meangirl66

My huaband gave me a last chance a month ago
And things were going well until last night
When i slipped passed out after talking on phone
Texted him today, how r u? His respinse, sober
Hes not an alcoholic, so home i go to realize
Ive destroyed my life

Amy2011

If you really want to change your life and be sober then find a program of recovery, commit to the program, and follow through. Your life didn't spiral out of control overnight and you can't fix it in one night. Good luck! Sobriety is worth the journey to a happier life.

JaylaaKent

It's never a problem, until it becomes a problem. Sounds like you and your spouse are in this merry-go-round of you drinking, him getting mad, you repent, you drink, he gets mad, you repent, yada yada - No sure what you are needing or wanting? Your life isn't over, even IF (BIG IF) you get a divorce. People do it everyday.

NoJimmy

Good advice above, I'd like to add that I've come to the conclusion that sobriety needs to be my #1 priority. If I don't have that, I can lose loved ones, money, property, freedom, life, etc.

Nonsensical

I'm sorry that things seem bad now, but if you keep drinking they will get worse.

Alcohol is a thief, and that voice in your head that tells you "one more time. It'll be OK this time" is a liar. We deserve better than thieves and liars.

What are you willing to do to get better? There's information on the different kinds of help available all over this forum. Something will work for you. BELIEVE IT.

Carlotta

So what is your plan? I see that you ve been a member since 2011, what have you been doing for your sobriety and what do you plan to do differently this time?

wiscsober

wishing you the best.

meangirl66

I am so tired of being ashamed, tired of tecriminations,
Apologies are so lame , i dont want to listen
To it, i am at fault and i am si mad at myself , i was feelimg
Great them stopped going to mtgs and here i
Am again praying that god helps me but u
Never get that feeling because i slip and am
Ruining my life

jat14

I'll just say that I completely ruined a 9 year relationship with my drinking. I chose booze over someone that I loved. I obviously wasn't ready to give up alcohol and went on for many years aimlessly wondering why I wasn't happy. You have to do this for YOU. You are important and deserve to be happy but that can't happen until you realize that alcohol is taking away good things in your life.

Nonsensical

I waited a long time for God to miracle my butt sober. It made me very frustrated. I think he expects us to make our own miracles. You seem like you're ready to make yours. There's work to be done. What are you willing to do to make your own miracle?

Dee74

welcome back

I think the best thing to do now is look at your options - AA or some other group, counselling, inpatient outpatient rehab...or something else - and really really go for it..

If you want to be done and never feel like this again, you can be. You really can

Hevyn

Meangirl this can be the last time you ever have to feel this low. Here's where it can end. There's no doubt that you can get sober and stay that way. We believe in you.

Carlotta

A good start would be joining us at the 24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours. Before you know it, those 24 add ups
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elcome-21.html
Like the others said, you never have to feel that way again

BarbieKen

Meangirl those who posted here do care, good suggestions too. I do believe in miracles and being active daily in my own sobriety. As some of us say at the end of the Serenity Prayer, it works if YOU work it. Bobbi

Leana

So, what happen when you got home?

Charliee

I know how you are feeling because I have been there and done that. My husband gave me "one more chance" a few times and I know I am completely out of chances. I am not willing to risk it again. I have lost a lot of trust and respect in our relationship and am really try to get that back, even though I know it will never be the same. Hang in there, prove you want it. I know for me, I couldn't even stand to hear myself apologize anymore because it made me feel sick hearing myself say it over and over. Of course I was sorry, we all truly are, but I had to give up on the "I'm sorry's" and start proving it to everyone who is counting on me. It takes time and it seems like everyone is just waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it can come back to you. Try to come up with a plan, make your intentions clear to your husband and try to understand where they are coming from, it's really hard for them to keep putting themselves out there once again and take the chance of being hurt again. You need to do this for you first and everyone will start believing in you again. Best of luck to you, this can be your last time relapsing and new beginning to an awesome and sober life

SnoozyQ

Hiya meangirl
I feel mean calling you mean girl ! Lol

Glad you are back , hope we can help you xxx

Croissant

I completely agree with this.

Alcohol became my first love.

Meangirl.....I don't mean to sound harsh, but do you want to stop drinking?

JaylaaKent

I tried to stop drinking for my ex - but then realized since I've been sober, the marriage was pretty bad, I'll spare you the details. I also have realized that I did a LOT of drinking to escape all the problems in my life. Once you get some time from you and the drink, your brain/emotions will settle down, and you might come to the same conclusion. Shaming someone, threatening, and ultimatums never worked for me. As a woman I can share with you that working on myself through recovery, I let a lot of those things happen (shame, abuse, etc) because I felt I didn't DESERVE anything else. I was unhappy so I drank more, relapsed, never again. After I went through a divorce and got out of the toxic environment, I feel sorry for the woman I was and want to hug her and tell her it will be ok. Since being sober - I ended up filing the divorce earlier this year, and then subsequent bankruptcy. What a relief off of my shoulders. Last year this time, I was pondering suicide over my ex - how f*cked up is that?? Alcohol - we drink it to escape, little do we know it's keeping us in a mental and emotional prison. We are a nuclear bomb that goes off in all of our loved one's life. I know that feeling of desperation - begging God to make it better and go away. He will make it better - but not in how or the way we want. Change is painful. Meangirl I hope your husband can have a turn of heart and show compassion and love to help you - if not love yourself to get better and feel you deserve a happy sober life. Your life will get better if you stop drinking, it won't be butterflies and roses, but it will get better. I only have a short sober time and am seeing the benefits already. Please call a health care professional (counselor, dr) someone you feel comfortable talking to about this. There is TONS of help out there - especially for women. You have to see your way isn't working, and you can't control this. It's not your fault - and you are not alone in your recovery. You just have to ask and be willing to do the work.

KateL

I always begged my ex to take me back and he always did. Then I got sober and realised he was all wrong for me anyway. Now happy and single. If you really love each other, you can work it out. Especially if he see you are trying so hard. You will get there in the end.xx