padawanxox

I'm looking for advice as I end my 6th day... My meeting today focused on family.. Left my night class early to make my 4th class in a row.
I'm getting frustrated because I leave for the midwest to go see family 27-30, and I haven't told ANYONE I'm in NA yet.

2 Thanksgivings ago I was addicted to opiates (By my Doctor, not street) for 3 years & my family pretty much attacked me, and said go to rehab or we're done with you. So, I kicked them myself in my room for 3 days with the worst withdrawals ever.

This summer, I was on vaca w my family, and I "drank in excess" and my Aunt accused me of being an alcoholic (Which I am) But, I feel like I want to tell them, I want to tell my mom, I want to tell my friends... But I don't all at the same time.

I don't want to have all those expectations latched to that. I wanna say "HEY LOOK, I'M CHANGING", but I don't want to deal with them expecting everything from here to be crystal clear. I'm so lost. Any advice?

I've privately messaged some of you, but my anxiety as the date approaches multiplies by 100 daily.

What am I going to say when my Aunt asks what I want to drink... "No thanks"? Because it'll follow with about 7 why's from 7 diff people. I don't want to say "Because I'm sober" because just like before, that'll bring doubt, questioning, and the suggestion and implication of future false hope. I don't want them to know... How can I say no without saying why?

Some have suggested I go to a meeting out there, but I am car-less. To ask my family to drive me somewhere without telling them what I'm going to is... Well asking for a lot of speculation. I wish I could just leave for an hour or two, even if I call a cab - But, I'd be forced to tell someone why.

I'm once again, asking for your help - Any advice...
This is causing me so much strife. I'm sorry to bombard those that have seen my posts before...

:help

NorCal1970

Admitting to others that I was an alcoholic was the most important step for me. As far as how to answer why you don't want to drink just tell them you feel better when you don't. Hang in there.

Flying4Life

Yeah, they might ask why...and you can say whatever you want, you don't feel like it maybe. What is more important...what they think or how you want to live your own life?

Dee74

There are some great tips here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D

advbike

I also used to not tell people when I wasn't drinking - that way there was no one to hold me accountable if I decided to drink. Basically I wasn't committed yet. If you tell them then it does set some expectations. So, are you committed?

By the same token, if they all drink and it will be too rough for you in early sobriety it's also okay to cancel and not go. Your sobriety should be your highest priority. You can tell them it's very hard right now and you need support or have to stay home. Not to say they have to not drink, but hopefully they will respect your decision and not shove it in your face. If they're not generally supportive of your sobriety efforts then I would stay away.

Leana

When I first stopped drinking, I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to admit to myself that the reason I didn't was my fear of failure. If I relapsed, only I would know. Another big reason I didn't want anyone to know is that if I decided to drink again, I didn't want to take the chance that anyone would try to stop me.

Others might say I wasn't really committed to stopping but is not true. I wanted more than anything to stop and in fact, I did, and I have never relapsed. It wasn't lack of commitment, it was the fact that I just could not face failure.

I didn't tell anyone until I was nearly 2 years sober. Yup, 2 years. And now at 5+ years, even those closest to me don't know the extent of my alcohol problem. But its not because I fear failure anymore. Now its more that I just don't think its any of their damn business.

padawanxox

Thank you all for your suggestions - I'm obligated to go. I have a family member with few years left, and I might need to make amends while I can, while they're here.

Thank you everyone - I have to face my fear of FAILURE as some of y'all said <3