Repeated Failures
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2
Repeated Failures
When I was younger, alcohol was a fun indulgence, seemingly good times and memories. As I've aged, it has become a crippling disease that has compromised my wellbeing and essence. I've tried repeatedly to quit to no avail. My greatest fear is to depart this life regretting what I could have experienced and my gravest realization is that too much time has past to salvage what may have been.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 196
Welcome Saturated! It's never too late. I think you are going to have a good experience here on SR. There are a lot of people who have been were you have been and felt the same feelings. What may have been is not worth sweating over. That time is gone. What can be...that is what counts now!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Finger Lakes, NY
Posts: 521
Welcome to SR! It is never too late to start living your life. Glad you found this site - I come here daily, it keeps me sober (and sane)! Keep coming back, reading and posting. You are never alone here! 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: The Midlands, UK
Posts: 67
Welcome to the forum.
I know what you mean mate.
Originally Posted by Saturated 
When I was younger, alcohol was a fun indulgence, seemingly good times and memories. As I've aged, it has become a crippling disease that has compromised my wellbeing and essence. I've tried repeatedly to quit to no avail. My greatest fear is to depart this life regretting what I could have experienced and my gravest realization is that too much time has past to salvage what may have been.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
I, too, started drinking when I was younger back when it was fun and seemed to bring a happiness to my life I didn't have before. As the years went by, that fun turned into a very dark, depressing and lonely world. Before I knew it, I had a problem and I didn't know how to get out. I went on for years knowing I needed to stop, wanting to stop, begging to stop without any success.
Then, something inside me snapped as I was about to turn 30. My addition had gotten to the point of not being able to hide it. People could smell it on me. My work performance was suffering and I could tell my memory was getting worse. My body was showing the signs of abuse. I could not take it any longer. I decided I had to stop. I came here a few days later and received more support, care and love than I could have ever imagined from a community of strangers. I made it through a rough week of detoxing. Then my first weekend. Then a week turned into two, then three and soon a month. I had a few slips but got right back up.
Over two and a half months later, I look back on that trapped version of myself like looking back on a stranger. Everyday is still a struggle of vigilance and determination but I can see clearly now why it's worth it.
You can do this! It's not easy but find support where you can. Here, AA, SMART, a therapist... whoever and whatever! Trust me, I went through years of struggle and it's definitely worth it once you make that decision that you HAVE to make a change. Read, post and reach out here and welcome to the SR community!
Then, something inside me snapped as I was about to turn 30. My addition had gotten to the point of not being able to hide it. People could smell it on me. My work performance was suffering and I could tell my memory was getting worse. My body was showing the signs of abuse. I could not take it any longer. I decided I had to stop. I came here a few days later and received more support, care and love than I could have ever imagined from a community of strangers. I made it through a rough week of detoxing. Then my first weekend. Then a week turned into two, then three and soon a month. I had a few slips but got right back up.
Over two and a half months later, I look back on that trapped version of myself like looking back on a stranger. Everyday is still a struggle of vigilance and determination but I can see clearly now why it's worth it.
You can do this! It's not easy but find support where you can. Here, AA, SMART, a therapist... whoever and whatever! Trust me, I went through years of struggle and it's definitely worth it once you make that decision that you HAVE to make a change. Read, post and reach out here and welcome to the SR community!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Quesnel, BC
Posts: 24
Do not ever give up. It took a lot of hard work, and a lot of loss, but I am now getting my life back. Some would say I lost too much, almost everything, but my brain and my body are healing and yours can too. Just keep trying different things to gain your sobriety, not just the same thing over and over! Rehab, group, sponsors, AA, not AA, family, sober friends, etc etc etc. One thing never emphasized enough is getting medical help to heal the physical damage to body and brain... Try to take 3 actions a day, but only expect some to be successful! Then be healthy, then have some fun - every day. This is the human experience. We have a great Canadian song writer that said, "Having friends is hard, raising a family is hard, holding a job is hard... loving someone is hard.... (etc)." "I hope you have a good, hard, life." Love, Fozzybear
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
That was my fear too saturated - but after 15 years, and the help of this community, I changed all that.
