Dee74

It exists for a lot of people....but I reckon if you have to ask the question, you're not one of those people.

Normal folks moderate without thinking.

I'm not one of those people - I may have stopped at one or two a few times? but there's many many hundreds of times I didn't.

Some of those times I had every reason in the world not to drink too much - peoples weddings, funerals, work in the morning, responsibilities, my partner pleading with me...and I couldn't stop.

D

JustOne

Dessert done. Stuffed. No booze for me! Feel good. Thanks all for helping in a moment of need!

LadyBlue0527

It blows right now and we all have been there. It won't blow tomorrow when you wake up though. The sense of satisfaction that you'll have that you did what was necessary is going to be quite the experience.

You can get through this, you really can!

Bird800

Congrats JustOne! That's awesome!!

Ruby2

Sounds like you are doing better and that is great. Struggling between wanting to not drink and wanting to drink is like sumo wrestling a gorilla. Exhausting. While reading the earlier bits that you weren't having fun made me think. I found that i never had fun because I wouldn't LET myself have fun unless I had a drink. Take it easy on yourself and give yourself permission to have fun without a drink. Just for today.

Last night I was standing at my back gate, coat on, keys in hand, ready to go buy beer. I was stressed out because my AH was on a roll, drinking and being unpleasant in general. I was certainly not having fun. But after wrestling the gorilla to the ground, I walked back into the warm light of my kitchen, deposited my purse on the table, took my coat off and joined my children. Was it easy? Heck, no. But I told myself that I didn't want to feel like garbage all today. The compulsion lifted and even the thought of the taste of beer turned my stomach. I am glad I didn't buy beer. I am glad I faced the day without feeling like I was crawling out of my skin.

You will have these days, especially early on. And this is a hard time of year. If you can get away to a meeting, even for an hour, I have found it helps. Hang in there.

malcolmsloan

That' actually good advice, jaynie04--today will end. When I was a kid, I'd go to my grandmother when I was down or in trouble. She'd just listen and say, "and this too shall pass." It'll pass, justone. I'm totally pulling for you. I'll send some cyber sober energy too, it's corny enought that it just might work!

deeker

Justone, You showed exactly how SR can help. Many people come in here day to day but don't use this forum for times like this. You did exactly
the right thing tonight! It shows that at least 51% of you wants sobriety. I think that totally rocks how you came here and talked it out with
others. Everyone else who joined in that conversation, you all rock too! That was just really cool to watch!

amandaw

You had me yelling at the phone, "don't do it!" So glad you didn't! Great job! Now I'm off to read your first post. I find those helpful.

Skye2

Justone - just woken up over here in the UK and SOOOO proud of you

Marcher13

JustOne it's Friday evening here -- I'm so pleased to see your success.

Lind

So proud of you JustOne! That took alot of courage! You can do this!!!!!

ClearMind

Great job, JustOne. Now you know you have the strength to do this!

JustOne

I want to thank you all again for the support. Woke up today and do feel great!

wpainterw

Better for you to be alone for awhile. Say you're not feeling well. That's certainly true is it not? Let them celebrate. There's too much at risk for you. Withdraw. Watch TV, Read a book. Just don't put yourself at risk by mingling. Several months from now things will be different. Right now your body physiology and chemistry is still very fragile and the risk of relapse is extreme. Your only obligation is to yourself and to your own sobriety. Every good wish to you.

W.

foolsgold66

JO - glad you got through the day. That is a strong 25% you have working for you, if you don't mind me saying so. You went to your room, you posted here, you found a way to get through it. I recall a time when I felt somewhat like 75/25 myself. I never would have sought help to not drink, I would have rationalized that 25% away in a split second or two.

JustOne

Thanks again! But I'm not in the clear yet. I can taste a cold beer. I can't say I won't ever drink again. No way. But I did stay sober yesterday so that's an accomplishment! My bro in law noticed I "didn't drink much". I told him I hadn't had any in 11 days. He said good for you. Nothing else.

Suekie

I'm feeling similar. I was on day 10 yesterday, too. Day 11 today. This is my first sober Thanksgiving since I was teenager. I'm in a bad mood. I almost gave in today but my husband talked me out of it (he's been an enabler in the past so I'm glad he did.. but that doesn't change the fact that I'm miserable.) Happy..err.. Holidays. :/

foolsgold66

It's completely okay not to feel 'in the clear'. In fact I think almost all who have arrested this affliction successfully will agree that there is no such thing. Acceptance of that is difficult but possible. You are just in a really tough situation to find that clarity now.

I don't post this to discourage, please also remember what I said about it feeling 'normal' not to drink. It can happen. I'm a stubborn bastid, I don't see rainbows or unicorns anywhere ever, but I could get there so to me that means others can too...

Suekie, sorry to hear you're in a bit of the same boat. You must distract yourself somehow to make it through these early trying times. This can be rough for people who have let drinking 'become' their lives. Cleaning things, fixing things, organizing things, reading, doing things online including posting here were helpful for me.

Venecia

You got through yesterday, JustOne, and you can make it for another day. SR at its finest -- a community of people supporting one another, including at the moments of greatest trial. Makes me glad to be here. This thread has reminded me where to come if the beast comes calling.

Thank you, SR.

Hevyn

I just read the good news JustOne. Along with everyone else, I'm so proud of you too. You got over a huge hurdle. You proved you can do it. I'm sure you didn't miss a thing by staying coherent.