mecanix

Hey teardrop,

I had 10 long years of coming back and going back out . I think i've been aware of this website for at least 5 years although for most of that time i was one of those people who just looked and had huge resentments about nearly everything everyone posted on here .
As i am now, I would have really wound myself up …

Hope to see you post soon and i hope you come give sobriety another go, i hope your head ain't too bad today .

Bestwishes, m

FallenAlien

Thats a horrible way to look at it......yet i find myself agreeing with it.....thats depressing.

hypochondriac

Love to you teardrop x Sorry you are struggling. What have you been doing for your recovery? Have you had any support? I always tried doing things by myself because I was raised to sort my own problems out. But it doesn't have to be that way. The strong thing to do is to ask for help when you need it. I hope you come back today and see how much support there is here. Please don't give up trying. There will be something that makes it click for you xxx

coming_clean

Life is suffering...

good luck to you teardrop

dizzychainsaw

Recovery only gets better as time goes on. Everything is not going to be perfect overnight. Give it an honest chance. You will be pleasantly surprised

teardrop

guess its day 1 again for me, lucky for me i kept safe didnt get locked up still got my wife and kids, im a f@cking dick head

but i just get to anywhere between a few weeks to a few months and then struggle cant cope with my ocd and drink???

free2Bsober13

So glad you came back. I'm struggling right now also about being in recovery. I just don't want to be. I'm not sure it's all that necessary. I haven't broken yet, and deep down I hope I don't. I know exactly what I will do. I'll drink and say, "Everything is fine. I'm ok". The next day I'll regret it and put myself right back into recovery. I've done it before.

I hope you don't feel too bad today. Don't be too hard on yourself either. It seems some of us find it hard to remain content with sobriety after a while.

Have a fantastic day today, and don't drink. ;-)

DoubleDragons

Something in you really wants this Teardrop. You would not have been here last night and you wouldn't be here now, if you didn't really want sobriety. Surrender to it.

Kissimee54

I can so relate. Life is messy a lot of the time and it sucks. However my experience has always been that going into oblivion stops working at some point. Heaven and hell are not places "out there", they're simply different states of mind.

LindaLou

Good to see you back teardrop. I go thru the same thing...get sober for a while then crash...over and over. It's a crazy cycle. Just take one day at a time...that's all we can do. Hugs to you - hope you're not feeling too bad today.

JaylaaKent

I got very angry and lashed out at everyone during my early recovery (still do/still am). It's totally normal. Your brain is all over the place. My DR told me give it at least 12 months for the chemical stew I was exposing my brain to, to totally heal. If you don't push through those tough times to give your body time to heal, you'll never really know if sobriety is for you or not. People here just trying to help - they are not the enemy - the drink making you say/do things is. What you are experiencing is totally normal. Totally. You will see it - I promise.

hypochondriac

How about not coping and not drinking...? At some point we have to deal with difficult things sober, and it gets easier the more we do it. Did drinking really help you in the long run anyway? x

Hawkeye13

Hi teardrop;

I'm glad your back. I relapsed many times. But just one day is more a blip than a relapse. It is great that you kept safe. Recovery is hard but now that I have more sober time than drunk time these past two years, I would have to say that my life is much better, my depression and anger are largely gone, and my family life is much more stable.

It's OK, don't beat yourself up, and think about what you can do differently next time.

Joe Nerv

While I know this is no joking matter, that made me laugh.

Sobriety sucked for me for the first 6 months. And I put a lot of work into those 6 months. A rehab, outpatient counseling, AA, stepwork, getting involved in meetings, not doing the things I did previously... spending nights alone in my house reading things to aid my sobriety.

For me, I hurt enough to be willing to do anything and everything to stay sober. I got stupid, and trusted that the people around me knew a lot more than I did, regarding staying sober.

The life I know have for what felt like a sacrifice back then is unfreaking believable. Tons and tons of gifts I never expected, nor dreamed of.

It sucks, in the beginning, but it gets better. And in my opinion the "better" is in direct proportion to our willingness to change.

I wish you the best, and know that you can get and stay sober. Just about every one of us here has been where you are, and found light on the other side.

Hevyn

Proud of you for coming back teardrop. We all know what a struggle it is & we are with you.

KateL

I failed for more than twenty years, but kept at it. Been sober, my way, for ten xx

LadyBlue0527

If you truly feel that way then something is very much missing from your recovery.

Are you sitting around lamenting about the fact that you want to drink and can't? That's not recovery.

KateL

It is sometimes, but, for me, not very often thankfully

foolsgold66

Life is not guaranteed to suck less sober. The odds favor it though. Stay around and talk about how you've been doing.

free2Bsober13

I feel the same way unfortunately. It's like I have lost something. But I know what I have really gained is freedom. It's difficult to keep that at the forefront of my mind sometimes.