You can turn things around. Whatever you've tried before, you can try again - with the strong and sincere desire you have now in 2013 to be sober...or you can try any number of new avenues.
The story is not over...it's hardly begun
There's a vista of opportunities waiting for you
Welcome to SR
D
You can turn things around. Whatever you've tried before, you can try again - with the strong and sincere desire you have now in 2013 to be sober...or you can try any number of new avenues.
The story is not over...it's hardly begun
There's a vista of opportunities waiting for you
Welcome to SR
D
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi Saturated.
As Dee suggested, there is a much better life for you if you're willing to work for it.
There is a little-known debate among psychologists and psychiatrists that started when medications were developed that could help people with schizophrenia (arguably the most painful disease known to man) manage their symptoms and live a meaningful life. The discussion likely began in the 1980s and has persisted at various levels of interest and intensity since that time.
On one side, generally, are those who've argued that the trauma of regaining awareness and a certain amount of control over the thoughts, feelings and behaviors among those afflicted after living most of their lives living in a painful, alternate reality would be overly traumatizing and therefore defeat the purpose of introducing the medication.
On the other side, generally, are those who've argued that the relief associated with being liberated from severe psychopathology and associated symptoms, social stigma, and poor, sometimes abusive treatment from others, would be extremely beneficial, while also providing an opportunity for those afflicted to live a better life.
You're already in a place where you recognize and acknowledge the extent of the losses from drinking for much of your life, so it seems wise for you to take the next step and build a more fulfilling and more meaningful life for yourself.
What I don't see in your comments is what you've done to try to get sober in the past. I'm not going out on a limb here by saying that most people who try this on their own don't get very far. Without treatment or a program of recovery in place -- and without sufficient supports -- this is extremely tough sledding.
It's time. Life awaits.
As Dee suggested, there is a much better life for you if you're willing to work for it.
There is a little-known debate among psychologists and psychiatrists that started when medications were developed that could help people with schizophrenia (arguably the most painful disease known to man) manage their symptoms and live a meaningful life. The discussion likely began in the 1980s and has persisted at various levels of interest and intensity since that time.
On one side, generally, are those who've argued that the trauma of regaining awareness and a certain amount of control over the thoughts, feelings and behaviors among those afflicted after living most of their lives living in a painful, alternate reality would be overly traumatizing and therefore defeat the purpose of introducing the medication.
On the other side, generally, are those who've argued that the relief associated with being liberated from severe psychopathology and associated symptoms, social stigma, and poor, sometimes abusive treatment from others, would be extremely beneficial, while also providing an opportunity for those afflicted to live a better life.
You're already in a place where you recognize and acknowledge the extent of the losses from drinking for much of your life, so it seems wise for you to take the next step and build a more fulfilling and more meaningful life for yourself.
What I don't see in your comments is what you've done to try to get sober in the past. I'm not going out on a limb here by saying that most people who try this on their own don't get very far. Without treatment or a program of recovery in place -- and without sufficient supports -- this is extremely tough sledding.
It's time. Life awaits.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by Saturated
My greatest fear is to depart this life regretting what I could have experienced and my gravest realization is that too much time has past to salvage what may have been.
You are an alcoholic, and that will never change. However, so long as you stay away from alcohol, your future is yours to write. Surround yourself with non-drinking alcoholics, and immerse yourself in the things they did to get that way. It's not always easy, but it is that simple.
Four years ago, my life was rapidly falling apart. I came to the realization that I feared another week of my alcoholic existence more than death. It was then that I was ready to do whatever it took to get and stay sober, and I continue to do the things I need to do every day to maintain my physical and emotional sobriety.
I choose my life now, I don't have to settle for what might have been. You can too, if you are willing to go to any length to get it.
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