I can live the rest of my life without ever drinking.....

And if I do drink sometimes, I fear that I won't be able to do it in moderation

miko67

You might have two tall boys today and relax and it'll be cool. The next time might be the same and if you can repeat this with no problem without going over board then you might be ok. For me I could once or twice do it but the over riding part kicks in when I have that 3 or 4 th it says **** it and from there .... I go lol. So for me I dnt even see the point in one or two. It's ain't worth the struggle. It's your call , though . Don't beat yourself up , alot of great advise on this web site. Peace to you :-)

Dee74

you've already asked and answered this one...

D

MythOfSisyphus

None of us thought we could go the rest of our lives with drinking! That's pretty much what being an alcoholic means. But we can do it, you can do it, it's possible.

You know that drinking hasn't worked for you...why not try something else?

Carlotta

That's your AV speaking because the beast is throwing a tantrum and wants instant gratification and to drink now. Just don't drink tonight and tomorrow you can sign in to the 24 hours club and committ not to drink for the next 24 hours.
You can do it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-welcome.html
and remember, Cherry Fellowship is a short bus ride away and they have food. Meeting starts at 8

ZeldaFan

sholtokiwi, haven't heard from you in about an hour. Hope you are still holding strong!