anonymick

I blew it trying to get to my first AA meeting. I could tell there wasn't a lot of people there...I guess I wanted it to be a big meeting where nobody would bother talking to me...I walked halfway to the door and then pretended like I forgot something in my car. Turned around and drove away.

I want to get the help but I feel so anxious not knowing anyone or what to really expect. I'm pretty freaked out/scared over it.

thatslife

i feel the same way at times, just know that no one there judges anything and it will be okay sometimes we have to do things that we arent comfortable doing, at first. then we realize its okay, thats how we grow, imo

SoberForMySon

Suck it up and go. Best choice I ever made. Had a rough night tonight and used those phone numbers. You can do it!

UrbanFarmer

Thats how I was, but usually the people don't pry into you're business...just introduce themselves. My first meeting was so uncomfortable and I just wanted to run out. But I stayed and now I go once a week on Tuesday nights, nothing crazy. I just sit and listen, no pressure and I feel calm when leaving. Good Luck.

wehav2day

mick, you can do this! is there another meeting tonight somewhere you can go to?

I was just like you. I was so afraid to go to a meeting. I have a sensitive job. I was very afraid i'd end up walking into a meeting with someone I knew through work. I was afraid i'd see someone I knew around town. I was afraid i'd be forced to speak. I was afraid i'd feel compelled to speak and make a fool out of myself. you name it, I was scared of it.

but you know what? if you see someone you know, they are there for the exact same reason you are so it's cool. if you don't want to speak, don't. if it's a meeting where everyone introduces themselves and you don't want to, just say "pass." no worries.

good luck, man. I think you will enjoy the meetings when you get there.

Dee74

You're not the first person to do that Mick.
Try again - there's nothing for you doing the same old stuff...right?.

D

digdug

Hi Mick,

Every single person in that AA meeting had to walk through the doors for the first time just like you're trying to do. They had the same fears and anxiety. They know exactly how you're feeling.

You are under no obligation to do anything you don't want to do at an AA meeting. No one will make you speak. No one will force you to interact if you don't want to. And most importantly, no one will judge you no matter what. Because they don't want to be judged either. We all have the same problem.

I still get a little anxious going to a meeting I've never been to before. But as soon as I walk through the door, I know I'm among people who are the same as me and just want some help.

Good luck!

grandma12

It took me 3 tires, first time I drove right past, nex time I sat in car almost the whole time then left 3rd time I went on time but sat until I was 10 min late, no one seem to notice and were very welcoming. I go 2-3 times a week and will have a year in on dec 9. Just take it one day at a time.

least

Try it again. They are there to help you, not bug you. You can just give your first name if they go around the room and say "I'm just here to listen". Don't be afraid. They all went to their first meeting too at one time or another.

mfanch

I couldn't save my face and my azz at the same time. Once I realized that everyone in there had to have their first meeting also, and that we all share a common peril, it wasn't so hard. And it proved to be much easier than I imagined.

Glad you are here.

Ruby2

Hi! You made it to the meeting site. Even if you didn't go in this time, you made it at least that far. Keep trying. Everyone is afraid the first time but honestly, no one bites. Everyone in that meeting was the new person once. They are not there to judge you. They are there to stay sober. You will only be the new person once.

At the meetings I go to they ask in the beginning if it is anyone's first meeting in life or first time at that meeting. You simply take a deep breath, raise your hand and introduce yourself. Usually people clap and say welcome and that is about it. Most of the time someone will start a list of names and phone numbers and hand them to you at the end of the meeting with the suggestion to keep coming back.

You don't have to talk. You can just sit and listen. People will understand. Unless you start going and then don't say anything for months but I am being facetious. I find meetings helpful in calming my mind. And to eked me on track.

Good luck.

hellhammer

Time to see whats inside!! /put on the armor and go , dont look behind!

awuh1

Most of us who go to meetings regularly have seen just about everything from people who are attending their first meeting. People who are drunk, people who want to learn how to control their drinking, people who stare at the floor nearly the whole time and do not speak, people who come five minutes late and leave 5 minutes early (so as to avoid any conversation), and people who cry the entire time. It's all good. They made it. Now they can begin the journey with some friends they haven't met yet. I'm always glad to see them, whatever the case may be.

anonymick

Thanks for the advice and words of wisdom everyone. I do need to "suck it up" and just go...get over being "the new guy" just that first time. I'm going to try again tomorrow. Luckily they have the same meeting at the same time every day of the week. So I'll try again.

JadeSatellite

Mick,

Believe me, just like you, most folks are so worried about what *other* people are thinking about them, that they aren't even noticing and/or judging you. Try again.

chrissp

I did not have a single person NOT shake my hand, welcome me, and tell me, "relax, you're in the right place."

whosthisguy

Lol, I was both of those. My first meeting I ever went to, I was hammered. Sobbed uncontrollably the whole time. The second meeting I went to (which was while sober) was just last week... still cried, though. I went to my third meeting yesterday and it was still awkward. I'm still hopeful that everything will turn out alright and I'll get into as time goes on. It's always going to be uncomfortable at first. Anonymick, we are used to drinking away our discomforts. This is what it feels like... to feel. We'll be okay. For the record, a million people will probably come up to you after the meeting and give you their phone numbers.