I'm back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 479
I'm back
Lasted 10 days sober, my first actual attempt at sobriety in my life - have been a pretty serious binge drinker since I was 18. I'm 32 now. I stayed sober for 10 days most recently, before falling into the trap of thinking I could have just a few along with a whole bunch of reasons why I just needed to drink.
It's too bad because man about 5 days in I was feeling pretty good. Actually there were some moments that I felt almost too good. Didn't really know how to deal with that. Now that I'm reading this it seems strange to complain about feeling "too good" but that's just the truth for now.
Looking back at those days spent sober, I was hyper-productive for most of the time. I was probably doing too much. Ended up putting in some majorly longer hours at work and then going overboard with everything at home. For no good reason but that I think I needed it, not being drunk or hungover all the time to numb whatever it is I feel.
Anyway, the good news is I'm back. Today is Day 2 for me and I'm thinking that I may be learning from my most recent fall. I'm going to try being a little easier on myself in terms of not taking on a bunch of other stuff just in an effort to stay busy and sober. I will look toward staying busy but taking care of myself so I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm also hoping to stick with reading and posting more on SR. I have an appointment to see a counselor this week. I'm not partial to attending AA meeting in my area at this point but you never know.
It's too bad because man about 5 days in I was feeling pretty good. Actually there were some moments that I felt almost too good. Didn't really know how to deal with that. Now that I'm reading this it seems strange to complain about feeling "too good" but that's just the truth for now.
Looking back at those days spent sober, I was hyper-productive for most of the time. I was probably doing too much. Ended up putting in some majorly longer hours at work and then going overboard with everything at home. For no good reason but that I think I needed it, not being drunk or hungover all the time to numb whatever it is I feel.
Anyway, the good news is I'm back. Today is Day 2 for me and I'm thinking that I may be learning from my most recent fall. I'm going to try being a little easier on myself in terms of not taking on a bunch of other stuff just in an effort to stay busy and sober. I will look toward staying busy but taking care of myself so I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm also hoping to stick with reading and posting more on SR. I have an appointment to see a counselor this week. I'm not partial to attending AA meeting in my area at this point but you never know.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
A lot of folks go back to the drink because they can't tolerate the feelings they have while they're working to get sober. Same thing happens with people who start taking meds for things like anxiety and depression. Feeling good, or feeling "normal" just doesn't suit them.
Many of us would rather deal with the misery we know than the feeling of not knowing what will happen next. We trade hope for familiarity, content in the knowledge that we've lived with our misery for so long, it's become a part us we're unwilling to surrender.
Many of us would rather deal with the misery we know than the feeling of not knowing what will happen next. We trade hope for familiarity, content in the knowledge that we've lived with our misery for so long, it's become a part us we're unwilling to surrender.
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