my cold turkey off heroin story
 

hey guys,

long time lurker, figured id start posting since ive became a recluse lately. eitherway i am in my 20's and i graduated college and while i was at college i started with pain pills, that eventually led to heroin and you guys know the story. after many arrests (still facing some charges) I have been clean for 14 days and it would be 32 days but i had a 2 day relapse. anyone who thinks you wont go into withdrawal after a relapse is wrong. i was doing 2 bundles a day for a year, i know that is a lot but I withdrawed both of those times cold turkey, with nothing, not even an aspirin. it was hard i admit, but i got through it and am stronger for it.

I am starting to journal on here, and if anyone wants to join in or add their story you can join in! I have alot of issues legally, my family is connected to the mob, and im not allowed in therapy im supposed to just 'be a man and be quiet' so i figured i may as well get my therapy here. Im having a hard time getting a job with my record, even though i have a college degree, so im on this site lurking for 10 hours a day.

I will update this and if anyone wants to talk or anything im open to it.

thanks guys

Hi Neighbor! Glad you finally posted. Clean and sober for 14 days, good job! Welcome to SR

let me guess leana, you sneaked off to the library so you can use the computer since your amish! haha

HaHaHa - You'll have to excuse my short response, I gotta put the horse and buggy in the barn.

hahahaha i litterally busted out laughing! thanks for that! :)

:welcome to SR! This is a very supportive site you've just joined. We're glad you're here. :)

Great to meet you thatslife - I'm so glad you reached out for some support.

Love Frankie and your screen name. :)

Congratulations on 14 days, thatslife. I hope you will keep at it.

I recently lost a good friend who couldn't overcome his heroin addiction. That stuff is the devil.

thanks guys im glad i have some people to talk to i felt like i was going crazy

Welcome Thatslife - sounds like you have a bunch of time on your hands. I have recommended this book to a few others it was recommended to me form another SR member: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. Actually speaks volumes to heroin and why your brain developed the way it did. What we have in common with other addicts.

Good luck. Given your comment about your family ties, I am taking all meetings or therapy are out? If so, perhaps AVRT and Rational Recovery combined with online support might be useful. I personally am familiar with AA but am starting to learn more about other programs too.

i just need to meet people who arent involved in crime/ drugs.. seems like i dont know anyone else but i know they are out there

I can't disagree with that logic but understanding why you are attracted to crime and drug (other than family stuff) might help you stay sober.

Again, good luck and keep posting.

i guess the rush of it? i think i love the action and chase of everything but ive really had it this time with all my problems

Hey thatslife,
I've been in recovery from a heroin addiction as well for 2 months and 2 weeks. Relapsed on Halloween, but I don't consider myself being a failure for that, so that's why I say "in recovery" ;)
for the past 4 years of my addiction, I really thought that the only thing I'd have to suffer from would be my physical withdrawls. I had no effing idea how bad it would have messed with my brain also. Lol sucks dealing with the aftermath effects like anxiety and depression but each day you start getting to know more and more reasons why you should stay sober. At first it's like...... ehhh why am I sober again? lol
are you seeing a drug counseler?

:) keep going, thatslife. being clean for as long as you have is actually something to be really proud of, each day adds to that.
I know how hard it is trying to find a job with a police record, though... that's really tough and it makes it hard for someone to recover also. but don't let it discourage you, get a crappy job for now and then talk to your lawyer after some more sober time (like that person said in your other post) then you'll be able to pick up where you left off with your degree.
:D

Welcome aboard thatslife :)

D

today is just about the same, i took 2 walks and am going to do yoga, still sort of depressed with all my legal issues but theres nothing i can do about it. i find myself taking sometimes 3 showers a day nowadays, not because it helps my muscles but because once i break the littlest of sweat i feel i need to shower, which is totally opposite of when i was using i didnt care about hygiene very much. I just need to figure out how to deal with going to jail, although i probably will be granted bail there is no one to bail me out. i went to jail in july for a week and the only thing it teaches you is more criminality since the only way to survive in there is be one of them. you will get eaten alive if you show any weakness. i just hope that i can get granted R.O.R and be able to go about my life i really dont want to sit in jail for christmas but if i have to do it i have to do it. sometimes i wish i could just run away to another country but i know i would be miserable.

thanks for listening guys.