malcolmsloan

I'm getting started on night two. I was so tired throughout the day. On the way to pick up my son from preschool, I saw a guy in my rearview mirror throw up his hands because he did not like how I was driving: I had stopped to let another driver pull into a gas station. I got so pissed and without thinking the thought raced into my head-"I can't wait to have a few drinks tonight." I had no time to stop the thought, it just happened. I actually had to really work to get grounded and get my thoughts back to here, now, making the right decisions. But it's hard. I joined the 24 hr. group, and that is what I intend to do: stay clean for the next 24. I'm again scared of the insomnia, but I just have to let it go. It just gets so lonely, quiet, and isolating, watching the clock tick into the morning hours. Keep an eye out for me late. I may need some encouragement--but I hope I'm asleep! I look forward to posting in the morning that I was successful.

Mikie9

I am only a couple of days ahead of you, and I have the same thoughts. At work when I am getting stressed out I used to get thru it by knowing I could be drunk in a few hours and it didn't matter. Those thoughts still pop in just like before. I end up having a very difficult time not going with this feeling, but so far I have and it is getting a little easier.

The sleep thing was my main concern. So far, eating quite a bit just before going to bed seems to be doing the trick. I am staying up much later than before and getting less hrs of "sleep" in, but I am feeling better rested more and more each morning.

I haven't gone more than 4 nights without drinking in 20 yrs, so I am nervous about tomorrow, but reading so much on this site the last week or so has given me somewhat of a hope that I will make it thru the change.

ZeldaFan

I remember my first week and my first three nights vividly. The first two especially were really hard. I was up with anxiety and sweating almost the entire night. It took about a week and then sleep started to come more naturally. Once you get over the initial hump, you will be so thankful you stuck with it. I'm so thankful for my restful sleep and hangover free mornings now!

wiscsober

Pulling for you Malcom. You are doing well. ODAAT.

Venecia

You had a victory today. I think one of the reasons we are addicts is that we "gave ourselves permission" at increasing turns. Bad day at work? Drink/drug. An unhappy personal encounter? Drink/drug. Pretty soon ... . Well, I think you know.

Give yourself credit for a victory today. They start to add up, as do your sober days. Interestingly enough, that voice starts to fade into the background until it's no longer there.

Nonsensical

Insomnia is so common among us alcohol addicts that we have a whole forum on it:

Insomnia/Nightmares - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Check it out if you haven't already. Lots of tips in there for helping get past it.

Keep going, brother. It's hard.

Hard makes it great.

You seem like you're ready to be great.

Mikie9

wow thank you nonsensical, just what i need

malcolmsloan

Mikie9, I have not gone past 4 days sober in 6 years. Sounds like we are in similar spots. And thanks everyone for the support. It really means a lot to not feel alone.

zeppodog

The insomnia will pass after a few days hopefully, mine lasted about 5 or 6 days and by a week and a half I was sleeping pretty good. It makes recovery pretty tough when you can't sleep. Hang in there, you will be glad you did.

Mikie9

You are not alone. Even laying awake at 2 am with the same thoughts you had at 6pm. I am still new here, but I can confidently say everyone here has been there.

It is what I think about sometimes to help me work it out in my mind.

DoubleDragons

After a few nights of scary dreams, insomnia and panic attacks, I took Dramamine for about a week when I first quit drinking. I am now ending Day 54 and I have slept like a log for weeks, without any extra help.

Leana

The insomnia was hell for me at first and then I really started to enjoy my 3AM alone time. Sure I was tired for work the next day but instead of lying in bed watching the seconds tick by, I got up and got to work. I repainted the entire downstairs of my house (including ceilings, baseboards & doors).

It started one morning as I was wondering around the house and kept passing a small piece of wallpaper in the foyer that was coming unglued; and out of nowhere, I just ripped it off. No stopping now. So, I stripped the old wallpaper, patched and sanded holes and then just started painting. When I got to the kitchen, I learned how to install a backspash; I even removed the vent hood above the stove and installed a microwave! All between 3AM and 5AM. At 5AM, I cleaned up, took a shower and went to work. It took me about 3 months to finish but who cares!

My husband was an absolute saint about the whole thing. At one point I think I had 5 different colors of paint on one wall, unable to decide which color I wanted. He never complained about me making noise, or the mess, he just let me do my thing.

And now it looks....great! So embrace that insomnia.