Promising tonight will change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Springfield, mo
Posts: 11
Promising tonight will change
I'm new, I really need to quit drinking. I promise myself every night when I wake up I will not drink the following night but then 5:00 rolls around and I end up drinking a bottle or more of wine before the night's over. I have not tried aa because I'm afraid if I go I will see people I know or have to interact with on the business front. I also have little kids and the 530 meetings are not accessible - who wants to drag a five and four year old to an aa meeting? At their grumpiest time of day?
My husband is also struggling with alcohol abuse and is a bad influence on me, probably because he doesn't want to lose his drinking buddy. I wish I could be the person who has a glass of wine and quits, but it is always a drink till I essentially pass out right after my kids go to bed. Someone help me please! I am surrounded by a family that has alcohol at all events and a family history of alcoholism on both sides. I have no one to talk to about this but I know it has to stop for the sake of my health and for my children.
My husband is also struggling with alcohol abuse and is a bad influence on me, probably because he doesn't want to lose his drinking buddy. I wish I could be the person who has a glass of wine and quits, but it is always a drink till I essentially pass out right after my kids go to bed. Someone help me please! I am surrounded by a family that has alcohol at all events and a family history of alcoholism on both sides. I have no one to talk to about this but I know it has to stop for the sake of my health and for my children.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, GreenAcres. Welcome to SR!
You've found a great place of support and understanding.
Wine was my poison of choice as well, and I didn't have much support in real life. SR helped me tremendously. It will also help you to make a plan for your sobriety - things to do when cravings hit you, recognize and identify your triggers, resist temptation to drink with you hubby, etc.
In my early sobriety I posted here a lot - still do. Often just venting out and sharing struggle with other people who understand helped a lot.
Best wishes to you.
Take care, keep posting)
You've found a great place of support and understanding.
Wine was my poison of choice as well, and I didn't have much support in real life. SR helped me tremendously. It will also help you to make a plan for your sobriety - things to do when cravings hit you, recognize and identify your triggers, resist temptation to drink with you hubby, etc.
In my early sobriety I posted here a lot - still do. Often just venting out and sharing struggle with other people who understand helped a lot.
Best wishes to you.
Take care, keep posting)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
You sound exactly like me except I don't have kids. I would vow the morning after my one or two bottles of wine that I would never drink again, then suffer through a busy day at work totally hungover and exhausted, only to buy wine on the way home and start the cycle again. It was depressing, soul destroying and a miserable way to live a life. What convinced me to stop drinking was being sick of being tired and sick. Try a month not drinking and see how you feel. Check into SR and read the threads that interest you. You are not alone. Sending hugs.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by GreenAcres 
I wish I could be the person who has a glass of wine and quits...
You listed some things you can't/won't do to quit. What can/will you do to quit?
Seems like you need additional information. This forum is full of great information about different approaches to sobriety. If you're willing to read for a while I can guarantee you will find out some things you didn't know before - and one of them might be just what you need.
Good luck on your journey!
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by Pipping
You sound exactly like me except I don't have kids. I would vow the morning after my one or two bottles of wine that I would never drink again, then suffer through a busy day at work totally hungover and exhausted, only to buy wine on the way home and start the cycle again. It was depressing, soul destroying and a miserable way to live a life. What convinced me to stop drinking was being sick of being tired and sick. Try a month not drinking and see how you feel. Check into SR and read the threads that interest you. You are not alone. Sending hugs.
I don't know if this will help, but I did get an alcohol counsellor as I just didn't know what to do anymore.
You have come to the right place Green Acres. You will find lots of support and help here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 8
Hi GreenAcres,
I, too, have many of the same feelings as you. I just got so tired of my pattern of drinking wine every night. I know that it was taking days, months, even years off my life. I know without a doubt that it was hurting my kids. I stumbled across SR yesterday morning, read the stories and felt empowered and inspired by this community. It was clear to me that yesterday was the day to start. So I did.
I just made it through Day 1. It was easier than I thought. I kept myself distracted with fun things. The few times I felt tempted, I hopped on SR, read some messages, and found renewed strength. Before I knew it I looked at the clock and it was 10:00pm and time for bed. I slept great and woke up feeling better than I have in a long, long time.
Today is Day 2 and the beginning of Weekend 1.
This is a terrific place for support and inspiration.
Amy
I, too, have many of the same feelings as you. I just got so tired of my pattern of drinking wine every night. I know that it was taking days, months, even years off my life. I know without a doubt that it was hurting my kids. I stumbled across SR yesterday morning, read the stories and felt empowered and inspired by this community. It was clear to me that yesterday was the day to start. So I did.
