pattyj

I left my boyfriend of 6 years and our beautiful house at a month sober to live with my parents and do the things that I needed to do to get sober. He had to move back with his parents because the house belongs to my family.

I started talking to him again after 5 months of no communication. I thought that we could try again, start completely over. It went okay for about a month but he was pushing me to see his daughter and parents. I couldn't do that just yet. He also said that he would probably always resent me for the way I left. That's not healthy for either of us. Last week we went out to a resturant and things were going great until some old friends showed up and my ex decided to get hammered. I left almost right away, he texted me some not-so-nice things, and he drove home drunk at 2am.

I have decided that I deserve way better than this. It's hard to let go of a long relationship and a person whom I considered my very best friend. But I don't think that I will ever be happy with him. There are more cons than pros; that's a red flag too.

This also happened the day before my 7 month sober proud time. Being sober completely changes you and it's hard to accept that you can't go back to your old life. But I would rather be alive and sober then an active alcoholic.

Whether you know it or not, you are all a huge part of my life and I couldn't have gotten through the things over the past 7 months without all of you on my side.

Thank you!

Thepatman

Well done for leaving him, you protected what is the most important, sobriety and you
;-)

I had a similar experience before. I was sober from booze and Cigs, tried to go back with her, she was drinking like a fish and smoking. I fell off the wagon because I did not set boundaries.

pattyj

Wow... At least I'm not alone in this. Good thing you left her and was able to get yourself back on track!

suki44883

Bravo!!

Look at your recovery shine!!

ReadyAtLast

good on you.you sound very strongand positive

hopeful4

You would have two choices. Go back to him, be miserable and most likely relapse yourself OR do what you just said, see that there are more negatives than postives and move on.

Congrats to YOU on your 7 months of sobriety. That is something to be proud of. YOU HAVE CHANGED YOURSELF...what can he say? Not much it seems to me.

You do deserve better. Don't just walk away if you see him coming. RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION...QUICKLY!!!

Congrats Again!!!

zombiegirl

Well done babygirl very proud of u xxx

Anna

You did the right thing.

least

You followed your head, not your heart, and that was a wise decision.

pattyj

Hopeful... I will run in the other direction. Thank you all for the positive responses! It is hard to use your head and not follow your heart. Thanks!

hopeful4

Good for you! At some point you will find someone who will allow you to listen to your head and heart at the same time. If they don't match up...you've got the wrong person!

Blessings!!

Dee74

sounds like you did the right thing Patty

D

Flying4Life

Wow pattyj, that is absolutely amazing! You have come so far in the past 7 months and it is inspiring. I am so proud of you for making the decisions that need to be made in order for you to be healthy and happy. I know first hand how hard it is to let go of someone who is unhealthy for you but you have loved and confided in for such a long time. There is something better out there for you, just keeping walking along this path you are on. You are doing so well!

Deleteda

You sound really strong, good for you in a very hard situationX

soberclover

I needed this post to read about your strength. I have placed some distance between my ABF of 4 years and myself and I'm not feeling as strong as you right now. I know that he is an alcoholic and I am recovering and the two do not blend well. It just hurts sometimes. Thank you for your post!

Hawkeye13

Well done Patty! 7 months is incredible, and you did a very difficult thing in letting go of him to take care of yourself and your sobriety.

I will go eat some ice cream in your honor now ;-) I lift my spoon in cheers!

kittlekat

I hope someday I am able to say the same things, be as strong, and live most days with that optimism! Thank you I needed that right now!

pattyj

Thank you all! I will eat some ice cream too!
Soberclover - it is very hard to do this. It took me leaving and going through IOP and reconnecting with my ex to realize that he would never make me happy. Aside from quitting alcohol, this has been the most difficult thing for me to do. Sure, I want that best friend and partner in crime. But I don't want it to be him in that position. I finally realized that there was a difference between actually wanting my ex and just wanting someone by my side. Do a pros and cons list and really think about it. I went back to him even after the cons list was longer. I reevaluated it and made my decision to really be done with him. It's painful but you can't do anything if you don't survive this and I wouldn't have survived if I continued with this man.
Kittlekat - you are brand new to this. Take one day at a time and stay sober for that day and things will get better. Being sober sucks sometimes, most of the time in the beginning (and the beginning lasted for months for me) but it does get better. You just have to wade through all of the crap to make it to the good part. I didn't think I would be living with my parents at 30 but I had to make the changes that would keep me alive. I never, ever thought that the hel! that I was going through in the beginning would ever go away, but it did. Stay strong! It will get better in time, I can promise that.