another sober stretch ruined...whats wrong with me?!?!
Beating yourself up only feeds the negativity and I think actually makes it easier to drink again.
Use that energy productively Lor - use it to think about what you can add to what you've been doing...
you need never have to feel like this again
D
Use that energy productively Lor - use it to think about what you can add to what you've been doing...
you need never have to feel like this again
D
think of alcoholism as a disease. people don't chose to have diabetes, but they do have to chose to take care of themselves if they end up having it.
take care of yourself, ask for help, you don't have to do this on your own
take care of yourself, ask for help, you don't have to do this on your own
This is why the cycle continues. We actually set ourselves up to relapse. We plan them even though we think we don't. Do not let this disappointed or being fed up with yourself take over. Feeling this way means we are giving up and setting ourselves up for another relapse. Please don't do this. You are SO WORTH the battle.
Looking back I know I set myelf up for failure and I did it on purpose. I did it for many reasons. Fear of actually quitting, just not quite ready yet, feeling sorry for myelf and actually thinking that I'm not worthy of something better. Thinking that i don't deserve it. Thinking that I can't do it so why bother. But I did it. And you can to. It is there.
We all deserve a life of peace and contentment and to be happy.
Looking back I know I set myelf up for failure and I did it on purpose. I did it for many reasons. Fear of actually quitting, just not quite ready yet, feeling sorry for myelf and actually thinking that I'm not worthy of something better. Thinking that i don't deserve it. Thinking that I can't do it so why bother. But I did it. And you can to. It is there.
We all deserve a life of peace and contentment and to be happy.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
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Maybe you aren't ready to let go? Perhaps finding out where the fear lies that makes you reach out again for alcohol is the key?
Oh Lorelei, I'd just logged out - about to go to bed. But just read through your post, and want to add to the cheer squad for you. Every single person understands how you feel, and (I think, all) have been where you are now. I certainly have.
I certainly agree with everyone's reflections / suggestions - but LadyinBC really nailed it I reckon. Yep, feeling like we've 'failed' the sobriety 'test' - and life - is a real danger zone. I should know. Expressing our disappointment with ourselves is sort of to be expected - but it's so true that it can open us up to just sliding down further into the arms of 'Mother': Alcohol. A very nasty mother figure, indeed.
I'm rooting for you luv, just as much as I have to for myself.
xx
Vic
I certainly agree with everyone's reflections / suggestions - but LadyinBC really nailed it I reckon. Yep, feeling like we've 'failed' the sobriety 'test' - and life - is a real danger zone. I should know. Expressing our disappointment with ourselves is sort of to be expected - but it's so true that it can open us up to just sliding down further into the arms of 'Mother': Alcohol. A very nasty mother figure, indeed.
I'm rooting for you luv, just as much as I have to for myself.
xx
Vic
You ask what is wrong with you Lorelai? I say NOTHING! Think of all the sober days you've had since 31st August that you wouldn't otherwise have had if you didn't decide to take this journey. Stop being so hard on yourself (believe me I know it's a difficult cycle to break!) and put that energy into recovery! Look at the times you've slipped and what the triggers might have been and think about how you might deal with it differently next time.
Wishing you as always the best for your recovery
Wishing you as always the best for your recovery
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