Ruby2

Maxpower,

Glad that you went to the doctor. Do you have someone with you to keep an eye on you while you continue to detox?

Please heed some of the other poster's comment about feeling good after the valium, etc. and then picking up a drink. I've done it myself. It only leads to trouble. And another withdrawal.

Keep us posted.

JaylaaKent

A lot of people don't realize how detrimental alcohol is and how seriously it can impact your body (because it's a legal drug). I agree with what others have said - if you have a serious health problem occur from not getting yourself checked out - you'll have permanent damage on top of medical bills.

maxpower2013

my gf was with me to make sure nothing goes bad but i keep having mood swings n told her to leave so she wouldnt have to worry about me
now im all by myself in the house and already thinking of drinking

Croissant

Do you want to keep drinking?

Or is this a craving?

I'm glad your doctor sent you to ER, but are there plans to visit your doctor again? Is rehab a solution in your area? Again, remembering we are in Australia, so we have access to a range of treatment centres that are covered by the public system and different medical insurance system to the US system.

You might want to discuss this with your doctor if you are near a major town and what subsidised programs are available, even as an outpatient.

Ruby2

Just writing to say I've been reading this thread and thinking of what you are going through. Can your girlfriend come back? Is she supportive? I ask because I know that when I am feeling most vulnerable and wanting to drink, being alone in an empty house is a giant trigger. The silence is a killer along with being isolated in my own thoughts that perhaps a drink wouldn't be so bad after all.

If you can it might help immensely to just get out of the house and get moving. If you can get to a meeting and are open to going, that might help. The thoughts inside my head are my own worst enemy.

Stay strong. You can do it.

GillianChicago

Max, are you around?

SweatyHands

Max, a few things: First, the fear of withdrawal was what kept me from quitting for way too long. It kept me from quitting for so long that I was in constant agony because the amount of alcohol it took to keep the withdrawal symptoms away was more than what my body could handle. Second, seizures suck. Now you have first hand experience with how painful, exhausting and humiliating they are. Not only that, but they can be deadly. I know that I never want to feel another seizure again if it is in my power to prevent it from happening. If we never drink again, we will hopefully never have to suffer through that again. Third, you stated that you can't afford the medical care that you need to detox under supervision, or at least under a Dr.s guidance. Well, now that you have gone to the er, if you drink you are more than likely going to have to pay for another er visit out of pocket. Fourth and most importantly, every sober hour that I get between me and my last drink, my brain un-clouds more and more and I have a better understanding of what I want to do to stay sober, happy and healthy. You took the first and scariest step. Great job! Keep it up and good luck with your next move in sobriety!