Impossible to quit completely
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"How do you come to peace with the fact that you´ve been a bad parent at several occasions?"
i accepted the fact that i was a sick man and changed. not for anyone else but me.
i accepted the fact that i was a sick man and changed. not for anyone else but me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Victoria74 
What scares me with aa is to admit to complete strangers that I am a drunk. And what if I am recognized..what if someone from my work is there and the word gets around. i have nothing against aa, maybe I can find a meeting a bit away from where I live. But it annoys the hell out off me that i cannot seem to do this on my own. I am successful at other things I set my mind to, why is this so hard?
its wasn't admitting im a drunk. it was admitting im an alcoholic and want help.
i didn't do it to strangers. they already knew me even though they never met me.
i had no problem showing everyone around me i was a drunk and didn't care who saw me drunk.amazing thing today is with the many meetings i have been to and the thousands of alcoholics i have met, there are only 2 i have met that i had actually gotten drunk with. and wouldn't ya know it, they were happy to see me in AA!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 121
Had a slip yesterday but I know I won´t drink during the weekend. I find strength in this thread, and I want to quit completely, like someone wrote, quitting completely will give me freedom,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Victoria , it does change quite quickly with the kids once they get a bit older. Mine are nearly 13 and quite vocal of their opinions on my drinking and smoking now in a way they weren't two years ago. I think it's still a bit ok to congratulate yourself on cutting down so much ?? You're making improvements and focussing on the problem and not giving up that's gotta be good. I've avoided aa for best part of a year , I'm going for first time on Monday , I'll let you know how it goes for me. Truley terrified !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 121
Seiceps, I am thinking a lot about going to aa so it will be great to hear your experiences. I really don´t feel like drinking anymore. My first recovery priority was to not drink around the kids but I realized that I need to quit completely. I just sent a message to my sister that I will drive on Christmas and hence not drink. She also has problems with alcohol and did not react well to my decision. Well, I am not going to drink to please someone else anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
When I first came in here early this year I made friends with a fabulous woman who I connected with immediately. We exchanged a lot of messages. , had lots of similar experiences etc. all I know is I tried a few flimsy other ways to quit and she tried aa and hasn't drunk for 8 or so months. I know she was freaking out about it. A very smart person able to intellectualise why it wouldn't work as I've been doing too , but I'm over it. I'll give it a go bc doing it on my own isn't working. I live in a tight knit community and am terrified about who I'll see there. But bugger it !! It's never going to be as bad as that guilt and shame of waking up and wondering if the kids are ok ? What happened last night. ? Lately I've had some full in arguments with my nearly teen daughter that I don't remember. Just gross. Especially when you think if all that hard work we did bringing them up ? To waste it all on booze. ? I'll write a detailed post on Monday night -be warned. !!!! : )
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