I just made it through Day 1. It was easier than I thought. I kept myself distracted with fun things. The few times I felt tempted, I hopped on SR, read some messages, and found renewed strength. Before I knew it I looked at the clock and it was 10:00pm and time for bed. I slept great and woke up feeling better than I have in a long, long time.
Today is Day 2 and the beginning of Weekend 1.
This is a terrific place for support and inspiration.
Amy
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
you might find some good tips there ,
Welcome to SR
bestwishes, m
you might find some good tips there ,
Welcome to SR
bestwishes, m
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Green Acres. I was an at-home drinker like you as well, and I have younger kids too. And I also used to promise myself each morning that i would cut back or quit tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. I also have a family that while perhaps isn't filled with alcoholics, drinking is a common thing around the home.
The good news is that you can quit, but you have to make changes in your life to do so. That means maybe making time for AA if you would like to try AA. There are meetings that kids can go to, there are meetings all times of the day as well. SR is also a great resource , i use it as my primary support in sobriety. There are also methods like AVRT that you can do on your own.
The bottom line though is that you will have to make time for yourself to work on sobriety, no matter what method you choose. That will mean making changes that you may not be comfortable with - like telling your husband that he needs to give you time to go to AA meetings just as an example. You have to want sobriety more than you want drinking....and it is worth it.
The good news is that you can quit, but you have to make changes in your life to do so. That means maybe making time for AA if you would like to try AA. There are meetings that kids can go to, there are meetings all times of the day as well. SR is also a great resource , i use it as my primary support in sobriety. There are also methods like AVRT that you can do on your own.
The bottom line though is that you will have to make time for yourself to work on sobriety, no matter what method you choose. That will mean making changes that you may not be comfortable with - like telling your husband that he needs to give you time to go to AA meetings just as an example. You have to want sobriety more than you want drinking....and it is worth it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 8
The cravings link is so helpful. I especially like the note about timing the duration of a craving. I think there can be something powerful in that and knowing it goes away. I will use that this weekend if I need to! I am being careful not to put too much weight on the word "weekend" though. Friday is just another day, as are Saturday and Sunday.
I am truly excited about hanging out with my kids and husband as a sober woman this weekend. We can play a board game, do a puzzle, watch a new TV show together, go to a movie after dinner.. Somehow my wine habit became more of a priority. :p
I am truly excited about hanging out with my kids and husband as a sober woman this weekend. We can play a board game, do a puzzle, watch a new TV show together, go to a movie after dinner.. Somehow my wine habit became more of a priority. :p
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 377
Welcome Green Acres. I will say that I wished I could be that person who has 1 and is done. I wished so badly that after almost 5 weeks of sobriety I slipped and had a drunk night last weekend. I am back at day 6 now and WILL NEVER drink again. All reservations are GONE!!!!
I will keep you in my thoughts, and your children. I have a 9 year old and she loves having a sober mommy.
I will keep you in my thoughts, and your children. I have a 9 year old and she loves having a sober mommy.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Pleased to meet you GreenAcres. 
You'll find the support & encouragement here to be so helpful! No one understands like us - and we know just what you're going though. It sounds like you're drinking out of habit & it isn't really enjoyable any more. It was bringing me nothing but misery in the end - but I still was afraid to let go of it. I'd used it for so long to cope with life, even though it wasn't doing a thing to help me. It will feel so good to be free of it. You can do this!
You'll find the support & encouragement here to be so helpful! No one understands like us - and we know just what you're going though. It sounds like you're drinking out of habit & it isn't really enjoyable any more. It was bringing me nothing but misery in the end - but I still was afraid to let go of it. I'd used it for so long to cope with life, even though it wasn't doing a thing to help me. It will feel so good to be free of it. You can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi and Welcome,
I was an at-home, nightly wine-drinker too. And, I can sure remember making sincere promises to myself over and over again. You can stop drinking tonight and be the person and the mother that you want to be. It's not ideal that your husband drinks, but you can determine to make your choice to live a sober life. Can you spend the evening in a different part of the house, maybe reading or watching a movie?
We do understand how hard this is.
I was an at-home, nightly wine-drinker too. And, I can sure remember making sincere promises to myself over and over again. You can stop drinking tonight and be the person and the mother that you want to be. It's not ideal that your husband drinks, but you can determine to make your choice to live a sober life. Can you spend the evening in a different part of the house, maybe reading or watching a movie?
We do understand how hard this is.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
