long overdue
 

After a particularly devastating (for me and my partner and a good friend) incident Friday night, I have finally realized that I MUST change my life. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance after swallowing an entire bottle of sleeping pills while in the depression brought on by too much booze. My first AA meeting was about a dozen years ago, so this problem is nothing new. But I think I've finally found my "bottom" ... I HAVE to quit before I hurt myself and those people in my life that (for whatever reason) still love me. I am 45 year-old mother of 2 wonderful young men, I have a good job, and a good life. I clearly have demons that need to be dealt with from my past, and intend to exorcise those things from my life, but for now I simply will not drink. I am so thankful that I found this site. I know the road will not be easy but I think you all will help me on that journey. I haven't had a drink since that night, and do not even WANT one ...

Hi hokey. Welcome to SR!

:welcome Hokey :) Sorry to hear about your experiences the other night - good news is, you never have to go through that again :) Xx

Welcome, hokey.

Welcome hokey ,

stopping drinking was the first part for me , the second part was working on learning how to deal with stuff and be content with life not drinking .

Bestwishes, m

Hiya Hokey,

I can so relate to your story. It took me many years from the time I admitted there was a problem to the time I took my recovery seriously enough to stay stopped.

I'm not big on AA slogans, but "It takes what it takes" fits my experience perfectly.

Welcome, and I wish you all the peace you are looking for.

Be well

Welcome to SR, hokey. I am glad you are here with us.

Welcome hokey, this is a really great place for support. Glad you have joined us. :)

Welcome Hokey! This is a great resource for knowledge and support. Stick around for a while, you'll be glad you did!

Welcome to SR. I can certainly relate to those ambulance rides - had a few myself. It's definitely a scary place to be.

This is a good place to start your recovery. Glad you're here. :)

Welcome to the group hokey:) my last drink ended in an amblitory ride as well. Congrats on doing this, you won't regret it! Look forward to hearing more from you!

It DID scare me ... badly, but in a funny way, I'm kind of glad it happened (?) That sounds crazy, even to me! The worst part is how I feel about dragging two people that I love very much down to the bottom of that well with me.

Welcome, Hokey. The beauty of hitting a bottom is that you can't go down any further than that. When I reached mine there was a sense of relief tot he surrender that I was an alcoholic, that only change was in the cards, that only up was in the cards because I couldn't get any lower.

That doesn't mean there wasn't a major struggle ahead, but I could rise one step at a time.

Welcome to SR.

I understand that you wish you could have arrested your descent earlier, but you didn't drag anyone down. They took that ride willingly because they love you back.

Opportunity is knocking. Seems like you're ready to answer the door. :)

welcome to SR Hokey :)

D

Shame and embarrassment have driven me to "quit" in the past, and while those feelings are certainly there for me regarding my behaviour last weekend, they are not what is driving me this time. It's different somehow, and I'm not even sure why (fear might have something to do with it! LOL I real don't WANT to hurt myself, not when I'm sober) ... just thankful that it IS different.

Take advantage of the bottom that you got.
There is still one ULTIMATE bottom and many people do get there (oblivion)

your story is similiar to mine, ambulance ride, hospital stay, depression.

But i can tell you i am joyous today

Hello Hokey :)

Welcome hokey

Just had an amazing moment and thought I would share. Driving in to work through heavy fog and suddenly drove into a clear patch and it was glorious! what a great analogy for my life right now... wandering through the fog and suddenly stepping into the light. It didn't last long I was soon engulfed by fog again but I knew another clear patch was right around the next corner. :)