anchorbird

My sponsor says maybe its because I have finally realized that this is a life change, and I am not counting "to" a number. I feel like I have completely given my life over, its in God's hands.

Skye2

I've given up counting for the exact reason your sponsor said - I was counting 'to' a number and then when I reached it, it was like an anti-climax and I would end up 'celebrating'

serious

i have also stopped counting.
i only count one day -- today. i'm sober today. past and future are out of my reach. but i can focus on the now.

Flying4Life

It doesn't really matter what is normal, as long as you are doing what works for you.

Bruce292

I no longer count days. Should I slip I don't want all those days to be thrown down the drain. I've made real progress and I won't allow one slip to ruin that. I know roughly where my one year anniversary sits on the calendar and that's about it. Works for me. YMMV.

doggonecarl

At a certain point, counting days as they accumulate becomes a chore. Emphasis on accumulate. I have over three years sober. I couldn't tell you how many days that is unless I plugged it into a sobriety calculator. But I know the day I quit, and I take much pride in stringing those sober days together...one day at a time.

Count, Don't Count. There is no right answer. People get sober both ways. But I think the reason you might decide not to count should at least be given honest evaluation. Too often those who are opposed to counting are those who can't accumulate the sober time.

I understand the frustration of relapse and the disappointment of not being able to rack up the sober days. And counting made my failures that much more apparent. But counting didn't make me want to drink. Failing made me want to drink. Once I figured out how to succeed at my recovery, counting had a positive effect. Counting days became counting months and that, in turn, has become counting years.

I wish you equal success.

NewLifeAt60

After five years of not drinking for days/weeks at a time, I finally stopped as the result of a crisis which made it impractical to keep track. After the dust settled, I made note of the sober time and have continued to be thankful for it at various intervals. Knowing I could go certain time periods without drinking was useful to me when I previously thought I couldn't go a day without it. I'm sure others have many good reasons to keep track. But it's not essential and as noted by other posters, whatever works for you, day by day. God bless you in this journey.

DoubleBarrel

I check every once in a while, just out of curiosity. But counting was impossible to NOT do in the beginning, even though I had decided this to be a forever thing, because it was so hard.

Now, I am in a daily routine, one that does not include drinking, and I have changed many old patterns. Its actually amazing how little I think about it, when the obsession used to be consuming.

Threshold

I found counting days counter productive. Instead of focusing on living a sober life, I was focusing basically on drinking/drugging and the life I'd left behind. Felt like I kept looking back to that old familiar shore and then freaking out.

It was after a relapse that I stopped, didn't look back. I'm sober now. That's pretty much my story. I don't drink. Not that I am some flawed pathetic thing that must forever identify myself in regards to drinking/not drinking/ drugging/not drugging.

I am NOT saying that is why other people count days, nor judging why, how, if people count days. That was simply the way my personality/mind reacted to counting MY days.

I found out my sort of brain was better off not counting. But...that truly is the way my brain has always reacted to keeping track of time. I seem to actually experience it differently from other people. People say...doesn't it seem like yesterday when the kids were just learning to walk...and to me, no, it feels like ages ago, lifetimes ago...but not in a bad way, time just lasts longer to me than it seems to for most people.

totfit

There is a whole lot to life other that days not drinking. If counting days is a really big deal, then we are missing the forest for the trees, IMHO. I used to keep count and check off on an online calendar, etc. Life is much bigger than that.

NoJimmy

I think it's natural to check daily in the beginning. I've been crossing off days on the calender every day. Once I'm past 90-days I think I'd rather focus on years instead of months. I think we each find a way of dealing with our goals.

BeerTooth

After stopping for one year, I found that counting doesn't have as much meaning this time around.

LadyBlue0527

I think that counting dwindles as do urges and cravings. What once engulfed you becomes the norm.

In the beginning I always knew what day it was or what weekend it was. I can't tell you the exact number now. I'm at the point of knowing what month I'm on and I'm sure that will go away too.

If you think about the count off AA there's a pattern.

Day 1, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days (all 30 days apart)

4, 5, and 6 months (going by "months now" rather than 30 day periods)

fro 6 to 9 and then from 9 to 12 (3 month interval)

1 yr to 18 mos then to 2 yrs (6 month interval)

Yearly

It's a weaning process.

jdooner

I think between this response and Doggonecarl's it sums it up nicely. Count of don't count but in early days be mindful if your choosing not to count. I counted daily for the first 30. Then I checked the weeks till 60 then I was mindful of 90. I don't make a habit of marking an advent calendar but I know my sobriety date.

I hit 90 yesterday and I declined a 90day chip bc my home group celebrates one year. I am going to go collect the chip next time bc I realized in doing this my subconscious motives were to be "special" and "different" which I recognize are symptoms of my core problems. I think this is sort of how relapses happen. You do little things that by themselves don't mean anything but together its enough to pull you down. I mention this bc the not counting reminds me of this same thing - I don't want to count bc I am different, better, whatever…unless the intentions are pure and true (I think this is often a very very small percentage) in early days I do think its useful to count and build the muscles as a deterrent.

mecanix

If counting days makes one anxious then i can understand why people wouldn't want to count them. I see posts saying i made it to XX days and can't even achieve that now, or this is where i failed last time ARRRGH ! . So i can see how it might become a psychological hinderance as much as a some find it a motivator . Whatever works is the thing to do i guess .

Bestwishes, m

tomsteve

I stopped counting the days and made the days count.
im on today.

LadyBlue0527

I see a lot of this on here. Posts that state "I can never seem to make it past (insert longest time sober).

If you make a negative statement to yourself then when that point in time comes it's going to drag you right down. It also presents a point in time where it's not wise to do but expected that the first drink will be taking. It's fueling the AV and getting ready for expected disappointment. Great to be mindful of it though.

NoelleR

"...Day 1, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days (all 30 days apart)
4, 5, and 6 months (going by "months now" rather than 30 day periods)
from 6 to 9 and then from 9 to 12 (3 month interval)
1 yr to 18 mos then to 2 yrs (6 month interval)
Yearly
It's a weaning process..."

Back in the day, my friends and I got chips for day one (called a desire chip); one month; two months; three months; six months; nine months; and the anticipated one year. There was no 18 month chip; so we had to wait another year for our next chip.

I remember when the 18 month chip first became available here; just as/shortly after my friends and I celebrated two years. Boy howdy there were some new 4th/5th steps pouring out then. Some of us called (and still call) that 18 month chip the 'resentment' chip...............lolol

"...If you make a negative statement to yourself then when that point in time comes it's going to drag you right down..."

Absolutely correct. There's a law/belief that goes something like this.....: "Thought held in mind produce after their kind." Kinda like 'As a man thinks in his heart, so is he;' or 'As you sow, so shall you reap;' or 'What goes around, comes around;' or 'As you give, so shall you receive.' In other words, keep it positive..................

(o:
NoelleR

RobbyRobot

I'm totally proud of the thousands of days I have in sobriety, but this proudness is not the same thing as having selfish pride in a thing. I'm proud not to have sobriety as much as I'm awesomely proud to sustain being sober as a lifestyle I'm happily comfortable with each day.

I too counted at first, and why not? I'd never really been sober before, so it was a big deal not dying as a drunken drunk, lol. As the months and years went on, I stopped celebrating at 5 years. I had a cake shared with friends. I was 29 years old. Now I'm 56, and my celebrations with sobriety are very private. I don't count anymore exactly and haven't for years, but I still happily realise where I have come from, where I'm at, and where I'm going.

tangningsheng

Well it's in your hands. I don't look for a specific number, but I always am thankful that I am doing another day sober, so I check into the daily thread