Ruby2

I am typing this to get it out of my system and then will try to go to bed. I have been thinking of drinking today and want to get it out of my head. I won't act on it tonight but I am concerned. I may try to get up for my old regular six a.m. Meeting.

The big issue right now is that my husband is also an alcoholic/addict and he is wanting a drink right now which will lead to him using. He hasn't had anything since early Tuesday morning. He just came in and asked "you don't want to drink beer do you?" Obviously hoping I would run out of the house to go buy some.

I resisted temptation and the more I type here the better I am feeling. Phew! I think that playing out the tape of what HE would do if he drank made me dig in my heels on me not drinking. Sometimes that pig headed determination of the alcoholic works out in the right direction. I blew ten and a half months in August. I have eight days now. I can do this. One day at a time. In typing this the urge has passed and I can play out the tape if I were to pick up.

Dee74

I'm glad you got through that ruby - great going..you won't wake up tomorrow regretting your choice

D

Ruby2

Hi Dee. I won't regret my choice but I will regret not going to bed earlier . I've been feeling good and don't want to blow it.

MythOfSisyphus

It will get easier with time. How will you handle your husband drinking, though? Seems like that would make it kind of difficult.

FeelingGreat

Hi Ruby the cravings will hang around for a while, especially with hubby drinking, but your confidence will grow as you resist them.

BeachyBoy

Great job at resisting! I am am now beyond 8 days now working on 9 like you.

Ruby2

Thanks. Will handle my reactions to my AH by doing my steps, doing meetings and reading family and friends threads. I have a history of enabling and co dependency and the character defects of trying to fix, manage and control.. I will work my side of the street.

Made a meeting this morning already which is good. Even though I didn't drink I still awoke feeling hungover because of the emotional drain of venting instead of doing. Yuck. Venting is like a doing shots. You get a quick rush but feel like poop afterwards. Best to avoid if it can't be done in moderation.

Scampered

Well done Ruby2. I was reading your posts on the edge of my seat. Thank god for your strength and determination. I think you should be feeling mighty proud of yourself right now. I would of I were you. I don't face half of the challenges you do and still cave sometime. Stay focused, drink plenty of water and exercise. I think you achieved so much last night. Wow.

Good on you.

anchorbird

WAY TO GO!! Yes, sometimes just typing or talking it out will kick those temptations to the curb. Pat yourself on the back!

Hawkeye13

Well done Ruby! I know what you mean about the hangover-without-drinking feeling. I've been getting that a lot and it makes me made since I didn't "earn" it like I used to.

Toffee1

Well done ruby. You know from the past that you can string out a lot of sober weeks. Draw on those experiences to help you now. You can do this you know you can. Good luck

Ruby2

Hawkeye, you made me laugh with that. I guess it is a gentle reminder of what the consequences of actually drinking alcohol would be - minus the anxiety. Lately that has only come when I have had too much caffeine.

Husband wants to meet at a meeting tonight so I will go there from work. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Carlotta

You sound just like me
I see my alcoholism as an expression of my codependency. Good going on not picking up and congratulations on 8 days